Category: News (Page 111 of 136)

Those pesky renters: bane of every decent, hard-working landlord’s existence! Even after they agree to fork over a hefty security deposit, you just know they’re still going to put a bunch of nail holes in the walls, stain the carpet, and paint the exterior of your 10-bedroom mansion with brilliant, gleaming purple stripes.

It doesn’t matter how much rent you charge; even at the lofty price of $70,000 a month, there’s always going to be some scrawny musical genius who thinks he can just install extra piping in the downstairs bedroom to allow water transfer for beauty salon chairs, and then rip up the carpet in the master bedroom and replace it with monogrammed purple shag.

When are these irresponsible kids going to grow up, earn a respectable living, and buy their own damn houses, fer chrissakes?

Ah, big deal. Yes, The Smiths turned down a small chunk of change to get back together. Personally, I’m glad they didn’t do it as this is one band that I can definitely do without. Morrissey’s voice makes me instantly hulk out and smash things. However, I guess I won’t get to personally do that seeing as how they won’t be reforming and touring. Dammit. To finally just hit that guy really good once and for all would be worth an overpriced concert ticket. Oh yes, I want to be the thorn in weepy-boy’s side.

What better way to poop on John Lennon than by holding a seance trying to contact him? You tell me. Too bad there are no such things as psychics. However, if Lennon does speak from beyond the grave, I hope he admits that he was a fraud and all that peace and love bullshit was due to the drugs. And whatever hairy hold Yoko had over him.