No one was home however. A faulty lamp at the Osbournes’ English mansion cauzed a bit of a blaze, scorching one of the building’s rooms. No one was at home at the time when Satan arrived for his surprise visit. No word on whether or not the beloved maker of everything 666 will be recsheduling his holiday stay over with the sitcom actor.
Category: News (Page 80 of 136)
…it’s this picture:
Not to make light of a serious situation…no, really…but a 12-year-old boy has died in Lake Buena Vista Florida as a result of riding the Disney attraction, the Rock ‘N’ Rollercoaster. What’s oddly but seemingly carefully left out of the article – at least, as of this writing, it’s not mentioned – is that the FULL name of the ride is “The Rock ‘N’ Rollercoaster Starring Aerosmith.”
Granted, the ‘Smith have about as much responsibility for this poor kid’s death as Ozzy did for the suicides of the kids who killed themselves after listening to his music…but, then, Ozzy still got hauled into court. I wonder if someone was afraid they’d get sued if they even brought Aerosmith into the discussion…
…and you, my friend, are no Demi Moore.
Still, thanks for trying.
Okay, maybe it won’t the suckiest piece of suck that ever sucked, but this story leads me to suspect otherwise.
Instead of finding a band whose lead singer has died or even left the building with no intentions of returning, the big brains at CBS have created a band. It consists of…
Tommy Lee (Motley Crue) on drums.
Jason Newsted (Metallica) on bass.
Gilby Clarke (Guns ‘N’ Roses) on guitar.
I’m not saying that this trio of metal legends don’t rock hard individually. They might even rock hard individually. But this can only lead to the contestants vying to win the honor of fronting the band – called Supernova, by the way – performing really, really shitty covers of hard rock songs…and I just don’t have the stomach for that.
Unfortunately, I have this horrible feeling that middle America does…and that’s the unkindest cut of all.
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