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And speaking of white rappers…

May 2, 2006 /

…VH-1 has decided to act like they care about music again…except it’s like they peeked into my brain and asked, “How can we focus on music and yet still create a show that the Mayor of Simpleton wouldn’t watch if you paid him?”

Ta-da.

That’s right, if you think you’re the next Eminem…or, more likely the next K-Fed…you can click here and enter yourself into the running to be picked for the network’s new reality show. Top prize is $100,000.

First rule of thumb: don’t suck.

Second rule of thumb: don’t trust your judgement, your family’s judgement, or the judgement of anyone who even halfway likes you already, because they’ll tell you don’t suck, even if you really do…and we’re pretty sure you really do.

Last rule of thumb: unfortunately, even if you’re a white rapper who sucks to the extreme, in the end, it really doesn’t matter, because you could still go multi-platinum.

News, Rap

K-Fed continues to talk without actually saying anything

May 2, 2006 /

Kevin Federline…a.k.a. your friend and mine, the one and only K-Fed…is offering the ludicrous claim that his wife, Britney Spears, is supportive of his music career…which kind of flies in the face of the well-documented fact that she totally blew off his album release party, even though she was staying in the hotel where it took place.

(Note: possibly not the actual album cover.)

“My wife loves what I do,” sed Fed. “She is so for everything that I’m doing right now. That’s the biggest thing for me, too, because if she wasn’t supportive of it, I’d probably give it up.”

Moments later, Fed announced his retirement from the music industry.

Artists, News

From beyond the grave, his gravely voice sings again…

May 2, 2006 /

Producer Rick Rubin has put the finishes touches on the late Johnny Cash’s final album, American V.

Appropriately for an American institution, the album will be released on the 4th of July; it will feature the work Cash did in the short time between his wife June Carter Cash’s passing and his own death.

“Johnny said that recording was his main reason for being alive,” said Rubin, in an interview with Billboard Magazine. “And I think it was the only thing that kept him going, the only thing he had to look forward to.”

The collection, in addition to featuring covers of Gordon Lightfoot’s “If You Could Read My Mind” and Bruce Springsteen’s “Further On (Up The Road),” will include the last song ever written by Cash: a train song called “Like the 309.”

If July 4th seems too far away, take solace in the face that, on May 23rd, Columbia/Legacy will be releasing Personal Life, a heretofore-unreleased collection of tracks Cash recorded in the ’70s which stylistically resemble the work he would later come to do with Rubin.

Artists, Country, News

This just in from the Blueberry Hill Beacon:

May 1, 2006 /

Fats Domino, the ’50s-era R&B pianist who received a major career boost in the ’70s thanks to Richie Cunningham but had a hell of a time as a result of hurricane Katrina, is returning to the stage to help his fellow New Orleans musicians.

Domino, who’s been kind of a recluse for the past several years, is scheduled tonight to sign copies of his new album, Alive and Kickin’, the proceeds of which will go to the Tipitina Foundation. Following that, he’ll be playing at the Foundation’s 5th Annual “Instruments A-Comin'” benefit concert. (The organization, by the way, served to help find housing and instruments for local New Orleans musicians following the hurricane.)

Domino will continue his comeback on Sunday, as one of the closing acts at the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival, alongside Paul Simon, Lionel Richie, and others.

Artists, News, Pop

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