Last night “American Idol” gave me a gift. They gave me an hour of my life, since the show was only one hour long instead of the agonizing two hours as it was both nights last week. What’s more, I get another one-hour episode tonight. I mean, that’s a whole hour to eat, sleep, watch something else, or practice being me.
And since the auditions were held in San Diego, the contestants heading to Hollywood would have to only drive a few hours north for the next round. Okay, on with those auditions, and we’ll start with the freaks again:
Some dude named Marat was wearing a puffy white shirt, ala Jerry Seinfeld in the “I don’t wanna be a pirate” episode. He was awful, and since the show was just one hour, they followed that up with a medley of freaks and crap.
Then there was Valerie, who admitted her own idol was Mariah Carey. Uh-oh. Anyway, Val was all breath and technique and had no real voice of her own. Simon said she sounded like Mariah Carey after the CD had been left out in the sun for a year. Randy said it was a terrible audition but that beneath all the technique, there was actually some tone. The best part? Valerie realized that she would be in the “rejects” portion of the show. You got that right!
This was followed by a duo of some dude wearing a sombrero, and a mime. The gimmicks are getting old, even by “Idol” standards. After that was Christopher and Monique, a couple that thought they were the real deal, and who both tried to sing Whitney Houston songs. Monique was all vibrato and Christopher, well, he couldn’t hit the side of a barn from the inside with his tone.
Day 2 started with Blake, who has auditioned a total of ten times in five seasons. His mom, Leslie, is obsessed with “American Idol” and her dream is for Blake to win. But first he has to get past this round. Well, his version of “Stand By Me” wasn’t bad, but not quite good enough.
Then we had Alberto, a gay Hispanic flowerchild. Do I even have to say how this went? Alberto sang his own song, “Live,” and Simon said it was the most depressing thing he’d ever heard. Yep, pretty much.
Okay, now on to the good auditions…..
Tatiana Ostopovich started things out, with “Someone To Watch Over Me,” and it was really good…full of soul, and she’s cute. Tatiana advanced, but really, is the next American Idol going to have a name like that? I don’t think so.
Perrie was next, and as Simon said, had a “good voice.” Perrie was followed by this Australian native, Michael, who sang an Otis Redding song. This dude was really great, and I think has a chance to reach the final 12, or at least the final 24.
20-year-old Samantha and her sister thought Simon was hot, and naturally Mr. Cowell ate this up. The sister got to sit on Simon’s lap and help with the audition process, and I really expected this girl to suck. But she didn’t, and Randy saying she was “excellent” is no exxageration. But with the sis going to Hollywood, her and Samantha will have to fight over Simon.
16-year-old David Archuleta had some kind of vocal cord problem a few years ago, but has recovered nicely and sang John Mayer’s “Waiting On the World To Change,” which was really impressive. Watch out for this kid.
Finally, there was Carly Smithson, who came over to the States from Ireland a few years back, and wowed the judges when she auditioned in Season 5. But she had visa problems that forced her disqualification. So she and her husband, who owns a tattoo shop and whose face is basically a tattoo, tried again this time. Carly sang “I’m Every Woman,” and though she was really nervous, delivered the goods again. Keep an eye on her too, she could reach the finals if she calms her own nerves.
31 contestants from San Diego advanced, and tonight we go to South Carolina. See ya tomorrow, y’all.
