Hilly Kristal, owner of famed New York City punk club CBGB’s, has finally decided to give up his battle to keep the club open…but, as a concession, he’s re-opening it in Sin City.
Kristal said he intends to take the spirit of the club with him as well, adding that the new location “won’t be the same size or the same shape, but I am going to have all the things that matter there.”
Yeah, but, y’know, it’s still not going to be the same.
Ah leave it to VH-1 Classic and Sony BMG Legacy! The two giants have paired up to create a new CD series entitled We Are the ’80s. Yes, once again you can have another artist-specific best-of compilation from the likes of Loverboy, Rick Springfield, Bow Wow Wow, and A Flock of Seagulls! But wait! These aren’t just any old comps. No, sir, they also include “b-sides, album tracks, and rare cuts!” Holy shit, you mean kinda like other superfluous “deluxe editions” of albums that include an entire second disc larded with crap, but this time it’s all within the comp! Wow!
But wait, there’s more! There’s also a tour for these people that will be hitting your better county fair tents everywhere! On the lineup is Rick Springfield, Eddie Money, Scandal and Loverboy! Look out!
This is key for labels like Legacy, which has a strong desire to reach a younger, hipper demographic group. “How do you get a 20-year-old to buy discs by Rick Springfield?” asks Jeff Jones, executive vice president of Legacy Recordings and Sony BMG Catalog Worldwide. “VH1 Classic helps the 25-40 demo discover this cool music.”
Hey, now about telling those young hipsters to not buy Rick Springfield albums? The guy’s been cranking out crapper after crapper for decades now. And does anyone really want to see Loverboy? Money’s been touring any place that will have him for years. The ’80s are toast, folks. We don’t need to have any more rgurgitated fun packs of the most plastic decade in music. The nostalgia is stronger than the music, just remember that. I lived through it. Many a could have been great album was botched thanks to cheeseball ’80s production and bad synths. Yes, there were also some groovy albums that came out as well…but I can’t think of one that was by Loverboy or Eddie Money.
When your career’s in a slump, whaddaya do? Get married is what! Then people like me talk about you and you’re back in the minds of everyone again, despite making crappy music. So who are our lucky newlyweds? Why, it’s none other than Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley! Whibley, if you don’t know, is the guitarist and singer of Sum 41. Both Avril and Whibley had about one big annoying hit each, and then their fans grew up and decided they liked real music. I give this marriage less than a year. I can’t seriously see anyone wanting to stay with either of these two for more than a weekend at best.
Even as his solo joint is supposedly going to drop next month, Kevin Federline is reportedly recording a duet of Bobby Brown’s “Get Away” with his ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson. I really cannot wait to hear this album. I know I’ve said it before, but I mean it. It sounds like this thing’s gonna be recorded on zero budget if the crappy tracks K-Fed’s already released over the past few months are any indication. Never have I wanted to see someone fail so miserably. I know I won’t have to hope too hard for that.
Leave it to those crazy Juggalos. Five of those little rascals have been brought up on felony charges stemming from their violent attacks on innocent folk last month. Per the story,
The attacks at Fort Steilacoom Park over two nights began with the assailants calling to each other — “Woo! Woo! Juggalo!” — said Pierce County Deputy Prosecutor Phil Sorenson.
The attackers, carrying hatchets and machetes, beat and robbed people in the park on the nights of June 19 and June 20 and threatened some with decapitation, according to court records. Some victims went to the hospital with injuries, including a broken jaw and broken nose.
All this for ICP? You kids need some schooling if not a serious lock down for your shitty taste in music alone. To top it off, meth was found in one of the kiddies’ houses, and all five rat bastards are pleading not guilty. Kids, you were as guilty as hell whenyou laid down penny one for that first crappy ICP disc you ever bought.
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