Category: American Idol (Page 13 of 31)

American Idol Loses Its Legs

I’m not referring to the show losing viewers or voters, but last night “American Idol” lost the sexy legs of Haley Scarnato. Before we get to the results, I’m going to bore you with an hour of crap the way Fox did….

First, there was a horrid Latin group performance of an Enrique Iglesias song that I won’t even attempt to spell. Sanjaya even screwed up the words which was pretty awesome.

Then, Ryan Seacrest interviewed a bunch of the shows’ fans outside a farmer’s market. Wow, they are really stretching, aren’t they?

Then there was a performance from Akon, who must have heard everyone wondering aloud why he was on the same stage as Gwen Stefani a few weeks ago. Turns out dude CAN sing. He wasn’t too bad, and it was fun to watch his DJ guy with the Sanjaya hair style.

Then they showed footage of Simon Cowell in Africa again, and in one of the funniest moments the show has ever seen, some African kid drew a picture of Simon with man boobs. Now, THAT is good television.

Then they did some spoof with Tony Bennett where the judges treated the old man like a real contestant. That was pretty dumb and self-indulgent for the AI producers.

Finally, each contestant was asked to stand as Ryan announced who was in the bottom 3. Phil Stacey was the first into the lower tier, then Lakisha, Jordin and Melinda were all declared safe. Haley was also sent to the bottom 3, leaving Blake, Sanjaya and Chris. Blake and Sanjaya were safe, leaving Chris to enter the bottom 3 and America to wonder just how long it has to endure Sanjaya. Top 4? Top 3? Top 2? Gasp.

Then Jennifer Lopez sang some song in Spanish that I have never heard, but she looked and sounded awesome as usual. But before that, Chris Richardson was sent back to the pack, leaving Phil and Haley. No surprises so far, right?

Finally, it came down to the verdict, and it was Phil that was safe. Dude seemed as surprised as anyone in the theater. So it was Haley and her legs, which were hidden tonight but covered in painted-on pants. But it was her time to go home, and America definitely got it right. Next week it will likely be Phil, and then it’s going to get real interesting.

Till next week…..

American Idol Tries To Go Latino

Tonight’s “American Idol” Elite 8 show featured Jennifer Lopez and the contestants all singing Latino songs. Not surprisingly, most of this very un-Latin bunch chose songs by pop artists Gloria Estefan and Carlos Santana. Also not surprisingly, the level of performances was not very good. It was almost like the best performance was a 7 out of 10 and everything else filtered down from there. Here we go with the recap:

THE GOOD

Did you notice there was no “VERY GOOD” category this week? That’s because there were no very good performances, not even from the always flawless Melinda Doolittle. Tonight Melinda came crashing down to earth, but still she was far from horrible. She sang “Sway” and Randy said it wasn’t her best but was solid. Paula said Melinda was sultry and subtle, and Simon said he didn’t like it and that it lacked personality. He added that he had been waiting to offer some criticism to Melinda for weeks and he didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

Chris Richardson sang the Santana hit “Smooth” which was originally sang by another white pop singer, Rob Thomas. Chris actually did well with this, but if you think about it, it really was a good song choice for him. Randy said it was very cool, Paula said it was a “hot” performance and that Chris was sexy (uh-oh, Paula’s got the googly eyes again), and Simon said it was the best vocal of the night to that point (Chris went third). Let’s also give props to that guitar player from the band. I mean, holy crap….what mad skills.

Jordin Sparks sang “The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” and while there were some karaoke moments, it was really pretty good overall. Randy said the performance was great and had the “yo” factor, Paula said it was authentic and that Jordin looked adorable, and Simon said it was just “okay” and that the performances were not getting better as the evening progressed.

Blake Lewis sang Marc Anthony’s “I Need To Know,” and I’m not sure if he did it to impress Anthony’s wife or not. But it was definitely a good song choice for Blake. What wasn’t a good choice was that hat he came out wearing. Blake could easily have been performing at a South Florida retirement community wearing that hat (Del Boca Vista?). Anyway, he sang really well and he’s in no danger of being eliminated. Randy said it was the best song choice of the night, Paula said Blake captured the essence of the song, and Simon said it was the best song choice AND best performance of the night.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Lakisha Jones sang “Conga” and it was pretty much disjointed from the start. There were too many syllables and too much movement in the song for Lakisha to keep up with it. Still, it wasn’t awful. Randy said she was having fun and that it was “hot,” Paula disagreed and thought it was a safe performance, and Simon agreed with Paula. He added that Lakisha appeared to have fun but he’s not sure the rest of America had fun watching it. Well said, Cowell.

Phil Stacey sang another Santana song, “Maria Maria.” I thought it was decent but there were a few moments when Phil’s voice cracked and that might spell doom for him. Randy said it wasn’t Phil’s best and he didn’t connect with the song, Paula said she thought it was a real good vocal, and Simon said Phil is a nice guy who chose a good song but it lacked originality.

Sanjaya is not even in the bottom group tonight, because he really had one of his better performances. I mean, dude is the only contestant who could pass for a Latino and he chose a good song, “Besame Mucho,” as well. Randy said it was really good, Paula said Sanjaya was on pitch and smooth, and Simon, though he admitted he couldn’t understand a word and that Sanjaya sang like a 14-year-old, said that the performance “wasn’t horrible.” We already knew we’d see more of Sanjaya and I think he just guaranteed himself another week.

THE BAD

Haley has been hanging by a thread for weeks, and she didn’t help her cause tonight. Well, with her outfit, she did try. Once again those legs were putting on a show of their own, and once again Haley’s voice didn’t match them. She sang “Turn The Beat Around” and it was all-around pretty freaking weird.
Randy said it was “really karaoke,” Paula said Haley looked like she had fun, and Simon said that Haley keeps wearing little clothing every week to hide her vocal skills, which aren’t as good as the other remaining women. Yeah, what he said. I mean, if Haley doesn’t go home this week I’ll be extremely surprised.

So your bottom 3 America……Haley, Phil and Lakisha. Sanjaya will once again rise above to safety. And if it’s not Haley, it will definitely be Phil. But either way both of them are next to go.

Tomorrow we have an hour long show, and it’ll be worth watching just to see how they fill up that much time for a results show. Me? I’ll be drinking beer at a hockey game. That’s what TiVo is for.
Until then, Adios Amigos. Oh, and Dirty Sanchez too.

American Idol: Bye Bye Tongue Ring

Last night’s “American Idol” results show had a few surprises and a few not-so-surprises. There wasn’t a ton of fluff…thankfully no group performance other than the stupid Ford commercial that gets more ridiculous every week.

Then before the special guest performance, Ryan Seacrest divided the remaining 9 contestants into three groups–the top 3, middle 3, and bottom 3. The first group was Blake, Chris and Sanjaya and we all knew this was the middle 3. But Seacrest went on to the other groups first. The next one was Haley, Gina and Phil, and there had to be no doubt in anyone’s mind what group this was. Finally, he went to the power trio of Jordina, Melinda and Lakisha and declared them safe and the top 3. Well, duh. Then Blake, Chris and Sanjaya were also sent back to safety, and unfortunately that means Sanjaya was no lower than sixth in overall voting. People, you are scaring me with this kid!

Then, instead of Tony Bennett performing (he had the flu), we were treated to Michael Buble….I’ve never seen or heard this guy but he is really a great singer. I could have done without the Antonella Barba comments and banter with Seacrest, but sometimes the producers of AI are looking for any angle whatsoever.

After the break, Phil was sent back to safety, and I have to say that my wife’s five votes may have saved him. Though I still wasn’t offended by the bottom 2 America chose (other than the fact that Sanjaya SHOULD ALWAYS BE THERE).

So it was down to Haley’s legs (and they were once again in full view) and Gina and her tongue ring. Gina was tearfully sent on her way and for a moment, all was right with the world. It was definitely time. Haley and Phil will be going next, no question about it…and hopefully Sanjaya will soon follow because this charade has reached epic proportions.

The Elite 8 looks like this:

Melinda, Lakisha, Jordin, Blake, Chris, Sanjaya, Haley, Phil.

And if Melinda isn’t your choice to win it all, you should really have your ears checked. See you next week….

American Idol: Worlds Collide

When I say worlds collide, I’m talking about the legendary Tony Bennett meeting up with the way-full-of-himself Sanjaya. I’m also talking about the “universe” of Sanjaya colliding with Simon Cowell’s universe, but more on that later.

With Bennett coaching the remaining nine contestants on “American Idol” last night, the song choices were all standards–a difficult genre on paper, but most of them came to play. Here is how it went down:

THE REALLY GOOD

I’m not sure if I’ve said this yet, and I know I’ve been pimping Melinda Doolittle from the outset. But last night she proved that she may be the best contestant this show has ever seen. Seriously, have you ever seen anyone bring it week after week like Melinda? She is everyone else’s best week, every week.
And the judges agree as Melinda’s “I Got Rhythm” drew rave reviews as usual. Randy said she gives everyone else a “lesson,” Paula said that lesson is a “master class,” and Simon said the first half was cabaret, but that the second half was great, and that he finds it really hard to criticize anything Melinda does. Well Simon, you need to stop trying.

THE GOOD

Jordin Sparks sang “On a Clear Day” and she was damn near good enough to be put in Melinda’s class, but not quite. This girl gets better every week and is going to be an American sweetheart before this is said and done. Randy said Jordin brought some “heat” and was “the bomb,” Paula said she will sail through to the next round, and Simon said that while Jordin sang well, she didn’t make the song “current” the same way Chris Richardson did just before her. Whatever, Simon. Stop looking for flaws in this girl, too.

Blake Lewis kicked off the night with “Mac the Knife,” and came out in a suit….a long way from the beatboxing kid we’ve come to know. Anyway, he was pretty damn good, and he’s definitely got what it takes to stay on for a few more weeks. Randy said it was the perfect song choice though pitchy at times, Paula said Blake has pizazz and is “cool,” (read: Paula wants to jump this kid), and Simon said it was a good song choice but only a 7 out of 10.

Chris Richardson sang “Mr. Saturday Dance,” but as mentioned earlier did a very hip version of the song, which earned him style points with the judges. Randy said it was Chris’ best performance, Paula said the fact that Chris made the song current showed artistic integrity, and Simon also said it was Chris’ best performance and one of the strongest of the night.

Lakisha Jones closed the night with “Stormy Weather” and she was awesome. Randy said it was the perfect song choice, Paula said she looked gorgeous, and Simon said Lakisha was “back on form” and that she was sassy and great. I completely agree. The only thing is, she did this “Ain’t No Sunshine When He’s Gone” thing at the end of the song, something Tony Bennett advised her against. Bennett wanted her to just hold out the big note, but still it didn’t hurt anyone.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Gina Glocksen sang “Smile” and while she was pretty good doing something that should have been way out of her comfort zone, I just couldn’t get past this fact: Here is a rocker chick with a tongue ring singing a classic ballad on a stool. It just didn’t look right and was extremely distracting. Not to mention just a tad boring. Randy said it was nice and in control, Paula said it was flawless (that is the booze talking), and Simon said he couldn’t rave about Gina when he saw Melinda and Jordin sing before her. Amen to that.

Haley sang “Ain’t Misbehavin'” and her legs were not only in full view again, but her dress was loose enough to let her boobs hang out just a little. Haley is no dummy, that’s for sure. And it actually was one of her better performances, maybe enough to earn her another week. Randy said he would defer to Paula, who deferred to Simon. That was pretty funny. Simon answered with “Haley, you’ve got great legs.” Simon, have you been reading my blog? He then added that it was good style but a bit like a pageant performance. Whatever, I think Haley is safe.

THE BAD

Phil Stacey sang “Night and Day” and while he wasn’t really bad, he was really bad compared to everyone else. And he has so much trouble staying on pitch in lower registers. Randy said the song was a good choice but that there was no passion, Paula said Phil was like a young Frank Sinatra but that he needed to show more joy, and Simon said to Paula, “Which Sinatra?” He then added that Phil’s performance had all the joy of a funeral, and that it was oddly gloomy and dark. Folks, this guy is going home tonight.

Sanjaya was actually not as bad as usual, and came out with a semi-normal hairstyle. He sang “Cheek To Cheek” and was annoying but had one of his better vocals, for him. Randy said that Sanjaya is turning into quite an entertainer, Paula said she’s starting to get why America keeps voting for him because he’s charming, and Simon said “Let’s try a different tactic this week: INCREDIBLE” and it was clearly sarcastic. But Sanjaya didn’t see the sarcasm and replied “Welcome to the universe of Sanjaya!” Um, kid, threre is no room in the universe for anyone else’s ego now, because yours is off the charts. You should have gone home weeks ago, but instead America is forcing us to endure this stupid charade. And I’m going to be pissed if you knock out someone like Jordin or Lakisha along your stupid journey.

Okay, so there you have it. My bottom three: Phil, Gina, and Sanjaya. Or possibly Haley. Should be going home, definitely Sanjaya. Will be going home, definitely Phil Stacey. We’ll find out tonight, and see you tomorrow with the results….

American Idol: Bye Bye Curly

Well, I can’t say I didn’t warn you. Yes, we’re going to have another week of Sanjaya on “American Idol.” And I’m fearful that we may have 7 or 8 more weeks of this idiot. No, seriously, I’m really afraid of that. Aren’t you?

The show started with Ryan Seacrest wearing a Sanjaya faux-hawk wig, and he predictably looked ridiculous. Then after the recap of the previous night, it was right to business. Blake and Lakisha were safe, and Phil was sent to the bottom 3. This surprised me because Phil kicked ass on Tuesday, but that’s America for you. Melinda, Chris Richardson and Sanjaya were then declared safe, while Haley was sent to the bottom 3 (deservedly). Jordin was safe, which meant the last member of the basement would be either Gina or Chris Sligh.

I knew what was coming, but first a performance by Gwen Stefani and hip-hop artist Akon, who she will be touring with. Did anyone notice that all Akon did was hoot and holler a couple of times, prance around the stage with his Fruit of the Looms in full view, and just kind of get in the way? But hey, it was a nice performance by Gwen, who is always entertaining.

Back to business. Phil Stacey was sent back to the pack, leaving Haley and Sligh. The judges were asked who they thought would go home, and while Randy and Paula typically backpedaled, Simon was blunt and said “I think it’s bye bye Curly.” Naturally, he, and I, were right. Whew. I was starting to think I didn’t understand the American voters. But I do know that one lousy performance at this stage is poison, and it was for Chris. For Haley, her day is coming soon, legs or not. And for Sanjaya, well, I’m going to use a Simon phrase again: “If people like you, good luck.”

So we’re down to 9….I’m nervously envisioning a finale of Melinda and Sanjaya. People, we have to start banding together on this, because too many wiseguys and crying teenagers are keeping Sanjaya going. He’s not just on life support, he is thriving.

We still have a long way to go, so hang on….Farley, OUT

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