Author: Captain Capm (Page 88 of 118)

Jewel gets soapy

May 13, 2006 / Captain Capm

Everyone’s least favorite snaggletoothed folkie bizzo Jewel is going to appear on an episode of “The Young and The Restless. Aww yeah, she’s doing it to help push her new pooper Alice in Blunderland. What? Excuse me, make that Goodbye Alice in Wonderland.

“On the show, Jewel will perform at a fundraiser hosted by characters Nick and Sharon Newman to mark the first anniversary of their teenage daughter’s death in a drunk-driving accident.”

Ooh, that’s sweet. At the end of the show, Jewel will also be doing a PSA for Muthas Against Drunk Driving. Should be a good time for all. All those mothers sitting at home, cigarette in one hand, glass of cheap whiskey in the other, all boozed up with their hair in rollers and donning their bathrobes and slippers. Yelling “You go girl!” at the TV screen as they prepare to prepare yet another TV dinner for their poor husbands just so they can catch yet another empowering episode of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”

Artists, News

Leif in the pen again

May 12, 2006 / Captain Capm

To no one’s surprise, Leif Garrett’s going to the pokey once again. This time he’s received 90 days in the clink and three years probation for quitting his junkie program. This would all be better news if the fucker hadn’t been given a new lease on popularity thanks to that stupid episode of “Behind The Music” a few years back, which of course led him to also having talking head bits on “I Love The ’70s” and a cameo in the shit fest that was “Dicky Roberts.” Anyway, Leif’s looking more and more like Paul Giamatti and Mark Hammil’s demon spawn every day.

Artists, Lists

Clay gay? Who say? No way!

May 11, 2006 / Captain Capm

How did we miss this story? This is GREAT TRASHY NEWS, people! And here we are a couple months behind it, but oh well. If you don’t know by now, Clay Aiken’s apparently done a little striptease for a homosexual man, mang. Also apparently, Aiken’s fans known as “Claymates” are bitching to the FTC about their boy, claiming his good ‘n plenty was not what was presented to them. Look, who cares if he’s gay or not, the nice thing is that at least he’s still getting mentioned by the press. I’m sure that’s come as a surprise even to him after all this time. Maybe he can go visit Gary Glitter and do some shows.

American Idol, Artists, News

Only The Nose knows!

May 11, 2006 / Captain Capm

Did Ashlee Simpson have a nose job or not? She’s not saying, but speculation on the Internet leans towards “yes.” For me, it’s hard to say. I can’t really tell as to my eyes, that goddamn nose is still getting in the way. Not that it matters at all. I’m sure if she had a nose job, it would be because she thought it would help her voice…and all that other shit. Perhaps if she just gave up singing altogether she’d be worry-free of her performance problems.

Artists, News

K-Fed fan fun

May 10, 2006 / Captain Capm

If you haven’t been over to K-Fed’s MySpace page, do yourself a favor and hit that shit. In the meantime, here are some hilarious comments left from fans over there.

“you’ve got some talent”
“ur sexy”
“…Brit is one lucky girl!”
“Im really liking the Jam Kevin!!! I wish they would give it more air play..”
“Your music btw is very good, the media though makes it sound like you suck..furthest thing from the truth keep making music it will happen for you!”
“damn k-fed, your shit is tight. keep makin music 4-eva”
“i saw ur myspace on “E” channel..and i was like “ha! he’s already my friend :)”
“Hey Kevin. How are you, man? Your music is awesome! Many of my friends went to your album listening party at PURE and they totally loved it!”
“I look the track it’s hottt!”
“you’re a lucky fellow you got to knock up britney, you know how many guys want to do that”
“seriously l dident knew u had skills to rap, u sound pretty good bro, liking america most hated, good luck whit the album pretty sure it ill do good, and fuck all them haterz.”

Artists