Category: Country (Page 24 of 33)

Last night “American Idol” gave me a gift. They gave me an hour of my life, since the show was only one hour long instead of the agonizing two hours as it was both nights last week. What’s more, I get another one-hour episode tonight. I mean, that’s a whole hour to eat, sleep, watch something else, or practice being me.

And since the auditions were held in San Diego, the contestants heading to Hollywood would have to only drive a few hours north for the next round. Okay, on with those auditions, and we’ll start with the freaks again:

Some dude named Marat was wearing a puffy white shirt, ala Jerry Seinfeld in the “I don’t wanna be a pirate” episode. He was awful, and since the show was just one hour, they followed that up with a medley of freaks and crap.

Then there was Valerie, who admitted her own idol was Mariah Carey. Uh-oh. Anyway, Val was all breath and technique and had no real voice of her own. Simon said she sounded like Mariah Carey after the CD had been left out in the sun for a year. Randy said it was a terrible audition but that beneath all the technique, there was actually some tone. The best part? Valerie realized that she would be in the “rejects” portion of the show. You got that right!

This was followed by a duo of some dude wearing a sombrero, and a mime. The gimmicks Continue reading »

Last night’s “American Idol” featured primary auditions from Dallas, Texas. And the show had to harp on the fact that this is where they found Kelly Clarkson six years ago..and I mean, they HARPED on it. Back away from yourselves Idol, we all know your impact on pop music and that you suck us all in to watch these first episodes of frogs and princesses.

With that, here are the frogs and princesses from last night:

Paul Stafford, a park attendant who they showed picking up trash at work, looked like a real-life Dilbert, and he sang just like you would expect him to. Next.

Beth, a singing waitress who was borderline obsessed with Kelly Clarkson, was not as good as you would expect. Simon commented that he couldn’t understand a word Beth was singing, and I completely agree.

Then there was Bruce, who admitted that he, at 19, has never kissed a girl. What’s more, he had some stupid key on a necklace because he’s waiting for the perfect woman to unlock her heart. That sound you just heard is every eligible woman in America running the other way. Still, Bruce sang “Ain’t No Sunshine” and wasn’t all that bad, but not good enough.

There was a student from Austin Continue reading »