Rivers Cuomo: Alone II: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo

Someone in a popular men’s print magazine recently said something horrible about the latest Weezer album, something to the effect of, “If Rivers Cuomo burned down a hospital, it wouldn’t be the worst thing he did in 2008.” As harsh as that may sound, that critic probably hadn’t heard Cuomo’s latest batch of home recordings, sharply titled Alone II: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo. Cuomo is one of those songwriters that you might call prolific, and he’s been known to literally use computer formulas to create those songs. The problem is that whatever formulas he’s using are not very good, and if his “best” stuff is being released on the Weezer albums, why would anyone want to hear this schlock? Okay, it’s not all schlock – tracks like “I Was Scared” and “My Brain Is Working Overtime” sound like classic Weezer. But that’s two tracks out of 19. Everything else ranges from bad to downright painful, especially “Please Remember” and “Can’t Stop Partying,” on which Cuomo’s raw, pitchy vocals effectively marry nails and chalkboard. And he sounds like a whiny emo kid from 1999 on “My Day is Coming.” So before we all start hating Weezer, whether we were fans of the band before, let’s hope Mr. Cuomo goes on a long vacation, or does something else newsworthy so we can forget about these awful home recordings. He doesn’t have to burn down a hospital, but robbing a hot dog cart wouldn’t be a bad idea. (DGC Records/Interscope)

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