Last night America got a taste of big dollar advertising and how it influences TV. Forget 5 hour Super Bowls and 4-plus hour World Series games. The one-hour results show of “American Idol” ranks right up there and probably commands similar $$ for those precious commercials. But for those of us who just want to know who got booted off, the wait was excruciating.
First, the remaining contestants performed more Queen music, doing a medley. But it was hard to watch with a video montage occuring on a split screen. One of the medley songs was “Killer Queen,” making me wonder why no one attempted that one on Tuesday night.
Then they showed video of each of the contestants’ parents…mildly interesting, but mostly boring.
After that they announced next week’s theme: the music of Rod Stewart. Mrs. Marley almost vomited on command because she loathes Rod Stewart about as much as she loathes root canal.
I guess I’ll be watching next week’s episodes alone.
Then Ryan Seacrest went one by one with the contestants, showing them more video of their parents and families before letting them know if they were safe or in the bottom 3. 20 minutes later, he had declared Taylor, Katharine, Chris and Kellie safe. Then Elliott was the first bottom 3 victim, and he was asked to sing for everyone. After more commercials, Ace was also relegated to the bottom 3 and was asked to sing. Are you kidding me? You want real entertainment? Get Kellie and Katharine to start making out.
Then it was down to Bucky and Paris, with Bucky going to the bottom 3 and Paris going to safety. Of course, then we had to endure Bucky singing again before finding out who went home. And as the Buckster was singing “Fat Bottom Girls” again, it occurred to me: this dude really needs to go home. Lucky for me America felt the same.
Now, people of Bumfuck, North Carolina…..you can go change the population sign from 42 back to 43.
Your Bucky is back.
Ace Young, I think you may be next…especially if you try something stupid like “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” Actually seeing what the contestants choose to sing is half the fun. See you guys next week.
Marley, OUT.
