Julien-K is a side project by two of the guys from Orgy, but don’t ask which two because it doesn’t really matter. They’re better than Orgy, but lowered expectations should not be a pass, and hoping something is better than Orgy is about as low as expectations get. This is synth-pop-influenced electronic music, but it has more in common with Linkin Park or even ’90s industrial-dance like Stabbing Westward than the ’80s synth-pop that the group is obviously trying to emulate. That makes sense, since Chester Bennington of Linkin Park has worked with the duo before with his side-project Dead by Sunrise. Chester makes a guest appearance on Death to Analog, dropping some backing vocals on the single “Kick the Bass,” and his emo whine is the least annoying part of the instantly forgettable excursion into ’80s pastiche. The amount of ’80s music that Julien-K rip off is truly staggering, adding only some slightly more aggro synthesizers to the mix; imagine the Pet Shop boys by way of KMFDM. Their obsession with the synth-pop of the past turns into downright theft with “Disease,” which blatantly steals portions of “West End Girls” without apology. The Handsome Furs had to pay New Order because their song “All We Want Baby, Is Everything” sounded too much like “Temptation”; precedent has been sent, the members of Julien-K should be forced to hand over their synthesizers as payment to the Pet Shop Boys. It would not only serve as restitution for the theft, it would also mean Julien-K wouldn’t be able to record new music for at least a short period of time, making everyone a winner. Even worse than that uncredited rip-off is the credited one, as the duo cover Romeo Void’s “Never Say Never,” which for some reason is spelled out in txt-speak as “Nvr Say Nvr.” But haphazard vowel removal is the least of the song’s problems, which removes the original’s classic saxophone solo with an oppressive synth riff while the singer tries to go the creepy, throaty whisper route with the vocals, presumably to make the song sound more aggressive and threatening. But there’s no way to make “I might like you better if we slept together” sound scary. Death to Analog just isn’t bad, it’s insulting, and on second thought it might actually be worse than Orgy. (Metropolis 2009)
