Author: Captain Capm (Page 99 of 118)

Hurry, don’t fucking walk, and get your ass over to Kevin Federline’s MySpace page to download or listen to his exclusive new track. It’s “for the hatas,” as in everyone out there with a remote taste in music. He rhymes “humble” with “Bryant Gumbel.” Oh yeah, it’s that damn good. It also samples the riff from Thomas Dolby’s “She Blinded Me With Science,” thereby destroying that song for good. You know you wanna download this shit. It’s going staight on my iPod so I can laugh when my anti-depressants aren’t kicking in. Awww yeah boieee.

Ashlee Simpson will be surfing on a TV near you on the “Kelly Slater Celebrity Surf Invitational”. Is there anything Ashlee won’t do to remind us she’s still out there? Guess not, as she’s also recently done a photo spread and interview for “Jane” magazine. Sorry, babe, but no matter what you put on or take off, that nose is always going to arrive first. She also speaks on her apparent breakdown in Japan last december, noting that her stay in the hospital wasn’t what one might expect. “I didn’t go to a nice emergency room — I ended up in one with blood on the walls.” Damn, what a bitch it is to be Ashlee Simpson, getting treated like a commoner and all, and in an emergency room of all places, too!

Ah, big deal. Yes, The Smiths turned down a small chunk of change to get back together. Personally, I’m glad they didn’t do it as this is one band that I can definitely do without. Morrissey’s voice makes me instantly hulk out and smash things. However, I guess I won’t get to personally do that seeing as how they won’t be reforming and touring. Dammit. To finally just hit that guy really good once and for all would be worth an overpriced concert ticket. Oh yes, I want to be the thorn in weepy-boy’s side.