Holy shit. I take back everything I ever said about this band.
And believe me, I said some bad, bad stuff. From the band’s name (who the hell puts an exclamation point in the middle of their band name, besides !!!, of course) to their laughable, overlong, pretentious song titles – “The Only Difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage,” “Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have without Taking Her Clothes Off,” “There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought of It Yet,” are you fucking kidding me? – the band was a giant punch line to me from the word ‘go.’ And then, when I mistakenly found myself at their stage instead of the Eels’ stage at Lollapalooza 2006, I hated them even more. That last part wasn’t their fault, of course, but I blamed them anyway.
At the same time, there were signs that the band was not quite the hackfest that I thought they were. The Dresden Dolls – love the Dolls or hate ‘em, they’re nobody’s bitches, which is a huge plus in their favor – shot a hilarious video featuring them trying to kill each member of Panic, something they couldn’t and wouldn’t have done without a) the band’s blessing, and b) thinking they were cool guys. So the Dresden Dolls like Panic at the Disco. What do they see that I don’t?
Apparently, it is not what they had seen but what they had heard, namely “Nine in the Afternoon.”
If the members of Panic at the Disco tell you they have not heard Twelve Stops and Home, the awesome 2007 album from the Feeling, they are filthy, filthy liars. “Nine in the Afternoon,” the lead single from Panic at the Disco’s forthcoming album Pretty. Odd (the band may have removed exclamation point from their name, but they are clearly still hung up on inappropriate punctuation), is that entire Feeling album rolled into one awesome song. It’s positively bursting at the seams with ideas, odd time signatures, and harmonies, harmonies, harmonies. It’s grandiose, magnificent stuff, but it begs the question: if they were capable of doing this from the very beginning, why the hell didn’t they?
Sadly, I think I know the answer to that question: survival.
Look at the extreme makeovers we’ve seen in the last couple years. My Chemical Romance makes their name writing snotty songs about how they’re not okay, but the second the label begins to believe in them, they make a Pink Floyd record (The Black Parade). Fall Out Boy, who’s been kicked around more than anyone, actually drew comparisons to Def Leppard with their last album (fuck you if you think that’s a bad thing). Panic, clearly liberated by these bands’ ability to survive on their own terms, decided that if My Chemical Romance can be Floyd, they can be the Beatles. Or Jellyfish, or the Feeling, or all of the above rolled into one.
But here’s the scary question: are new bands afraid to be themselves for fear they won’t get signed, so they pretend to be some trendy, here-today-gone-today band for the sake of a contract, only to show their true colors once they’ve roped in an adoring fan base? Would Panic and My Chemical Romance have been showing their love for the Beatles, Queen and Pink Floyd from the very beginning had they thought it was an option? God, I hope that’s not the case, but it would certainly explain a lot.
Still, better late than never, I suppose, so huzzah to Panic at the Disco for showing us what they’re really made of. I’m now dying to hear their new record. They even shortened the song titles this time around. Will miracles never cease?
