Author: Captain Capm (Page 89 of 118)

The Smoking Gun is now featuring rider lists for all those actors turned wannabe musicians. Man, I had no idea Steven Seagal was in “The Steven Segal Band!” That’s just gotta rock harder than anything. Anyway, amongst the lists are the following:

Proof that Jared Leto really has no taste at all:
Two cases of Miller Lite in cans

Proof that Dennis Quaid’s is hopped up on goofball juice:
10 Red Bulls onstage
10 Red Bulls backstage

Proof Stevan Seagal likes to keep it clean after getting dirty:
1 bottle of mouthwash
2 boxes of tissues

Britney Spears admitted to David Letterman and the rest of the world that she’s knocked up again. This wouldn’t really be interesting news, if only for the fact that it means she continues to let K-Fed have sex with her and create more offspring. Why she does is anyone’s guess, as we know she’ll be dumping his ass as soon as he releases that giant turd of a debut album later this year. Still, K-Fed keeps dishing out the tracks, with his latest Internet giveaway being “America’s Most Hated” (“This marijuana’s got me heavily sedated / I’m Kevin Federline, America’s mosted hated”). Oh, K-Fed, you’re so delusional. Everyone knows Scott Stapp is America’s Most Hated and that you’re nothing more than a tick on Britney’s ass sucking out what little talent she has left.

Keith Richards had head surgery. Now, just calm down, everyone. After his recent fall from a tree, Keef was saying he felt OK, but soon he began complaining of headaches (Mick Jagger), so the doctors did a little surgery (sewed Mick’s lips shut) and relieved the pressure in Keef’s head. No word on whether or not this will actually make Richards’ stunning enunciations any easier to decipher, but at least he has yet another reason to put some good medications into his bloodstream. Yeah, OK, that stupid Keef-is-a-junkie shit is obvious but it never gets old. Unlike Keef. Who’s pretty much a walking corpse. I can go all day with these jokes, people…

Take that, remaining undead ex-Beatles! Apple Computer has won its lengthy and ridiculous battle brought on by Apple Corps who have said Apple’s apple infringes upon Apple Corp’s apple. I mentioned this in the last update on this crap, but I’ll say it again. I don’t think anyone ever thinks of Apple Corps when they see the Apple Computer logo, and vice versa. Still, Apple Corps has said the company is going to appeal the decision. Maybe they should apeel it instead, geddit?! Har har har. Guh. Will the greed never end?

Courtney Love’s gonna collab with Moby. Why? To “tap into his relaxed vibe.”

“”I just sort of feel safe around him, I can’t explain it, but we’ve been hanging out lots,” says Love. Yeah he’s an annoying vegetarian and she’s a junkie who lets it all hang out. It’s certainly to make for a most groovy matchup. Hopefully Jewel will show up and really get things cookin’.