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American Idol: Dudes Night

Last night the dudes took to the stage in “American Idol” and, quite like the ladies on Tuesday night, there were a lot of mediocre performances. When the competition gets down to the final rounds, a mediocre showing or poor song choice can mean a ticket home, and that could definitely be the case for a few of last night’s performers.

Here is my recap of the good, the band and the in-between:

THE GOOD

There was really only one performance last night worthy of guaranteed advancement to the next round, and that was everyone’s favorite gray-haired boy, Taylor Hicks. Taylor sang the Doobie Brothers’ “Takin’ It To the Streets” and it was the perfect song for him because he’s got that whole Michael McDonald/Joe Cocker thing going on anyway. Simon said Taylor stood out last night and he definitely did.

THE IN-BETWEEN

If I could give out B-pluses, that’s what I’d give both Gedeon and Chris. Gedeon sang “When a Man Loves a Woman” and did a nice job with it. Randy Jackson called Gedeon an “old soul” because he’s like a throwback to the early Motown era, and Simon declared him interesting enough of a performer to continue on.

Chris sang Seether’s “Broken” and while he obviously has the best voice among the guys, he just turned in an effort that was not up to the bar he set last week.

Will Makar sang a James Taylor song and, while he has a nice voice too, just turned in a performance that makes you start looking around the room and decide if it’s time to paint the walls. That, and he seems to be cut from that Clay Aiken mold….strong voice, not raspy, wussy style. Not that it’s a bad thing to shoot for, but it just seems a bit tired to me.

Elliott “Abe Lincoln” sang Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” and while Paula and Randy loved it, I agreed completely with Simon, who said it was a “cop-out.” It was just safe, uninteresting and well below Elliott’s capabilities.

THE BAD

This is going to be hard for me because I wanted there to be two clear-cut favorites for elimination, but alas, there are three that could go home.

Lispy Kevin made a comment in his video piece that he’s a fan of Kanye West, then cut to the live action…..and dude sang Don McLean’s “Vincent.” Folks, there isn’t a more limp-wristed song ever written. Kevin has a nice enough voice, but he’s just not top 12 material.

Bucky sang a country song and I’m going to admit to not knowing what it was….it’s a good genre for the blond hillbilly but compared to some of the in-betweens, it was a forgettable performance.

Then there is Ace, who sang Michael Jackson’s “Butterflies.” You know what, scratch what I said about “Vincent.” This is the most limp-wristed song ever. And is it just me, or did Randy and Paula check their ears at the door? They both loved this dude’s performance, which went back and forth between falsetto and full voice but not without being all over the place. Bottom line: Ace sucked last night….Simon said parts were not great, but here’s hoping America saw what I did, and that’s that the whole performance was just awful.

So there you have it. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Bucky and Kevin will be going home, and that America will be stupid enough to agree with Randy and Paula about Ace. For the girls, look for Melissa McGhee to rejoin her friend Heather Cox at their, errr, day job at the Foxy Unicorn and for Kinnik Sky to also take a hike. It’s always fun to see how it shakes out….oh, and my man Bo Bice performs tonight and will show America that they made a mistake last season.

Marley, OUT.

“Weird Al” Yankovic: “Why Does This Always Happen To Me?”

Okay, now hear me out.

It’s easy to mock Al for his occasionally sophomoric and obvious parodies of popular songs…but the thing is, it’s only once in a blue moon that anyone ever hears his original songs. This particular track, which appears on 2003’s Poodle Hat, features backing vocals and piano from none other than Ben Folds…a favor Al returned when he provided background vocals on Songs For Silverman‘s “Time…could just about have fit in on an adult alternative station, so radio-friendly is it, with a chorus that – although he didn’t – Folds himself could’ve written. Yeah, the lyrics go a little over the top in the last verse, but, prior to that, it’s actually a pretty funny take on the self-obsessed:

I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report
About some devastating earthquake in Peru
There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive
On the Richter scale it measured 8.2

And I said, “God, please answer me one question?”
“Why’d they have to interrupt ‘The Simpsons’ just for this?”
What a drag, ’cause I was taping it and everything
And now I’ll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed

Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?

There’s also a song on the disc (“Genius in France”) that’s more or less a Frank Zappa stylistic tribute…but that’s a story for another day.

Get Set Go: “I Hate Everyone”

Poor George. He finally gets to sleep with Meredith and she starts bawling in the middle of it. It turns out she’s still hung up on Dr. McDreamy and really has no interest in good ol’ Georgie-boy. Fans of “Grey’s Anatomy” know exactly what I’m talking about, but you don’t have to watch the show to enjoy the music.

This song, from Get Set Go’s second album, Ordinary World, was playing during the scene where George sought help for his dislocated shoulder. It’s quite catchy and the lyrics are funny.

Hear the entire song here.

Christina’s better than you, or something like that

Don’t slop Christina Aguilera in with those current young stars! She’s better than them. Or so she claims, anyway. “I’m not naming names, but it’s more about the party scene with some of those girls than doing anything creative,” says Christina. Indeed. God knows how important it is to have her around being Serious and all and showing those younger starlets how an old lady like herself gets the work done. After all, Aguilera is already looking at the wheelchair years of a pop diva. What can she do to remain fresh and trampy? Only time will tell, along with whatever crappy hairdo and fashion statement she decides to unearth from the crypt next time she appears.

Welcome to the bungle

And the hot news keeps coming along! Our good old tardy boy Axl Rose is suing his ex-bandmates. Wow, and still no new music. Axl wants to make sure that Slash and Duff know that Rose has full ownership of all the jazz the band played so many years ago. Sadly, Rose does not have ownership of his own face, the original of which got hacked and chopped and sucked into a greasy plastic surgeon’s dumpster somewhere. In the meantime, all the old fans continue to kid themselves into thinking anyone will really give a damn about Chinese Democracy and that it will be released before they all turn geriatric.

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