…”Weird Al” Yankovic is…
STRAIGHT OUTTA LYNNWOOD.

Aw, yeah…
…”Weird Al” Yankovic is…
STRAIGHT OUTTA LYNNWOOD.

Aw, yeah…
Relating to the Spotlight Kid’s fine posting below, one should also be aware of a highly disturbing article which appeared on the always-fair-and-balanced Fox News website last week about the album. What’s worse is that there’s nothing in it that really surprises me…
Record Biz Crisis: Top 20 Misses 750K
By Roger Friedman
The top 20 pop albums sold fewer than a total of 750,000 CDs last week.
You read that correctly. The actual total was 738,211. The number includes 220,000 copies of a greatest hits singles collection from all the labels, “Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 22.” Without “Now 22,” regular releases came in around 500,000 copies.
This is a crisis that no one acknowledges in the record business. But consider that recently dismissed Sony execs Donnie Ienner and Michelle Anthony were making $2 million a year, and that their income is typical of upper echelon management in any record company. If the half million CD sold at full price — $15 — then they didn’t even pay for a small part of one salary.
Consider also the execs at radio conglomerates, who have tightened playlists so that few new records are played unless — as identified by New York State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer’s findings — stations receive free trips, gadgets and other gifts as inducements. You might wonder how any of the companies on either side can afford to stay in business.
Consider that last Tuesday, “Now 22” was not the only new release. Sony/Epic issued a new CD by writer-producer Butch Walker, a performer whom this column has extolled over and over. Not only did no one from the company bother to send it here, this reporter only learned about it by accident — yesterday. Walker, who should have a following from his extensive touring — he produces and opens for Avril Lavigne. But he’s been ignored by his label and radio. What’s he supposed to do? The CD sold fewer than 15,535 copies — the minimum it would have taken to hit the top 50. And here’s an amazing statistic: four songs from the new album have been played a total of 200,000 times on Walker’s MySpace page. I doubt this is the work of one person who clicked the links that many times. Some group of people is interested in Butch Walker. They’re just not a group that his label or radio stations are interested in, apparently. If they were, there would be more of an investment in Walker’s career — and other countless talented artists like him — by the record companies. Instead, the record stores are empty, and customers are drifting toward other entertainment.
There isn’t a lot to look forward to right away in terms of new releases: Rapper DMX has a new album on Aug. 1, but his last one was three years ago. Rocker Tom Petty’s waited four years to put his new CD, and the last one wasn’t exactly a bestseller with fewer than 350,000 copies sold.
Yesterday’s crop of new releases has only one promising title, by Los Lonely Boys, whose previous album sold 2 million copies. All eyes will be on them to see if they can beat their last first week sales record: 4,000 copies. That shouldn’t be too hard. Or Music, a satellite label from Epic, sticks with their artists the way most labels do not.
Joey Garza of Los Lonely Boys was arrested yesterday for possession of mary jane. More than two ounces, kids. This just goes to show that you really need to know where to hide your stash. Garza was also hit with an assault causing bodily injury charge after having some altercation with a woman in a hotel room.
Hey, he’s a lonely boy, give him a break! And now cue up “Lonely Boy” by Andrew Gold in tribute to his arrest, won’t you?
You get a call from one of your buddies. He tells you that the boys are going to a bar with two-dollar beers and mud wrestling. You tell him that you’ve been battling a wicked stomach virus all day, and that you’ll just have to sit this one out. But you don’t have a stomach virus. In fact, you’ve got a beer of your own in your hand. You just don’t want to go out because there’s ice skating on TV.
Guilty pleasures. We’ve all got ’em. If you don’t have ’em, then you’re either not human or, worse, boring. We at Bullz-Eye have bared our souls for the world to see, revealing the movies, TV shows and music that make us giddy. When no one is looking, of course.
A few examples:
Styx
It’s not horrifically uncool to like Pieces of Eight-era Styx…which is a good thing, because I nearly wet my pants with giddiness when Chris Daughtry sang “Renegade” on “American Idol.” What’s not so cool is to dig late-period Styx. Specifically, Kilroy Was Here-era Styx. Specifically, “Mr. Roboto.” When this song came out in 1983, I thought it was the coolest thing I had ever heard. Most people grew out of that. I never did. This poignant saga of the tragic figure that just needed somewhere to hide, to keep him alive, spoke to me at a very primal level, and raised a million questions. Is he a man? A machine? Both? His heart is human, his blood is boiling; his brain IBM. What will he do? Where will he go? Can he ever take that mask off? What if he gets a zit underneath it? Does he still have to pee? Can he have sex? Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto, for helping me escape whenever I need to…even now. – Deb Medsker, Contributor
William Shatner, “Common People”/”I Am Canadian” (2004/2000)
There’s just something about the idea of the Shatman crooning that begs it not to be taken very seriously, and how can you when the guy’s musical history includes that god-awful rendition of Elton John’s “Rocket Man”? On the contrary, not only is Shatner’s version of the Pulp track “Common People” better, but it’ll completely throw your friends for a loop when Captain James T. Kirk starts blaring from your car stereo speakers. And as a companion piece to “Common People,” the pop icon’s candid “Just for Laughs” performance of “I Am Canadian” (which features lyrics like: “I’m not a Starfleet Commander or T.J. Hooker / I don’t live on Starship NCC-1701 or own a phaser / I don’t know anyone named Bones, Sulu or Spock”) is absolutely priceless. – Jason Zingale, Associate Editor
Check out all our lists here.
If there’s one thing that never changes about Walter Becker and Donald Fagen (you know, Steely Dan), it’s their dry wit and how well they apply it. Of course, this has often left naysayers of their band shaking their heads in collective confusion. But so it goes. Steely Dan rulz, and I can’t wait to see ’em on August 30. Anyway, what we have here is an open letter to Luke Wilson from Walter and Donald telling him their feelings on brother Owen and You, Me, & Dupree, specifically that they feel some Hollywood lazy ass got his idea from their song “Cousin Dupree” on the Two Against Nature album. It’s a good read, a good laugh, and hopefully a wake up call to Owen to stop making shitty movies.
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