Well here it is, kids. The moment you’ve all been waiting for. That’s right, K-Fed made his big “debut” on the Teen Choice Awards, and the video is below for your viewing pleasure. Be ready for the best in entertainment! A preggers Britney introducing the Fed! The Fedmeister brutalizing a grand piano just to squeeze out two lousy chords! The token backup rapper shouting “Yeah!” every other goddamn second! Hate to tell ya, K, but if this is the legit shit you’ve been waiting to serve up to us, you’ll be lucky to ever entertain a crowd as big as this one again. Poor Dane Cook…hopefully he’ll turn this hosting experience into some comedy gold.
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You probably haven’t heard of the band Isis. If you have, congrats, because this story is about them. You see, Isis will be opening for Tool and the band members don’t give a damn if the crowd doesn’t like them. All right, so who the hell is Isis? Well, it’s a metal group! And since you probably don’t know about ’em, front dude Aaron Turner has this to say:
“There’s…a good chance a lot of [the audience members] won’t even be there and will be finding their seats as we’re finishing up our set. In one way, we’re really excited about it, but in another way, we’re realistic about it too.”
How realistic you ask? Glad you asked!
“Tool are definitely the biggest band we’ve ever toured with, but I don’t feel like it’s ultimately going to change things for us that much.”
Well, there’s some good old optimism for ya! Good luck to you, members of Isis. May you be happy with your predicted non-success!
Indeed, he did. But that’s not goint to stop Paul Stanley from releasing his second solo album entitled Live To Win this October 24. Will it be better than his 1978 solo debut? Well, let Paul take it from here:
“It’s not 1978 anymore,” Stanley told Billboard.com of the album last November. “It’s certainly the same mentality, and certainly I’m a better singer today. My perspective and where I’m at in my life at this point, and what I’ve experienced and seen, brings something else to the table that wasn’t there then. But I still look back on that album as a really great snapshot of who I was and what I was doing then.”
So basically it’s going to be another party record. Yay, Paul.
Sweet Jesus. Madonna’s cameltoe has its own MySpace page.
I worried that Madge would have me killed for reporting this bit of “news,” until I saw that Madonna is friends with her cameltoe on MySpace. But hey, for as much as she exploits her body, it’s only fair that her body exploits her back.
The fine folks at RememberTheEighties.com have sent out another newsletter. Here are a few news bites:
* DEPECHE MODE are to release a new single in October. The track ‘Martyr For Love’ was recorded as part of the sessions for the band’s recent ‘Playing The Angel’ album but was left off the album because it was ‘too upbeat’ for the rest of the album. The single is expected to precede yet another Depeche Mode best-of collection. (Yeah, because we really need another Depeche Mode best-of.)
* NIK KERSHAW’s forthcoming album will be called You’ve Got To Laugh. The twelve-track collection will be released independently by Kershaw and although no release date has been set it is hoped that the album will see the light of day in the next few months.
* SIMPLE MINDS’ ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ is to be immortalised in a forthcoming documentary of the same name focusing on film director John Hughes’ coming-of-age teen movies from the eighties – including “The Breakfast Club,” “Pretty in Pink,” “Ferris Buller’s Day Off,” “Weird Science” and “Sixteen Candles.” Simple Minds are to be filmed for the documentary which will also feature interviews with Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson, Kelly Le Brock (“Weird Science”), Mia Sara and Alan Ruck (“Ferris Buller’s Day Off”) along with more interviews still to be scheduled.
And, lastly, an announcement which may lead to a duel between The Chauffeur and yours truly:
DEPECHE MODE, THE SMITHS, JAPAN and ERASURE are among artists featured on a new interactive DVD music quiz from Q Magazine. ‘The Essential Music Quiz’ will be released on November 27th after being launched at the annual Q Awards on October 30th. The quiz features audio and video snippets from over a hundred bands across the history of music and also includes material from ART OF NOISE, BRONSKI BEAT, SIMPLY RED, DEAD OR ALIVE and ADAM AND THE ANTS among many others.
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