As the senior editor for Bullz-Eye, I am bombarded with dozens of emails per day from publicists (and they never sleep. Ask them, they’ll tell you), and to be honest, I’m lucky. Our publicist, Mike Farley, only forwards the must-act emails to me, so it could be much worse than it already is. (Thank you, Mike.) Today I received a newsletter from one very nice publicist (she has my direct email address, rats) who has the unfortunate task of repping a sorry excuse for a Benetton ad of a band named The Last Goodnight. I received a promo copy of their record last month, and the cover featured a picture of the band. They look ridiculous, but that’s not the point of this post. (It is, however, the point of my review, which runs on 8/24.)
This is what the final album cover artwork looks like.
Are, you, kidding me?
That is the worst album cover I’ve seen in years. Look at the snake’s head and its tail. Hell, look at the snake’s entire body. It looks as though it was drawn by a blind person who had the features of a snake explained to them by a Japanese person who was speaking through a translator. In other words, I know that’s a snake, but it’s the worst-looking snake I’ve ever seen in album cover history. How on Earth, in this day and age, did such a mediocre drawing make it to the final pressing?
Almost at once, the answer hit me: because no one buys CDs anymore.
I can actually hear the CEO bellowing at his staffers in the boardroom. “What are you doing wasting another thousand dollars on the cover? The kids are just going to download the album anyway! The cover, if they even look at it, will be no more than an inch by an inch on their freaking iPod Nano! The snake looks fine, now get the damn artist out of here. He’s stinking up the place, and my lunch has been stolen three days in a row.”
Anyone who lived through the ‘80s knows that this is actually a hilarious concept, since the advent of the CD had LP artwork purists crying foul as far back as 1986. Sure enough, the popularity of the compact disc caused bands to think of their album covers in much simpler terms, but no band in the ‘80s on Virgin Records (the Last Goodnight’s label) had to suffer the embarrassment of a cover like this, which is why I think this artistic atrocity comes down to simple economics. If people aren’t buying CDs, then there is no reason to waste money on elaborate, or even adequate, artwork.
I hope the people in the art departments at the major labels know Flash, or how to make a stunning cup of coffee, because it appears they are next on the chopping block…if they haven’t been axed already.
