Last night’s episode of “American Idol” had the remaining five contestants performing two songs each — one from the year in which they were born, and a current song from the Billboard charts. What was somewhat frightening about this was realizing that Katharine was born in 1984, and Paris in 1988. Nineteen Eighty Eight! Holy crap.

Lucky for all of us, the fact that there were ten performances and one hour to fill left less room for Ryan Seacrest and his stupid banter. So let’s go straight to the performances, broken down by contestant this week to make things easier.

ELLIOT YAMIN

Elliot was born in 1978 and started out with George Benson’s “On Broadway.” It was pretty solid and let’s face it, we all know Elliot can sing really well. Simon thought it was “disjointed,” but Randy and Paula liked it and I agreed with them. Elliot later sang Michael Buble’s “Home,” and with lyrics about going home, I was sitting there thinking of the implications. Dude, why would you choose that song? The karma can’t be good. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who thought so, because Simon also made reference to it. Even worse was that his performance of the song was a bit mediocre, and mediocre is not a good thing at this stage. Even worse than that was when Ryan called Elliot, “Yamin the Machine.” That is so bad I am literally at a loss for words….on to Paris….

PARIS BENNETT

Paris started things off with Prince’s “Kiss,” from 1988. But wait a minute. That song was released in 1986, wasn’t it? Well, yes, but Tom Jones and The Art of Noise also released the song two years later.
Randy, my dawg, surely you knew that? Anyway, it was a straight ahead performance, nothing earth shattering. Simon went further, saying it was “screechy and annoying.” Later Paris took on Mary J. Blige’s “Be With You,” and did a pretty good job of it. But as is the case at this stage, B-plus isn’t going to be good enough. Paris is definitely in danger of going home.

CHRIS DAUGHTRY

Chris was born in 1979 and started out with Styx’s “Renegade.” Suffice to say if and when Chris gets a record deal, he should record that song. It was just a perfect choice for him and Simon declared it to be a million times better than the first two performers of the night. Chris chose Shinedown’s “I Dare You” as his hit of today. Um, calling that song a “hit” may be a stretch….at least to me and Randy Jackson, who said he was bored by the song. Simon made reference to the fact that Chris was struggling a bit vocally with the second song, but that his first peformance was good enough to keep him in the running. I agree completely.

KATHARINE McPHEE

This much is certain — Katharine is a hottie with movie star good looks. But she butchered Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds” so bad that those looks might not save her this time. Simon said it was “in parts a mess,” and I disagree. The whole song was a mess! Anyway, Katharine redeemed herself in a huge way with her version of KT Tunstall’s “Black Horse And the Cherry Tree.” It was hands down the best performance of the second half of the show, and probably good enough to keep Katharine around at least one more week, maybe two.

TAYLOR HICKS

The gray haired wonder started off with Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music” from 1976. Simon thought it was like a wedding band performance, but I have to say this: Taylor has so much fun with this that you can’t not like the guy. And he really does sing his ass off. But he made a curious decision by singing the Beatles’ “Something” as his song from today’s charts…..that song is on the “catalog” charts or something like that, so it’s a huge stretch. Dude should have sang The Fray’s “Cable Car”….but to make matters worse, it was a mediocre performance. Regardless, America loves this dude and in my mind he is still the favorite to go all the way.

So there you have it. Let’s recap, shall we? Chris Daughtry was pretty solid, America loves Taylor Hicks and he was fun to watch, and Katharine McPhee’s second song was good enough to keep her around. Ladies and gentleman, that is going to be your top 3. Paris and Elliot continue to deliver B-plus or A-minus performances consistently enough, that there is no question they will both be heading home this week and next. I’m not sure what order that will be in, but that’s my prediction.

See you tomorrow when the final four comes into focus.

Marley, OUT.