The dinosaurs are comin’ to your town!

Ah leave it to VH-1 Classic and Sony BMG Legacy! The two giants have paired up to create a new CD series entitled We Are the ’80s. Yes, once again you can have another artist-specific best-of compilation from the likes of Loverboy, Rick Springfield, Bow Wow Wow, and A Flock of Seagulls! But wait! These aren’t just any old comps. No, sir, they also include “b-sides, album tracks, and rare cuts!” Holy shit, you mean kinda like other superfluous “deluxe editions” of albums that include an entire second disc larded with crap, but this time it’s all within the comp! Wow!

But wait, there’s more! There’s also a tour for these people that will be hitting your better county fair tents everywhere! On the lineup is Rick Springfield, Eddie Money, Scandal and Loverboy! Look out!

This is key for labels like Legacy, which has a strong desire to reach a younger, hipper demographic group. “How do you get a 20-year-old to buy discs by Rick Springfield?” asks Jeff Jones, executive vice president of Legacy Recordings and Sony BMG Catalog Worldwide. “VH1 Classic helps the 25-40 demo discover this cool music.”

Hey, now about telling those young hipsters to not buy Rick Springfield albums? The guy’s been cranking out crapper after crapper for decades now. And does anyone really want to see Loverboy? Money’s been touring any place that will have him for years. The ’80s are toast, folks. We don’t need to have any more rgurgitated fun packs of the most plastic decade in music. The nostalgia is stronger than the music, just remember that. I lived through it. Many a could have been great album was botched thanks to cheeseball ’80s production and bad synths. Yes, there were also some groovy albums that came out as well…but I can’t think of one that was by Loverboy or Eddie Money.


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