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Deep Cuts: The Beatles

Assembling a list of deep cuts from the Beatles is one of the grandest exercises in futility that we’ve ever attempted. Is there anyone who doesn’t know all of these songs? Consider the following:

• The Beatles had 47 Top 40 hits in a six-and-a-half year period. The Stones, by comparison, racked up 41 Top 40 singles, but needed 25 years to do it.

• Those 47 Top 40 hits do not include any of the following songs: “Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown),” “In My Life,” “If I Fell,” “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away,” “Drive My Car,” “Taxman,” “Here, There and Everywhere,” “I Should Have Known Better,” “Michelle,” “You’re Going to Lose That Girl,” “Here Comes the Sun,” “I Am the Walrus,” or a single track from either Sgt. Pepper or the White Album (except “Revolution,” which was re-recorded and issued as the B-side to “Hey Jude”).

Add all of those tracks up, and that means there are just over 100 Beatles songs that are instantly stricken from the record. One hundred songs. Ye gods. Is there even anything left to assemble a decent list of deep cuts?

Yes. We’re going to cheat here and there, using lesser known Sgt. Pepper and White Album tracks, different versions of well known songs, and perhaps a B-side or two that charted back in the day. The key for us is that for a song to count as a Deep Cut, it could not have been on either the “Red” (1962-1966) or “Blue” (1967-1970) compilations, and even then, we ruled out certain songs – and even suites of songs, like “Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End” – because of their ubiquitous presence on the rock radio of our youths.

Beatles scholars will likely yawn at my suggestions – after all, for the really curious, there are scores of Beatles bootlegs out there that plumb far greater depths than this – but in the interest of saving the time and money of our dear readers, we’ll stick to the official Parlophone and Capitol-endorsed releases to assemble our list. Trust us; there are still scores of songs from which to choose.

Full disclosure: there will be a noticeable bias to this list, in that we have not included anything prior to A Hard Day’s Night. As wildly successful as the Beatles were in those early years, they were still a far cry from the band that they would become a mere two to three years later. A Hard Day’s Night is the first Beatles album with all original compositions, so it seemed like a good place to start.

“Tell Me Why” – A Hard Day’s Night
Simply put, it’s the Beatles paying tribute to Martha and the Vandellas. There’s a strong “Heat Wave” vibe to the intro, and you get the first sense of the complex harmonies the band would come up with time after time in the years to come. It’s very telling that this and “If I Fell” were started and completed on the same day.

“Baby’s in Black” – Beatles for Sale
As my colleague Will Harris observed, “Baby’s in Black” might be the first mope rock song ever written. When John sings, “She thinks of him, and so she dresses in black / And though he’ll never come back, she’s dressed in black,” suddenly songs like the Smiths’ “Unlovable” (“I wear black on the outside, ‘cause black is how I feel on the inside”) and Depeche Mode’s “Dressed in Black” make a lot more sense.

“I’ve Just Seen a Face” – Help!
Pearl Jam fans will know this one, as it’s been a set list staple of theirs for years now. This folk and bluegrass-based track may be Paul’s answer to John’s “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away,” a Dylan-esque track with a rapid fire vocal and a lie-lie-lie-lie-la-lie singalong that Simon & Garfunkel would steal a few years later for “The Boxer.” Interesting note: Paul recorded this song, the rockin’ B-side “I’m Down,” and “Yesterday,” the mother of all ballads, on the same day. Laugh at him all you want for “Ebony and Ivory,” but back in the day, Macca had mad, mad skills. And speaking of that rockin’ B-side…

See the rest of the list here.

Best of the ‘90s, a second look: The singles

Before I had the awesome job of writing for ESDM, Premium Hollywood and Bullz-Eye, I ran Dizzy Heights, which was effectively an email list. A guy I know named Brian helped build a web site for me, but after a while I let it fall into complete disarray. I can’t even find my own site anymore. (Seriously, I tried finding it on Google, and it doesn’t come up.)

At the turn of the last decade/century, I decided to assemble lists – because that’s what I do, make lists – of my favorite albums and singles of the ‘90s. In order to spread the love around, I tried to limit certain albums to either the Singles list or the Albums list. There are exceptions to this, obviously, but I didn’t want both lists to be mirror images of each other.

In retrospect, this decision resulted in some highly questionable selections.

Top 20 Singles of the Decade
20) “We Let the Stars Go,” Prefab Sprout (1990).

Oh, dear. I still love Jordan: The Comeback, but there is just no excuse for this.
19) “Female of the Species,” Space (1997).
This still gets regular play Chez Chauffeur, but wait until you see the list of songs I left off the list to make room for this one. You’ll want to slap me.
18) “Water from a Vine Leaf,” William Orbit (1993).
Ugh. What in the hell…
17) “Creep,” Radiohead (1993).
At last, one that doesn’t totally embarrass me.
16) “April Fools,” Rufus Wainwright (1998).
I still love this song, but my obsession with Wainwright, I hate to say, is waning. Enough with the show tunes already. Get back to writing pop songs, you big girl.
15) “Been Caught Stealing,” Jane’s Addiction (1990).
One of the coolest things at my wedding was when we played this. “I’ve been caught stealing, once” – everyone holds up a finger – “when I was five” – everyone holds up five fingers. It’s the little things in life.
14) “Enjoy the Silence,” Depeche Mode (1990).
The dude from Linkin Park recently remixed this (and did a mighty fine job, I might add), and all I could think was, “If Linkin wrote songs this good, I might actually like them.” As it is, they don’t, so I don’t. Now if only Depeche Mode themselves could write songs this good anymore.
13) “Driving,” Everything but the Girl (1990)
I loves me my Tracey Thorn. The first half of the ‘90s was a rather emotionally turbulent one, meaning that Everything but the Girl was very much the soundtrack of my life. I don’t miss those days, though I miss Everything but the Girl. Come back, guys, please.
12) “Block Rockin’ Beats,” The Chemical Brothers (1997)
Boom shacka lacka lacka lacka. With the Chemicals, once again you know it’s on.
11) “Unfinished Sympathy,” Massive Attack (1991)
I love Mezzanine and all, but Massive Attack will never again make anything as good as this.
10) “Setting Sun,” The Chemical Brothers (1996).
When they talked about dance music being the new rock & roll, this is what they meant. Pity that whole “new rock” thing began and ended with this song.
9) “The Rockafeller Skank,” Fatboy Slim (1998).
Fuck. I’m an idiot.
8) “Paranoid Android,” Radiohead (1997).
I read that some people did a study by playing Radiohead songs to a group children and asking them to draw. Everything the kids made said “SAD SAD SAD.”
7) “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” Propellerheads (1997).
I really, really miss these guys.
6) “Song 2,” Blur (1997).
Come back, Graham. The band needs you more than they’ll ever admit.
5) “Connection,” Elastica (1995).
Why is it that only the good bands make two records and break up? Pssst, Linkin Park: here’s your chance. Go out while people still give a damn about you. Please?
4) “Common People,” Pulp (1995).
Good enough for William Shatner, good enough for you.
3) “White Lines,” Duran Duran (1995).
Should have put “Ordinary World” here, like I originally planned.
2) “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Nirvana (1991).
15 years on, and I still crank the ever loving shit out of this song whenever it comes on.
1) “Cowboys and Angels,” George Michael (1990).
Betcha didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Back to that whole slapping-me-silly part. Here are the songs I left off the list to make room for Prefab Sprout, Space, and William freaking Orbit:

“Bitter Sweet Symphony,” The Verve
“There She Goes,” The La’s
“Getting Away With It,” Electronic
“Laid,” James
“Step On,” Happy Mondays
“Soon,” My Bloody Valentine
“Papua New Guinea,” Future Sound of London
“In Yer Face,” 808 State
“Linger,” The Cranberries
“Frozen,” Madonna
“Black Hole Sun,” Soundgarden
“Battersea,” Hooverphonic
“Me and My Big Ideas,” Tears for Fears
“Constant Craving,” kd lang
“The Emperor’s New Clothes,” Sinead O’Connor
“Geek Stink Breath,” Green Day
“Something’s Always Wrong,” Toad The Wet Sprocket
“Killing In The Name,” Rage Against The Machine

Like I said, I’m an idiot.

Coming soon: Albums of the ‘90s. Nowhere near as embarrassing as my Singles list, though I should be chained and tortured for my #2 album.

American Idol: The Finalists Revealed

After a grueling period where the remaining 44 “American Idol” contestants had to fly solo in front of the judges, they all had to wait a few days before sitting in a room and being called in one by one to learn their fate. Only 24 spots would be open to the finalists, the ones who are going to let America’s voters determine their fate.

There were definitely some surprises, such as the lispy 16 year old kid, Kevin, from Long Island. I mean, this kid is not that great of a singer–how does he keep on advancing? Rebecca and Heather both look better than they sing, but that always seems to count for something, especially with Mr. Cowell. Mrs. Marley said they both look like strippers and I would agree but I have never been to a strip club (yeah, I don’t believe me either).

Early on, they showed a lot of the contestants that were learning bad news, but the first one that they showed who advanced was Katharine McPhee, a spunky chick with a really good voice who definitely deserved it. But the funniest part of the show was when she expressed her appreciation by kissing each judge, ON THE LIPS. Ewwww. Okay, maybe her kissing only Paula would be pretty hot.

Some of the other finalists included Ace, the dude who looks like Scott Stapp but sure doesn’t sing like him or act like him in public; Lisa Tucker, who is only 16 but has a monster voice and was an early Marley choice to make it far; David, the crooner, and I have no idea how he made it; Paris Bennett, another favorite of mine who should easily go far; Mandisa, who forgave Simon for saying she’d need a bigger stage, then got the good news that she would get a chance to sing in front of America….well deserved I might add, she is awesome; and Brenna, the annoying girl who Simon somehow liked despite saying she had a horrible attitude…..I have one word for you: Ratings; there was also Taylor Hicks, the harmonica-toting gray-haired southern boy who Simon doesn’t get, but trust me, America will and he deserves to be here.

There were also quite a few that advanced that we didn’t see auditions of at all before this. That’s proof that there is just way too much Ryan Seacrest on this show and not enough meat and potatoes.

Finally, I’m sure most of you noticed for the first 50 minutes of the show that Darrell and Terrell, the Jackass Twins, were absent. We all read in the papers that they had been arrested on forgery and theft charges, but we didn’t know at what point during the taping of “American Idol” it was until they mentioned it . As it turns out, these self-described “model citizens” were nothing but jackasses, and criminals at that.

So we’re down to 12 guys and 12 girls……the real “American Idol” starts here. Are you guys ready to start voting?

Madonna had a hernia

Madonna had a hernia but is fully recovering from it. Remember back in the good old days when Madge would get in the news by being bawdy and naughty? Nowadays she’s in it because her husband sticks her into a shitty movie, or because she’s falling off horses, or just plain getting old. Oh yeah, there’s also the Kabbalah stuff, and not living in the US, and not letting her kids watch TV because of all the horrible stuff on it (like mommy getting sexy in all her old videos), etc. I stopped buying her albums after Erotica. After that she ceased to interest me. Physically and musically.

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