Author: Captain Capm (Page 92 of 118)

Kanye does Coachella

Not to be outdone by the middle aged Material Girl, opportunist Kanye West has decided to play Coachella as well this year. It’s sure to be a treat for all those Tool and Sigur Ros fans. Make no mistake. If you want your shit pimped out, you want Kanye to do it. Everyone knows the man’s turds are as golden as anything else he creates. It’s just too bad that our fave Scotty Stampp won’t be there. He coulda got up there with Depeche Mode and sung “Personal Jesus” with them. No matter. I’m sure West will be bucking to do just that as well.

Snoopy arrested

Snoop Dogg’s in trouble again. No, not for making another terrible straight to DVD flick, but for causing a row at Heathrow Airport when he wasn’t allowed in a first-class lounge. Snoopy hurled bottles of whiskey and argued with the staff to no avail. Apparently no one at Heathrow gives a shit for the Dogg. Rightly so, too. I mean, if he was in Right Said Fred, he would’ve gotten in no prob, I’m sure. But the UK ain’t down with the chronic pimp, yo,

Parton and Presley to push Tennessee

Boy, ever since Natalie Cole and her father sung and appeared in the video together for “Unforgettable” we’ve had to be punished with similar matchups from beyond the grave. Coming soon to a TV commercial near you: Dolly Parton and Elvis Presley hawking Tennessee. This is the first time The King has ever appeared in a commercial with another celeb. The same cannot be said for Parton, who’s shared the spotlight with countless folks throughout her career, as well all know (the best one undoubtedly being Sly Stallone in Rhinestone).

Look, if you want to know all about Tennessee and are thinking about going there, why not ask your average joe who lived there for 28 years, like myself? Glad you asked. Let’s see. There’s the overrated tourist trap Pigeon Forge. There are a slew of TVA dams and parks. There’s the “sunsphere” still standing in Knoxville, that retarded contraption that was built for the crappy 1982 World’s Fair (the theme was ENERGY, people). There’s that downhome feeling where mixed couples still aren’t looked upon in a positive light. There are tons of southern baptists that preach my way or the highway. There’s the boring Atomic Museum in good old Oak Ridge, home of the atom bomb. Oh yeah, there’s also Graceland and Dollywood as well. Oh, and Nash Vegas, of course, which used to be respectable but has seen fit to only crank out Hollywood country crapola for years now.

Hey, I liked the place when I was living there (not for any of the given reasons, natch), but once I got out, let’s just say, I got to see what I was missing. A whole lot. And now I live in Pittsburgh. Hmmm. Yeah, Pittsburgh’s tons better. Come see us here instead.

Leto’s still thinking you want to rock out to him

Jared Leto. Actor or musician? Who cares, I can’t stand him as either. Still he’s plowing forward with a new video from his band 30 Seconds To Mars. It’s apparently an homage to The Shining. Christ, not that borrowed idea again. Leto feels he can do some bragging, though, since his album’s sold a little over 130,000 copies.

“It’s nice to be seen as a legitimate example of how to do things the right way,” he said. “If the music is horrible, people won’t listen, but if it’s good some people will listen and will look beyond the stereotype.”

Ah, c’mon Jared, people are only listening for the novelty value, trust me. As far as the video is concerened,

The band is seen skateboarding through meandering hallways and performing at a 1920’s period ballroom party. When a member fails to stay away from a forbidden room, he is seduced by a ghostly apparition.

Eventually, the four musicians confront their alter egos as the video explores the idea of duplicity in a perhaps unintended parallel to Leto’s double career.

Let’s not get too deep here, people. It’s just a video that’s not even going to show up on Classic VH1 years from now.

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