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From “Straight Edge” to “So Far From The Edge Of Straight That You Can’t Even SEE Straight”

Rufus Wainwright – son of Loudon III, brother to Martha – has once again embraced his total and utter gayness (not that there’s anything wrong with that) by paying tribute to Judy Garland at Carnegie Hall…but, oh, what a tribute!

According to Playbill.com, “complete with a 40-piece orchestra, Wainwright recreates the original April 23, 1961, concert she performed at the height of her late career. ‘The greatest single night in show business,’ as it was called, featured Garland singing 26 standards, show stoppers and songs from her films. Wainwright performs his own interpretations of the songs — not mimicking Garland — over the same orchestrations.”

The number of show tunes performed by Wainwright over the course of the evening would make any straight man in the audience go gay before intermission, let alone the end of the night…and, yet, damn, as a Wainwright fan, I gotta say, I really hope they release a CD or DVD of the evening.

To counteract this post, I’m now going to go watch a John Wayne movie and embrace my heterosexuality.

To be Straight Edge…

Or not. I choose not, and I suggest you do the same. In the meantime, you can check out this straight edger’s site, filled with all the usual “we’re better than everyone else” philosphical bullshit just because they choose not to drink, drug, smoke, or have sex (plenty of MEAT IS MURDER banners on there). Yes, let’s embrace punk rock and hardcore and abstain from everything related to rock and roll itself. Makes sense to me! If you werelistening to that bland white bread Christian rawk bullshit, that is.

Ron Wood goes into rehab

It about time, too. Wood’s entered rehab for his boozing. He was on the wagon for a while – no really, he was – and just decided to fall off it again, it seems. part of his decision has been pointed at worrying about Keith Richards, who as you may recall was recently hospitalized for falling out of a tree, which required some pressure splitting from his skull. No word yet if any of this kind of fun shit will make good fodder for Mick Jagger’s forthcoming sitcom.

He’s got a blood disorder, kids

Oh that kooky Korn. They recently canceled a leg on their current tour thanks to Jonathan Davis having a blood disorder. Hey, the less Korn I have to hear, the better. Why is this band even still around? Haven’t all their fans completely grown up and moved on to actual rock and roll by now? Mmm, maybe when you groove to a band such as Korn you never really get to the actual rock and roll at any point in your life. Ah well, if thatisn’t the best display of SATANIC hand gestures in the article, I dunno what is. Thanks for mustering up the energy for that one, Davis.

In my heart of hearts, I know it would only be a disappointment…

…but, man, did I get just a little bit excited when I read that the surviving original members of the Beach Boys reunited for the first time in public since 1996 and Brian Wilson said there was a chance they might play together again.

The reason for the reunion was to celebrate the band’s 2003 collection, “Sounds of Summer: The Very Best of the Beach Boys,” going double-platinum, but, really, who cares why they came together? It’s just awesome seeing Brian W ilson, Al Jardine, Mike Love, and Bruce Johnston (not an original member, but certainly a name instantly associated with the band, given that he’s been with them since the ’60s) standing side by side again. David Marks, who filled in for Jardine for awhile during the ’60s, was also on hand, which was pretty cool for longtime fans.

Wilson’s been known to offer optimistic statements like this that have ended up going nowhere (anyone remember his talk about how he and Paul McCartney were doing an album together?), but, man, I sure would like to be able to say that I saw a Brian Wilson-led version of the Beach Boys before I die…or before they do, which is the more likely occurence, statistically speaking.

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