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Desperately seeking Lucille

80-year-old blues legend B.B. King lost his young dog, Lucille, when she was in the care of King’s manager, Matthew Lieberman, who apparently left a gate ajar. To encourage the safe return of Lucille the dog, King is offering one of his signature “Lucille” guitars, complete with autograph, as a reward. King is also presumably looking for a new manager with adequate gate-keeping skills, but is not offering a reward for that position.

Meanwhile, alleged dog molester Natasha Lyonne said that she had not seen King’s small, white, perky, extremely affectionate young Maltese.

The Arcade Fire: “Cold Wind”

In an earlier post, I recommended Sia’s “Breathe Me,” which I first heard on the final episode of “Six Feet Under.” That song is also on the Six Feet Under, Vol. 2: Everything Ends soundtrack. Another fine song on the disc is “Cold Wind” by The Arcade Fire. Normally, artists provide throwaway tracks for these sountrack collections, but “Cold Wind” is a track that would easily be in the top 5 songs on the band’s breakthrough, Funeral. The first two minutes are appropriately somber, with Win Butler’s vocals set against an acoustic guitar, but the track breaks out at the 2:11 mark with a “hey hey hey!” If you liked Funeral, find this track.

Listen to a song clip here.

American Idol Boston

Are you as tired of these “American Idol” auditions as I am? Seven cities, thousands of awful singers, a few good ones, and way way too much of Ryan Seacrest. Thankfully, last night’s Boston auditions were the final preliminaries before moving the party to Hollywood tonight.

Last night’s gems (that they showed anyway) included two basketball playing chicks. One is such a good athlete that she was awarded a scholarship to play at Boston College…..and she could sing too. Don’t you hate it when people have that much talent? Another basketball player moved on as her twin sister coached and cheered her on from the “sidelines”….the twin had ruptured a vocal cord and could not compete.

A chick with a mop on top of her head sang pretty good and kissed Randy Jackson’s ass enough to get through to the next round, despite Simon saying she looked like a “pet poodle.” Another kid that barely got through was 16 year old Kevin, a dorky looking dude who sang a lispy version of a Josh Groban song.

The ones that sucked were indeed the ratings grabbers again….it started with James, an Eminem clone who (get this) could not even pronounce the word “melodic.” Do some of these people go to school in someone’s bunghole? There was this chick immigrant who brought her vocal coach and claimed to be the “whole package”….always a red flag. She proceeded to begin a striptease while singing, errr, cracking her way through two songs. She was easily one of the worst singers any of us have ever heard.

This one chick sang Loverboy’s “Working For the Weekend” opera style. Enough said about that.

Another sang her own version of “M-I-C-K-E-Y”…..are you kidding me?

It only got worse though…..this dude named Kenneth sang Cher’s “Believe” and it was wrong on so many levels. For one, he took himself seriously and thought he was going to be the next Idol. Two, he sucked. Thirdly, he was a dude singing Cher and also admitted to singing Judy Garland songs. He then lashed back at Simon when Simon told him he should wear a dress and be a female impersonator. I mean, what did this jackass expect? Dude, you are not a dude in the sense of the word “dude”…live with it.

The final contestant they showed was a Clay Aiken look-alike who was annoying right from the start….he really couldn’t sing well, and then claimed it was because he had to pee. So they let the poor sap take a leak (cameras following him) and then he came back to sing one bar before Simon declared “ok, thank you.”

After a look back at the highlights and lowlights of the past seven episodes, the producers teased us with some of the Hollywood action that starts tonight. I’m just thankful that from here on out, the competition should heat up, as well as the love/hate relationship between all the judges. Oh, and of course more of that annoying Seacrest dude.

Readers, welcome to Hollywood.

Damn. I was hoping it was just my TV.

I cannot BELIEVE that ABC censored the Stones during their Super Bowl performance…but I’m not entirely shocked. We were sitting around, eating chili and beef barbeque, and my buddy Jim said, “Did they just mute Mick on the line, ‘You’d make a dead man come’?!?”

The answer, apparently, was “yes.” They also turned the volume down during “Rough Justice” – and kudos, by the way, on sneaking a song from the new album, A Bigger Bang, into the mix – when Jagger used the word “cock.”

No shock here: Mick’s mad. A spokesperson for the NFL, however, says that it was discussed with the band beforehand, so maybe it’s just senility kicking in…

David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar?

It’s a question for the ages – or at least for the last 20 years. After releasing six albums with frontman David Lee Roth, the other members of Van Halen jettisoned him in 1985 in favor of Sammy Hagar, who had solo success prior to joining the band. Van Halen released four albums with Hagar from 1986-1995 and he was ultimately replaced in 1996 by former Extreme vocalist Gary Cherone.

So, David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar?

I find myself debating this question every so often, usually with a group of friends and several empty beer bottles strewn about. And I’m always in the minority.

My answer: Sammy Hagar, in a close one.

I can almost hear the collective scoffs of hardcore Van Halen fans everywhere. But hear me out. There’s reasoning behind this.

Looking through my Van Halen iTunes collection, I count no fewer than eleven four- or five-star songs sung by Roth: “Runnin’ With The Devil,” “You Really Got Me,” “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love,” “Jamie’s Cryin’,” “Dance The Night Away,” “Beautiful Girls,” “And The Cradle Will Rock,” “Everybody Wants Some,” “Unchained,” “Panama” and “Hot For Teacher.” A load of great songs, there’s no doubt.

But look at Van Halen’s production during the Hagar years: “Why Can’t This Be Love,” “Dreams,” “Summer Nights,” “Best of Both Worlds,” “Love Walks In,” “When It’s Love,” “Feels So Good,” “Finish What Ya Started,” “Black and Blue,” “Poundcake” and “Top of the World.” Again, I count eleven songs.

I’m sure people will point to “Ice Cream Man,” “Pretty Woman,” “Dancing In The Street,” “Jump” or “I’ll Wait,” and declare Roth the winner. These are all three-star songs in my book but, in response, I submit “Runaround,” “Right Now,” “Can’t Stop Lovin’ You,” “Don’t Tell Me (What Love Can Do),” and “Not Enough.”

People may argue that Roth only had six years with the band versus Hagar’s nine. But keep in mind that Roth had six albums to produce his eleven four-star songs, while Hagar only had four albums to produce his. And I’ll argue that Roth was with the band in their creative prime, when they were hungry, while Hagar was with Van Halen when that creativity and hunger started to diminish.

Not convinced?

All right, I’ll admit that the Roth Eleven rock a bit harder than the Hagar Eleven. But to truly make a fair comparison between the two eras you have to look at the eras those eras existed in. Confused? Me too, but stay with me.

Roth fronted the band from 1978 to 1984, in a time when the “classic” rock sound was still in its heyday. They were putting out great music at the same time AC/DC, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, John Cougar (Mellencamp), Foreigner, ELO, Supertramp (and countless others) were releasing some of their best stuff.

Hagar’s Van Halen made classic rock in a time when the genre was in serious trouble. In the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, new wave, classic rock, hair bands and grunge collided to produce a confusing landscape in the world of rock. In the classic rock genre, Petty and Mellencamp went on to make some excellent albums, but other than a smattering of good songs here and there, the genre was pretty much dead.

So what’s more impressive – making great classic rock in the genre’s golden age or almost single-handedly keeping the genre alive through the early ‘90s?

For me, it’s the latter, which is why Sammy is the right answer.

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