RIYL: Erasure, Hercules and Love Affair, being absolutely freakin’ fabulous

It’s clear after listening to Andy Bell’s latest solo effort Non-Stop that he’s the happy half of the synth-pop duo Erasure. While both Erasure and Bell’s solo material primarily consist of poppy synth-pop melodies with dance floor-friendly beats, the lyrical content of Erasure songs are always melancholy, introspective and down. Maybe Vince Clarke, the other half of the legendary synth-pop duo, likes to bring you down when you get your groove on. Conversely Bell’s solo tunes are, with rare exception, just as happy, upbeat and hopeful as the synth-heavy music that accompanies them. About as down as Bell gets on Non-Stop is “Will You Be There?” where he questions a lover’s reliability. But the tone of the song pretty much assumes that the answer to the titular question is a resounding “yes.” Almost every other track on this stellar solo effort is an excursion into fabulous happiness, climaxing in the brilliant “DHDQ,” which stands for “Debbie Harry Drag Queen.” It’s a track tailor-made to be the theme song for the next season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” It, like just about every other track here, is a sure-fire hit for gay clubs across the world, don’t try to be ‘manly’ and pass them up. ‘Real’ men can listen to dance-pop while sipping on Appletinis too, dammit. Well, they can at least listen to dance-pop. (Mute 2010)

Andy Bell MySpace Page

Every music lover has been there – in front of the television or a set of speakers, listening for the first time to the work of a critically revered artist whose songs are supposed to change the way you look at the world…only to come away wondering what all the hype was about. For the iconoclastic among us, these moments are opportunities to prove what independent thinkers we are; for everyone else – a group that often appears to include virtually every name-brand music critic on the planet – they’re opportunities to turn off your ears, nod your head, and smile. What kind of self-respecting music writer doesn’t love the music of Bruce Springsteen? U2? Elvis Costello? A total hack, right?

Maybe. Or maybe we tend to forget that one of the most wonderful things about art is the utterly objective way we respond to it. One establishment’s treasure can be one lonely listener’s source of constant befuddlement, consternation or outright rage – and with that in mind, your Bullz-Eye Music staff put its heads together and drew up a list of all the bands and artists we’re supposed to love…but don’t. Each of the writers who contributed to this piece is speaking solely for himself, and you’re sure to disagree with some of the names mentioned here – and, of course, that’s sort of the point. But enough of our introductory babble – let’s break down some critical idols!

The Doors
“…don’t even think about describing their sound as “timeless”; you’ll be hard pressed to find music as trapped in time as these peyote-fueled dirges, and no one summed up the life and legacy of Jim Morrison – whose death was as brilliant a career move as you’ll ever see – better than Denis Leary: ‘I’m drunk, I’m nobody. I’m drunk, I’m famous. I’m drunk, I’m fucking dead.'”

Bruce Springsteen
“Perhaps Jello Biafra put it best when he referred to Bruce Springsteen as ‘Bob Dylan for jocks.’ But I can sum up what I dislike about the majority of the Boss in one word: Glockenspiel.”

Pink Floyd
“If you’re 14 and discovering pot, Pink Floyd’s a must. Hell, Dark Side of the Moon is practically a gateway drug in and of itself. If you’re out of high school and still into ’em, you’ve got a problem.”

Conor Oberst
“…his songs are duller than a steak knife in a prison cafeteria. I’ve tried repeatedly to ‘get’ Oberst’s work, but each time, I come away further convinced that his music is an elaborate prank hatched by the editors of Pitchfork.”

To read the rest of the bands Bullz-Eye doesn’t get, click here.