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Quickie review of “Gangsta Elijah”

What is it with white kids living in suburbia who want to be badass gangsta rappers? Well, here we have YouTube “director” Gangsta Elijah trying to look tough in his parents’ pad while rapping about how tough he is and how much ass he gets/ When he takes a soft tortilla and tears it in half, then takes a vicious bite out of it while threatening his hatas (that’s “haters” for you not versed in street lingo), there’s no coming back. Negative 50 stars out of five, Elijah. The dude has 14 videos to peruse, however. Watch and become bewildered. Enjoy “If you Step Up” for now.

George Michael to quit Britain

Well, that’s very big of you, George. Yes, the troubled singer recently stated that may leave Britain due to the constant attention focused on his recent and ongoing personal dilemmas. Of course, he could just take the advice to quit being a self-destructive shmuck who doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass what he’s doing in public anymore. Of course, that would mean admitting to having screwed up and we know how much he likes to do that.

Video Vault: Tracey Ullman, “Breakaway”

I really wanted to include the actual video for this song, since it was right next to Berlin’s “The Metro” in terms of the sexual awakening of this particular writer, but it appears that Tracey’s former label is playing hardball with YouTube and will not let them show any of her videos. I could go on for hours about how ridiculous that is, but people far more eloquent than I am have already done so. Read them instead, then come back to me when you’re jonesing for ’60s girl pop done ’80s style.

For anyone who wasn’t of a certain age when this album broke, you might be shocked to learn that Tracey Ullman was a smokin’ babe when her record You Broke My Heart in Seventeen Places came out. But a smokin’ babe she was, and you’ll have to “settle” for her with teased hair in a leather mini-skirt than in ’60s go-go gear. Call it a win-win.

Warning: this link may be dead seconds from now. Tracey’s label seems to be extra-vigilant about a record that’s been out of print for over two decades. Go figure.

Video Vault – Korgis

Beck completely crapped out his version of this song for the soundtrack for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, so here is “Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime” by the Korgis, who did it first and best. It was later resampled in 1992 by N.R.G. for their dance hit “I Need Your Lovin’.”

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