When I say worlds collide, I’m talking about the legendary Tony Bennett meeting up with the way-full-of-himself Sanjaya. I’m also talking about the “universe” of Sanjaya colliding with Simon Cowell’s universe, but more on that later.
With Bennett coaching the remaining nine contestants on “American Idol” last night, the song choices were all standards–a difficult genre on paper, but most of them came to play. Here is how it went down:
THE REALLY GOOD
I’m not sure if I’ve said this yet, and I know I’ve been pimping Melinda Doolittle from the outset. But last night she proved that she may be the best contestant this show has ever seen. Seriously, have you ever seen anyone bring it week after week like Melinda? She is everyone else’s best week, every week.
And the judges agree as Melinda’s “I Got Rhythm” drew rave reviews as usual. Randy said she gives everyone else a “lesson,” Paula said that lesson is a “master class,” and Simon said the first half was cabaret, but that the second half was great, and that he finds it really hard to criticize anything Melinda does. Well Simon, you need to stop trying.
THE GOOD
Jordin Sparks sang “On a Clear Day” and she was damn near good enough to be put in Melinda’s class, but not quite. This girl gets better every week and is going to be an American sweetheart before this is said and done. Randy said Jordin brought some “heat” and was “the bomb,” Paula said she will sail through to the next round, and Simon said that while Jordin sang well, she didn’t make the song “current” the same way Chris Richardson did just before her. Whatever, Simon. Stop looking for flaws in this girl, too.
Blake Lewis kicked off the night with “Mac the Knife,” and came out in a suit….a long way from the beatboxing kid we’ve come to know. Anyway, he was pretty damn good, and he’s definitely got what it takes to stay on for a few more weeks. Randy said it was the perfect song choice though pitchy at times, Paula said Blake has pizazz and is “cool,” (read: Paula wants to jump this kid), and Simon said it was a good song choice but only a 7 out of 10.
Chris Richardson sang “Mr. Saturday Dance,” but as mentioned earlier did a very hip version of the song, which earned him style points with the judges. Randy said it was Chris’ best performance, Paula said the fact that Chris made the song current showed artistic integrity, and Simon also said it was Chris’ best performance and one of the strongest of the night.
Lakisha Jones closed the night with “Stormy Weather” and she was awesome. Randy said it was the perfect song choice, Paula said she looked gorgeous, and Simon said Lakisha was “back on form” and that she was sassy and great. I completely agree. The only thing is, she did this “Ain’t No Sunshine When He’s Gone” thing at the end of the song, something Tony Bennett advised her against. Bennett wanted her to just hold out the big note, but still it didn’t hurt anyone.
THE IN-BETWEEN
Gina Glocksen sang “Smile” and while she was pretty good doing something that should have been way out of her comfort zone, I just couldn’t get past this fact: Here is a rocker chick with a tongue ring singing a classic ballad on a stool. It just didn’t look right and was extremely distracting. Not to mention just a tad boring. Randy said it was nice and in control, Paula said it was flawless (that is the booze talking), and Simon said he couldn’t rave about Gina when he saw Melinda and Jordin sing before her. Amen to that.
Haley sang “Ain’t Misbehavin'” and her legs were not only in full view again, but her dress was loose enough to let her boobs hang out just a little. Haley is no dummy, that’s for sure. And it actually was one of her better performances, maybe enough to earn her another week. Randy said he would defer to Paula, who deferred to Simon. That was pretty funny. Simon answered with “Haley, you’ve got great legs.” Simon, have you been reading my blog? He then added that it was good style but a bit like a pageant performance. Whatever, I think Haley is safe.
THE BAD
Phil Stacey sang “Night and Day” and while he wasn’t really bad, he was really bad compared to everyone else. And he has so much trouble staying on pitch in lower registers. Randy said the song was a good choice but that there was no passion, Paula said Phil was like a young Frank Sinatra but that he needed to show more joy, and Simon said to Paula, “Which Sinatra?” He then added that Phil’s performance had all the joy of a funeral, and that it was oddly gloomy and dark. Folks, this guy is going home tonight.
Sanjaya was actually not as bad as usual, and came out with a semi-normal hairstyle. He sang “Cheek To Cheek” and was annoying but had one of his better vocals, for him. Randy said that Sanjaya is turning into quite an entertainer, Paula said she’s starting to get why America keeps voting for him because he’s charming, and Simon said “Let’s try a different tactic this week: INCREDIBLE” and it was clearly sarcastic. But Sanjaya didn’t see the sarcasm and replied “Welcome to the universe of Sanjaya!” Um, kid, threre is no room in the universe for anyone else’s ego now, because yours is off the charts. You should have gone home weeks ago, but instead America is forcing us to endure this stupid charade. And I’m going to be pissed if you knock out someone like Jordin or Lakisha along your stupid journey.
Okay, so there you have it. My bottom three: Phil, Gina, and Sanjaya. Or possibly Haley. Should be going home, definitely Sanjaya. Will be going home, definitely Phil Stacey. We’ll find out tonight, and see you tomorrow with the results….
