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Pagans need not apply…angry mom alert!

December 19, 2005 / Captain Capm

I just saw a commercial on TV for Worship Jamz, in which kids down with the Lord get to boogie their butts off to hot contempo inspirational tunes. I’d like to point out here that Rock and Roll in all of its various genres is the debbil’s music and the debbil’s music only. Any good God-fearing parent knows this as they persuade their kids to not be all wild and free as they once were in their freaky baby boomer generation. Trade in those doobies for some pop scripture, kids! Not since “Put Your Hand in the Hand” was a righteous hit has there been such an awesome movement of RAWK embracing the cross.

However, the moms and children who bought this disc over on Amazon.com are seriously upset! Why, this isn’t the two-disc set being sold on TV! It only has EIGHTEEN songs instead of THIRTY! Shame on them! No “Above All”? You gotta be kidding me! Oh well, at least it still has “(You Are The) Awesome God” (dude). Damn those Amazon charlatans for releasing the debbil’s version of Worship Jamz! This is almost as terrible as when there were two versions of The Smurfs’ All-Star Show album back in the ’80s. The girl next door to me had the version released by Sessions. i had the far groovier K-Tel version with MORE SONGS plus a POSTER! And guess which one was sold on TV? That’s right! The Sessions version!!! Damn thee, debbil!

CD Reviews, News, Songs

Okay, you can write…but are you hot?

December 19, 2005 / Deb Medsker

Jann Wenner will follow in the footsteps of Donald Trump and (shudder) Martha Stewart with a new series for MTV in which Rolling Stone will give internships to several budding music journalists, who will then compete for a long-term contract with the magazine.

According to Wenner Media CMO Gary Armstrong, producers are seeking college students who are “telegenic, have an interesting personality and are interested in music journalism.”

Wenner insists that he will be taking a back-seat role in the show–unlike Herr Trump and the Domestic Diva–and that there will be no group housing or hot tubs to facilitate carousing among the contestants. No, these good-looking twentysomethings will demonstrate their interesting personalities by…sitting in front of a computer typing all day. A riveting television formula, to be sure.

“[I’m] not interested in hookups,” Mr. Wenner explained. He then had to excuse himself, as he had Mick Jagger waiting in his office.

News

The Click Five does Tommy James? No! LIES!

December 18, 2005 / Will Harris

Apparently, when the Click Five CD was originally released, it contained a cover of Tommy James and the Shondells’ “I Think We’re Alone Now.” Some of you kids may remember it as being a Tiffany song. At some point relatively quickly into the album’s release, it was reissued…with the Tommy James song replaced with a cover of the Thompson Twins’ “Lies,” which, frankly, kicks ass. So, basically, it was a good move. I’m just mystified as to why they would’ve considered the original cover choice in the first place; I know they’re unabashedly out to achieve fame, no matter what it takes (which explains why they took the opening spot on an Ashlee Simpson tour), but, really, given that there’s a generation who now believes it was an original song by the aforementioned redheaded ’80s teen queen, you’d think they would’ve realized that it would’ve hurt their credibility more than helped it…

Artists, Songs

Thank God I stopped believing Rolling Stone long ago

December 17, 2005 / Captain Capm

The dinosaur of rock mags has turned in its Top 50 Albums of 2005. Gee, what a shocker at #1. Yawn. So many of the choices are so…zzzzzz. What? Did I fall asleep? I’m sorry. Some of the picks are fine, but ……zzzzzz……hmm?! Oh! Must stop reading it so I can stay awake.

Lists, News

Paul McCartney: “We Got Married”

December 16, 2005 / Will Harris

Paul McCartney was coming off a bit of a rough patch in his career when, in 1989, he re-emerged with Flowers in the Dirt, an album which scored some of the best reviews of his career, in no small part due to the songwriting collaborations with Elvis Costello. One of the songs which required no assistance from ol’ Declan, however, proved to be the strongest on the disc: “We Got Married.” With scorching guitar work from Pink Floyd’s David Gilmour, the track’s lyrics are mostly just snappily-delivered couplets (“Going fast / Coming soon / We made love in the afternoon / Found a flat / After that / We got married”), but it features one of those lines so perfect that it makes you wish you’d written it:

It’s just as well love was all we ever wanted;
It was all we ever had.

It’s always struck me as strange that this song was never pushed to album-rock radio, particularly given the Gilmour guest spot, but, to my knowledge, it was never a single anywhere. Talk about your missed opportunities.

Artists, Deep Cuts, Rock, Songs