…well, if his plans are based on what he’s read here, maybe he should plan on ordering in.
Huh. And here I was convinced that Peter Straub had something to do with it…
Category: Rock (Page 227 of 241)
So now is when “American Idol” really starts to separate the real talent from the amateurs, and when America has the final say in who gets eliminated each week.
But first, a few random comments. The show is TWO hours long both Tuesday and Wednesday this week, with a third show on Thursday to announce the results. Last night, there was too much fluff…like these wannabe singers talking about how they got there and what the competition means to them blah blah blah…..just shut the hell up and sing! And speaking of fluff…..I am going to sound like a catty chick here, but what was up with Paula’s hair? It was sticking up in the front in such an annoying way, like maybe her rum and coke splattered up and made her hair all sticky. Anyway…..
So last night the 12 remaining females got to perform one song for America. Here were the best, in-between, and worst performances of the evening:
BEST
Nashville girl Mandisa got things started with “Never” by rockers Heart, and she did not disappoint. After Simon had previously made deragatory remarks about Mandisa’s weight, even he couldn’t deny her powerful vocal ability and predicted she would be a finalist. Hey, I’ve been saying that all along.
Paris Bennett sang Gladys Knight’s “Midnight Train to Georgia” and was awesome. She has the voice, the charisma, the whole package…and she’s only 17.
Lisa Tucker sang a Jennifer Holliday song and while it was pitchy in spots, she showed a maturity and ability beyond her 16 years…..I said SIXTEEN.
Katharine McPhee, the one who kissed all the judges on the lips when finding out she would move to the next round, did an old Barbara Streisand song and just blew everyone away. And for the record, she gets my vote as the cutest of the girl contestants.
IN BETWEEN
Among the mediocre, uninspiring performances were Becky O’Donohue, who sang Patti Smith’s “Because The Night”…and Simon hit the nail on the head by saying that the bar had been set by some really great singers already and that only great performances were going to matter. Becky was just boring……Ayla, the basketball player, was just uninspiring, but man, is she a giant…….Brenna, the big mouth Noo Yawka, was all over the place vocally and annoying as usual.
And then there were two contestants we’ve never seen, thanks to all the fluff this show has thrown at us….Melissa McGee and Kinnik. Kinnik was the better of the two, but Simon once again hit it on the head (Yes, Spike Marley usually agrees with the judge everyone hates) by saying that at 28 years old, Kinnik would have to step it up to compete with the Lisa Tuckers and Paris Bennetts of the competition.
THE BAD
Finally, here are my three picks for who should get eliminated….
Kelly Pickler, the cute blonde who has been a feel-good story so far (you all know by now her dad is in jail)……well, she sang a Martina McBride song and was all over the place. Lucky for her, in Nashville they have a thing in studios called “auto tune” because some producer is probably foaming at the mouth to make her sound good once she gets eliminated….and that day will be soon.
Stevie Scott…..the one with the opera training, decided to sing a Josh Groban song, and to quote Randy Jackson, was “soft and non-emotional.” I’ll take it one further. She just sucked.
Finally, there was Heather Cox….she’s one that proved Mrs. Marley’s theory that if you’re hot, you got in this year….surely the judges were not listening to her sing these past few weeks. She’ll be getting back to her career as a stripper very soon.
So there you have it……tonight we have the guys performing….and with that, a question. If the guys constituted Randy Jackson’s dawg pound last night, will the girls be woofing it up tonight?
and finally I leave you with one more thought….remember the dude on “Seinfeld” who was trying out to play the role of Kramer and stole the box of raisins? Look closely at the guys tonight and let me know which one of them IS that dude. Have fun with that, and see you tomorrow.
Marley, OUT.
Someone at CAKE Magazine summed up Cowboy Mouth better than I ever could, and I know that because their quote in the band’s press sheet appeared three quotes ahead of what I wrote about the band (Let me tell you, nothing is more surreal than seeing your own words on a band’s press sheet). CAKE said, “…on a bad night, they’ll tear the roof off the joint, and on a good night, they’ll save your soul.” Truer words were never spoken.
When a guy repping the band asked me if I wanted to chat with a member of Cowboy Mouth, you can imagine the different number of ways I tried to say, “Hell to the yes.” Here’s a sample of the conversation, which covered subjects from former members of the band, to Morrissey, to what appeared to be the worst touring partner they ever dealt with.
BE: Is the subject of “Joe Strummer” based on a true story?
FL: Yeah, the chorus is based on a true story. I was dating a woman who was, ahem, significantly younger than me. And Joe Strummer had passed away – and I had met him about five or six months before – when we played in Vegas. And I called her up, and I’m like, “Oh, my God.” She’s like, “Honey, what’s wrong?” I said, “Joe Strummer died.” There was this long pause on the phone: “Who was that?” At that moment, it ran through my head, “Oh, man, you’ve gotta go.” But the rest of the song is pretty much made up. Paul (Sanchez, rhythm guitarist) came up with the melody for the verse, Mary helped with the lyrics, and Mitch (Allen), our producer, helped with lyrics. It was an all-inclusive thing. But I always wanted to write a song called “Joe Strummer,” it’s just such a fucking great name.
BE: It has a certain rhythm to it, too.
FL: Exactly.
BE: And that’s one of the reasons I asked the question, because I wondered if it was actually about Joe Strummer, or if it was someone whose name didn’t roll off the tongue, like Mark Mothersbaugh or something.
FL: (laughs hard, starts singing melody to “Joe Strummer”) “Mark Mothersbaugh…” Ah, what’s the bridge? “She started talking ‘bout being my wife, but why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t know that Devo saved my life?” That doesn’t work.
You can read the rest of the interview here.
Before I had the awesome job of writing for ESDM, Premium Hollywood and Bullz-Eye, I ran Dizzy Heights, which was effectively an email list. A guy I know named Brian helped build a web site for me, but after a while I let it fall into complete disarray. I can’t even find my own site anymore. (Seriously, I tried finding it on Google, and it doesn’t come up.)
At the turn of the last decade/century, I decided to assemble lists – because that’s what I do, make lists – of my favorite albums and singles of the ‘90s. In order to spread the love around, I tried to limit certain albums to either the Singles list or the Albums list. There are exceptions to this, obviously, but I didn’t want both lists to be mirror images of each other.
In retrospect, this decision resulted in some highly questionable selections.
Top 20 Singles of the Decade
20) “We Let the Stars Go,” Prefab Sprout (1990).
Oh, dear. I still love Jordan: The Comeback, but there is just no excuse for this.
19) “Female of the Species,” Space (1997).
This still gets regular play Chez Chauffeur, but wait until you see the list of songs I left off the list to make room for this one. You’ll want to slap me.
18) “Water from a Vine Leaf,” William Orbit (1993).
Ugh. What in the hell…
17) “Creep,” Radiohead (1993).
At last, one that doesn’t totally embarrass me.
16) “April Fools,” Rufus Wainwright (1998).
I still love this song, but my obsession with Wainwright, I hate to say, is waning. Enough with the show tunes already. Get back to writing pop songs, you big girl.
15) “Been Caught Stealing,” Jane’s Addiction (1990).
One of the coolest things at my wedding was when we played this. “I’ve been caught stealing, once” – everyone holds up a finger – “when I was five” – everyone holds up five fingers. It’s the little things in life.
14) “Enjoy the Silence,” Depeche Mode (1990).
The dude from Linkin Park recently remixed this (and did a mighty fine job, I might add), and all I could think was, “If Linkin wrote songs this good, I might actually like them.” As it is, they don’t, so I don’t. Now if only Depeche Mode themselves could write songs this good anymore.
13) “Driving,” Everything but the Girl (1990)
I loves me my Tracey Thorn. The first half of the ‘90s was a rather emotionally turbulent one, meaning that Everything but the Girl was very much the soundtrack of my life. I don’t miss those days, though I miss Everything but the Girl. Come back, guys, please.
12) “Block Rockin’ Beats,” The Chemical Brothers (1997)
Boom shacka lacka lacka lacka. With the Chemicals, once again you know it’s on.
11) “Unfinished Sympathy,” Massive Attack (1991)
I love Mezzanine and all, but Massive Attack will never again make anything as good as this.
10) “Setting Sun,” The Chemical Brothers (1996).
When they talked about dance music being the new rock & roll, this is what they meant. Pity that whole “new rock” thing began and ended with this song.
9) “The Rockafeller Skank,” Fatboy Slim (1998).
Fuck. I’m an idiot.
8) “Paranoid Android,” Radiohead (1997).
I read that some people did a study by playing Radiohead songs to a group children and asking them to draw. Everything the kids made said “SAD SAD SAD.”
7) “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” Propellerheads (1997).
I really, really miss these guys.
6) “Song 2,” Blur (1997).
Come back, Graham. The band needs you more than they’ll ever admit.
5) “Connection,” Elastica (1995).
Why is it that only the good bands make two records and break up? Pssst, Linkin Park: here’s your chance. Go out while people still give a damn about you. Please?
4) “Common People,” Pulp (1995).
Good enough for William Shatner, good enough for you.
3) “White Lines,” Duran Duran (1995).
Should have put “Ordinary World” here, like I originally planned.
2) “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Nirvana (1991).
15 years on, and I still crank the ever loving shit out of this song whenever it comes on.
1) “Cowboys and Angels,” George Michael (1990).
Betcha didn’t see that one coming, did you?
Back to that whole slapping-me-silly part. Here are the songs I left off the list to make room for Prefab Sprout, Space, and William freaking Orbit:
“Bitter Sweet Symphony,” The Verve
“There She Goes,” The La’s
“Getting Away With It,” Electronic
“Laid,” James
“Step On,” Happy Mondays
“Soon,” My Bloody Valentine
“Papua New Guinea,” Future Sound of London
“In Yer Face,” 808 State
“Linger,” The Cranberries
“Frozen,” Madonna
“Black Hole Sun,” Soundgarden
“Battersea,” Hooverphonic
“Me and My Big Ideas,” Tears for Fears
“Constant Craving,” kd lang
“The Emperor’s New Clothes,” Sinead O’Connor
“Geek Stink Breath,” Green Day
“Something’s Always Wrong,” Toad The Wet Sprocket
“Killing In The Name,” Rage Against The Machine
Like I said, I’m an idiot.
Coming soon: Albums of the ‘90s. Nowhere near as embarrassing as my Singles list, though I should be chained and tortured for my #2 album.
After a grueling period where the remaining 44 “American Idol” contestants had to fly solo in front of the judges, they all had to wait a few days before sitting in a room and being called in one by one to learn their fate. Only 24 spots would be open to the finalists, the ones who are going to let America’s voters determine their fate.
There were definitely some surprises, such as the lispy 16 year old kid, Kevin, from Long Island. I mean, this kid is not that great of a singer–how does he keep on advancing? Rebecca and Heather both look better than they sing, but that always seems to count for something, especially with Mr. Cowell. Mrs. Marley said they both look like strippers and I would agree but I have never been to a strip club (yeah, I don’t believe me either).
Early on, they showed a lot of the contestants that were learning bad news, but the first one that they showed who advanced was Katharine McPhee, a spunky chick with a really good voice who definitely deserved it. But the funniest part of the show was when she expressed her appreciation by kissing each judge, ON THE LIPS. Ewwww. Okay, maybe her kissing only Paula would be pretty hot.
Some of the other finalists included Ace, the dude who looks like Scott Stapp but sure doesn’t sing like him or act like him in public; Lisa Tucker, who is only 16 but has a monster voice and was an early Marley choice to make it far; David, the crooner, and I have no idea how he made it; Paris Bennett, another favorite of mine who should easily go far; Mandisa, who forgave Simon for saying she’d need a bigger stage, then got the good news that she would get a chance to sing in front of America….well deserved I might add, she is awesome; and Brenna, the annoying girl who Simon somehow liked despite saying she had a horrible attitude…..I have one word for you: Ratings; there was also Taylor Hicks, the harmonica-toting gray-haired southern boy who Simon doesn’t get, but trust me, America will and he deserves to be here.
There were also quite a few that advanced that we didn’t see auditions of at all before this. That’s proof that there is just way too much Ryan Seacrest on this show and not enough meat and potatoes.
Finally, I’m sure most of you noticed for the first 50 minutes of the show that Darrell and Terrell, the Jackass Twins, were absent. We all read in the papers that they had been arrested on forgery and theft charges, but we didn’t know at what point during the taping of “American Idol” it was until they mentioned it . As it turns out, these self-described “model citizens” were nothing but jackasses, and criminals at that.
So we’re down to 12 guys and 12 girls……the real “American Idol” starts here. Are you guys ready to start voting?
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