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Not one week after my pal The Chauffeur glossed Kevin Covais “Kevin Michael Hall” he is gone to obscurity along with the likes of Long Duck Dong.

Yes, folks, lispy Kevin was voted off American Idol last night. Forget the fact that Bucky Covington, who was the runner-up for elimination, was much worse on Tuesday night. The fact is Kevin’s days were numbered, because he’s simply not the singer some of the remaining contestants are.

Last night’s Ford commercial featuring all of the remaining contestants was a video of them singing the Go-Go’s “We Got the Beat.” Processed cheese at its finest, that’s all I have to say.

Then they had to fill the 30 minutes, so they let Barry Manilow come and sing one of the songs from his new fifties album. The fact that I don’t remember his performance means one of two things….I am getting old, or it was not memorable. I’m going with the latter. But the best part was when all of the contestants rushed the stage at the end, including the recently voted off Big Gay Mexican Priest…..that dude looked like he was going to either start humping Barry Manilow or eat him.

So here are the updated Marley Power Rankings:

1. Mandisa
2. Chris Daughtry
3. Paris Bennett
4. Katharine McPhee
5. Taylor Hicks
6. Kellie Pickler
7. Lisa Tucker
8. Elliott Yamin
9. Ace Young
10. Bucky Covington

This is getting interesting folks……but now we get to see how the world of Kevin Michael Hall changes when he returns to Long Island. Bucky and Ace, your plane tickets are in the mail too.

Marley, OUT.

Yes, folks, I’m back from Austin. Thanks to The Chauffeur for pinch-hitting while I was swilling beers, eating barbecue, soaking in all the great music and riding elevators with Wayne Coyne not once, but twice. But alas, we must get back to work this week, and for me that means enduring a 2 hour episode of “American Idol.”

So this past week it was Barry Manilow’s turn to tutor the young crop of remaining talent, as they prepared to perform songs from the 1950’s. Since Manilow just released a record of 50’s tunes, he was a good choice for the job, and seemed to actually like what he was doing and give good advice even though he still looks like a limp-wristed version of Joe Montana.

There was one problem with the performances last night, and that is that there were too many great ones. Picking someone to be voted off will be much easier than picking a favorite, but that’s okay because all we have to do is eliminate one contestant per week. Here is the Marley recap:

THE GOOD

Mandisa kicked off the evening by singing “I Don’t Hurt Anymore” and was just awesome. Simon even said she was sexy. I don’t know if I’d go that far….I mean, I look at Mandisa and I get hungry for a grilled cheese sandwich. But man, can she sing.

Paris Bennett sang “Fever” and it was a great song choice. Paris is showing us every week that she’s got what it takes to possibly win it all.

Chris Daughtry sang an alt-rock version of Johnny Cash’s “Walk The Line.” Mr. Manilow commented that Chris knows his strengths, and he was right. What a haunting, riveting, powerful version….this dude could also win the whole thing.

Katharine McPhee sang Ella Fitzgerald’s “Come Rain or Come Shine” and Simon commented that she was becoming a star. I agree….Katharine is a dark horse because she just delivers every week and has one of the best natural voices in the competition. That, and she’s definitely easy on the eyes.

Kellie Pickler did Patsy Cline’s “Walking After Midnight” and it was a way better outing than when she tried to sing Stevie Wonder. Kellie is hanging around, and just might have enough to reach the final four or five.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Taylor Hicks wore a gray suit to match his gray hair….look, I’ve got really light skin but you don’t see me walking around in a Good Humor Man outfit. His performance of “Not Fade Away” was pretty bland, and Simon even called it “a mess.”

Lisa Tucker sang “Why Do Fools Fall in Love” and for the first time, we really noticed the age difference between Lisa and the power of someone like Mandisa. She was boring, off key and as Randy Jackson said, “just aight.”

Kevin Michael Hall (yes, Chauffeur, that was a brilliant gloss) sang “When I Fall in Love.” This was another weird song choice because dude is only 16, but he sounded okay. I do wonder why he had his right hand in his pocket the whole time…..was he getting wood while singing to Paula Abdul and trying to cover it up?

Elliott Yamin sang “Teach Me Tonight” and it was pretty boring, or at least I thought so. Simon said that vocally it was “fantastic.” Sorry Simon, that was not in the class of some of the better performances last night.

Ace Young sang “In the Still of the Night” and actually sounded decent. But still, he’s going to be exiting soon, I can just sense it.

THE BAD

Ladies and gentleman, it is going to be no surprise this week to bid farewell to Bucky Covington. Bucky sang Buddy Holly’s “Oh Boy,” and all I have to say is “OH BOY, THAT SUCKED.” He was all over the place and Simon accurately referred to it as “pointless karaoke.” Dude, you are outclassed in this competition and last night proved it. Now go eat some mashed potatoes and corn.

Let’s see if Marley can continue to be a prophet while finding out what ever happened to Long Duck Dong…..