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Clear Channel: “Wait, so now we need to NOT suck? I’m confused.”

April 21, 2006 / Deb Medsker

Turning an about-face on its longtime strategy of attempting to drown radio listeners in a sea of aggressively bland, soulless, identical radio stations, Clear Channel has finally discovered the niche audiences that were there all along.

As part of a new initiative to be announced next week, Clear Channel intends to lock horns with satellite radio, rolling out new niche channels with names like Dank (“Hip Hop and Rock all rolled up into one big spliff”), Full Metal Racket (“It’s dark, it’s edgy, it beats, and it rocks”), and Mother Trucker (“a hearty serving of the best Southern Rock”). Clear Channel will also be expanding its HD radio service to 50 cities, from its current base of 28.

Can this old dog learn enough tricks to persuade people to shell out $200 for an HD radio receiver instead of signing on for satellite radio? Can the American public forgive Clear Channel for its numerous transgressions against music fans all across the country?

Stay tuned to find out.

Radio, Satellite Radio

Worst, albums, ever

April 21, 2006 / David Medsker

Q Mazagine just unveiled their list of the 50 worst albums of all time. Here is a small sampling of some of the more notable entries:

50. Beck – Midnite Vultures (a little harsh, methinks)
46. Oasis – Standing on the Shoulders of Giants
28. Rolling Stones – Dirty Work
23. Alanis Morissette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
21. The Clash – Cut the Crap
15. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band soundtrack
13. Bruce Willis – The Return of Bruno
10. Tin Machine – Tin Machine II
4. Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music (Spotlight Kid will surely have something to say about this one.)
2. All of the Spice Girls solo albums (something that will surely have the Mayor of Simpleton in an uproar, since he loves his Mel C)

And the Worst Album of All Time?

Duran Duran – Thank You

And as a diehard Duran Duran fan, all I have to say is: Goddamn right. Save the cover of “White Lines,” the album was abysmal.

Lists, Rock

I’m drunk, I’m nobody. I’m drunk, I’m famous. I’m drunk, I’m in a Blondie video.

April 21, 2006 / David Medsker

Yes, VH-1 Classic played the overloving daylights out of this when they received it, but there’s a reason for that: it’s freaking sweet. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: “Rapture Riders,” the video.

Roth out, O&A in

April 20, 2006 / Captain Capm

David Lee Roth’s terrestrial radio show has been shitcanned and will be replaced by on-air gods Opie & Anthony. It’s a new move, considering O&A have an XM exclusive show, but now they will be sharing both the satellite and terrestrial airwaves. Can you dig it? I knew that you could.

News, Satellite Radio

The RIAA: Committed to higher education

April 20, 2006 / Deb Medsker

Demonstrating their typical level-headed, open-minded way of thinking, the Recording Industry Association of America has come up with a simple solution for college students unable to pay their fines for illegally downloading music: drop out of school.

Cassi Hunt, a 20-year-old physics major at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, for example, was told to get a job in order to pay her $3,750 fine or consider getting an emergency cash loan. When informed that Hunt already works three jobs and takes out significant student loans to cover her $42,000 annual educational costs, the RIAA recommended that she drop out of school to repay the debt, or transfer to a less expensive community college.

Yes, that sounds like a perfectly reasonable recommendation. The physics program at Worcester Community College is certain to be wicked awesome, and tech employers probably don’t place much value on a degree from MIT, anyway. Kudos to the RIAA for helping Cassi to find a solution that anyone with two or three brain cells to rub together would surely have overlooked.

News