Author: Deb Medsker (Page 12 of 14)

Chuck Klosterman: Rock stars aren’t sellouts

Chuck Klosterman, acclaimed Spin magazine critic and author of such bestsellers as “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low-Culture Manifesto,” has written an elegant defense of the use of rock songs in advertising. “If I can’t avoid occasionally being told to buy shoes,” he says, “I would much rather have the commercial involve rock music.”

He makes an excellent point. Before you rush to call your favorite band a sellout for showing up in that Nike commercial, remember that it could be a lot worse. They could have used polka music in that ad instead. Or, you know, something far more sinister, like that one Ween song that is undoubtedly responsible for nearly all of the domestic violence, terminal illness, and bad hair days that plague our great nation.

Hindsight, thy name is Dunkleman

Poking his head up out of the hole in the ground in which he’s been living for the past four years, original “American Idol” co-host (and frequent Entertainment Weekly Hot Sheet whipping boy) Brian Dunkleman admitted recently that walking away from the ratings Goliath might not have been the most savvy career move in history.

Gosh, ya think?!

Dunkleman goes on to stress that it was his own decision to leave the show (i.e., he says he wasn’t fired, though that seems to be the conventional wisdom), and that he aspired to be a performer, rather than someone who merely introduced other performers. Still, his skin must go just a wee bit green every time he hears Ryan Seacrest on the radio, sees Ryan’s giant grinning mug on LA-area billboards, tunes in to E! or New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, or goes shopping for outrageously metrosexual fashions at Nordstrom.

On the bright side, with the new, older age limit for American Idol, there might just be room for Dunkleman on next year’s show…if he starts practicing his “I Will Survive” cover tomorrow, and puts in a groveling phone call to Seacrest to reserve a spot in the auditions.

“Dammit, Jann, we are NOT holding the party in your pants!”

Rolling Stone editor-in-chief Jann Wenner has fired his magazine’s publisher after a spat about where to hold an upcoming party celebrating the publication’s 1,000th issue. Publisher Steve DeLuca was understandably upset when, after securing advertising commitments based on a Rockefeller Center location, the swank affair was moved to the cachet-challenged Hammerstein Ballroom.

Upon explaining to Wenner that the venue change might cause upstanding sponsors like Clearasil, Southern Comfort and Marlboro to take their already-declining ad dollars elsewhere, DeLuca was shown the door. Associate Publisher Ray Chelstowski has stepped in to fill DeLuca’s shoes in the interim, but the twenty-year publishing veteran will presumably be permanently replaced by a nineteen-year-old contestant from Wenner’s new reality show.

The money saved on DeLuca’s salary will then be spent overpaying for exclusive stories and photos of increasingly irrelevant aging classic rock stars, buxom yet mediocre songstresses, and future Wenner flings.

Oprah invades last remaining Oprah-free media zone

Continuing her quest for world domination, benevolent billionaire media tyrant Oprah Winfrey has signed a $55 million deal to produce a new satellite channel for XM Radio. Since Her Oprahness will undoubtedly be far too busy managing her TV shows, book club, magazine, web site, and Broadway play to produce much actual satellite radio content herself, the channel will rely on the Oprah JV Squad (e.g., interior designer Nate Berkus, diet guru Bob Greene) for the majority of its programming.

However, Oprah has not ruled out the possibility of an on-air smackdown in which she and Dr. Phil gang up on XM bad boys Opie and Anthony to demand that the young upstarts clean up their act, put some clothes on the ladies, and start giving back to society.

Desperately seeking Lucille

80-year-old blues legend B.B. King lost his young dog, Lucille, when she was in the care of King’s manager, Matthew Lieberman, who apparently left a gate ajar. To encourage the safe return of Lucille the dog, King is offering one of his signature “Lucille” guitars, complete with autograph, as a reward. King is also presumably looking for a new manager with adequate gate-keeping skills, but is not offering a reward for that position.

Meanwhile, alleged dog molester Natasha Lyonne said that she had not seen King’s small, white, perky, extremely affectionate young Maltese.

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