Wow, is “American Idol” really only a few weeks away from the big finale? With six remaining contestants, the answer is a resounding YES. And we’re at that point in the season where the little things become more noticeable.

For one, Paula has a serious drinking problem. Anyone who saw her tear up after Elliott sang last night knows what I mean. Simon was even laughing, adding insult to the pathethic caricature that Paula has become. Secondly, Ryan Seacrest gets more annoying every week. He doesn’t have to do anything, because his act has just gotten tired. Dude, stop busting on Cowell….he brings way more to the ratings party than you ever will.

Okay, now it’s on to the competition. The contestants took on some great love songs last night, and had a little help from the legendary vocalist Andrea Bocelli and his producer, David Foster. More than anything, everyone really got some good advice from two very respected industry vets. But how would they fare live? Let’s check it out….

THE GOOD

I’m going to start with the really good, and that would be Chris Daughtry. Dude took on one of the most limp wristed songs of all time, “Have You Ever Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams. This song was from that limp-wristed movie, “Don Juan Demarco,” or something like that. But Chris’ performance was anything but limp-wristed. This dude can belt it out and make a wussy song have balls. Kudos bro, you are certainly in no danger of being kicked off this week.

Katharine McPhee sang Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing” and while the judges were lukewarm about it, I thought it was amazing. It really makes me wonder sometimes what the judges are watching…..yes, there is not another Whitney Houston and therefore Katharine took a big gamble, but come on…that was almost as good as the original. Of course, Katharine did her part to earn the male vote with a glorious display of cleavage.

Elliott Yamin sang “A Song For You” and this dude just continues to hang in there for one reason: he can sing like a mother. Not a mother in the true sense, but you know what I mean. Randy didn’t like the arrangement, which was kind of funny because David Foster made sure to chop up the song and make it different than the original. But even after Simon laughed at Paula’s water works, he admitted that Elliott’s vocal was “master class” material.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Paris Bennett took on Barbara Streisand’s “The Way We Were” and it was far from awful, but still nothing more than a B-plus compared to everyone else. Paula said Paris oversang it a bit, and there is some truth to that…wow, did I just agree with Paula Abdul? Lock me up. Anyway, there was a bit of fake something going on that I can’t pinpoint. Paris can sing her ass off, but still you don’t want less than a stellar performance at this stage.

Taylor Hicks is still my boy, but he’s in danger of getting kicked off after last night’s mediocre rendition of James Ingram’s “Just Once.” Come on dude, we know you can do better than that. Randy said it was the wrong song, Simon said Taylor looked “tight” up there, and that’s pretty much it. A good vocal, but it was boring as hell.

THE BAD

Kellie Pickler sang “Unchained Melody” and it was her second horrible performance in a row. Too bad for Kellie she doesn’t have Ace Young or Bucky Covington around anymore, because now her weaknesses are being exposed in a big way. Randy said there were pitch problems and that is being kind. If Kellie sticks around after this week, I’m convinced this thing is somehow rigged.

So let’s recap….Chris and Elliott are definitely safe. Katharine was great, but the fact that the judges didn’t like her performance puts her in danger of being in the bottom 3. Taylor is such a fan favorite but he also could be bottom 3 material this week…..Paris likely will be there and if Kellie isn’t, well then, see previous paragraph.

Also, let this be said…..we have to watch Andrea Bocelli sing tonight. I mean, dude has a great voice, but watching clips of him singing last night was kind of putting me to sleep. Am I alone in this thinking? In addition, David Foster might be a top-notch producer, but if he was my producer, I definitely would wind up decking him. I mean, calm down dude.

And Ryan….the more of Simon and the less of you, the better. Give the dude time to give his input before cueing the commercials.

Okay, i’m jumping off this soapbox now….see you all tomorrow.

Marley, OUT.