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The Opie and Anthony virus

So Howard Stern is having his last day on regular radio today and have a parade and all that great crap. Big deal. For those not in the know, and well you should be, the real entertainment value on satellite radio is on XM. “Shock jocks” Opie and Anthony have been kicking out the jams for over a year now over on the XM network (they’ve had an illustrious radio history pre-XM as well, which you can read about on their site). Their show is hilarious, and has the feeling of hanging out with a few of your best pals and having a good time. Howard Stern, on the other hand, has ceased to be funny for years now, and all this media hype is all for nothing. Sirius has lagged behind in the satellite radio biz since its inception, and there’s no way this is going to make that much difference, especially when they have to foot a $500 million invoice for Hoo-Hoo.

The other day on O&A, Anthony said it best. Strippers on the radio stink like shit on ice. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been channel surfing and every time I’ve gone by Howard’s show on E! he’s had another stupid bimbo talking about her tits and wanting to know if she’s hot enough to be a centerfold for Playboy. Who the hell cares? Howard’s only other shtick is to talk about his lack of penis length and oh boy, isn’t that side splitting comedy right there? Hardly. His crew are a drag, his guests are never interesting, and having the big idea to weigh some guy on the show’s bowel movement is about as retarded as any radio – satellite or regular – as it can get.

So if you need to make a decision, go with O&A. Li’l Jimmy Norton’s there, Stalker Patti, Big A, Rich Vos, Bill Burr, Patrice O’Neal, and plenty of others that have the funniest four hours of radio on the planet. And if that’s not enough, you also get Ron and Fez on right after ’em. God bless XM. God bless O&A. Howie can keep on measuring his penis and other peoples’ crap and try to come up with half a billion dollars’ worth of funny. This dude’s allegiance lies where it’s at, however.

It’s An Indie World

With Sony/BMG and Warner Bros. recently getting hit with payola lawsuits, more music being purchased digitally, and more new artists becoming hip to the fact that they can survive on their own without “borrowing” money from a major label, the music industry is becoming more indie than ever. Distribution companies such as Redeye are allowing independent artists and indie labels the option of using channels that were previously reserved for the majors. And artists are able to sell their own CD’s online and digitally, as well as through traditional touring….and realizing that they can make and KEEP all or most of the proceeds. No more concern about getting dropped or about the spending the next five years paying a major label all the recoupable expense associated with breaking a new band.

And when the war against payola reaches the radio programmers, it could be the end of FM radio as we know it. Which begs the question: will anyone care? I know I won’t. And once again the best artists are the ones who will get noticed.

Another Starship turd

It’s great to have VH1 Classic and be able to see all the truly awful videos that were made in the ’80s. Take, for example, the clip for Starship’s “Laying It On The Line,” won’t you? If the video for “We Built This City” was bad, then this one is truly craptastic. In it, the band tries to look topical once again by having images of exploding atom bombs superimposed over their faces. Some big, fat greasy dude with a beard and dressed in a helmet that says “US Support” or “UN Support” or something like that and walking around in camo has a bumnch of soldiers on a chain leash in a jungle. They shoot rocket launchers and other weapons. Lead singer Mickey Thomas cavorts around in his gay moustache while also dressed in a helmet with ’80s spandex bimbos clinging to his arms. Grace Slick tries to convince herself she’s still a viable entity in the band. She has weird uber-fashion makeup smeared across her eyes. There are shots of dudes on ATVs riding around. It’s totally awesome.

In the meantime, there’s also plenty of room for the token guitar solo shot with a shrederrific jagged guitar on full display. Mix this all together with some “on stage” shots, and you have one hell of a video. I don’t know what was going on, but I know it was supposed to be Big. If one thing is clear after watching this video, it’s that the cocaine ’80s sure were some goofy times when it came to video storyboards. I did a little search on Starship, and I notice that Mickey Thomas’ website is named “Starship Featuring Mickey Thomas.” Yep, those county fair circuit days are calling, Mick.

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