Author: Captain Capm (Page 96 of 118)

Dave Chappelle should drop Rick James, bitch, and start giving lip service to Whitney Houston. After all, Bobby Brown’s sister Tina claims that Houston is hooked on crack cocaine. According to the article,

“Tina claims drugs have made Whitney so paranoid that she sees demons everywhere and once made a hole in the bathroom wall as a spy hole.”

You know, a funny and similar thing happened to David Bowie when he was deep in the throes of nose candy in the mid ’70s. Well, at least Angie Bowie claims David was tormented by demons and other such shit at the time. Still, you gotta give it up for any celeb who makes spy holes in their bathroom walls. Who knows? Maybe K-Fed will get lucky and Bobby Brown will dump Whitney, leaving her out in the open for slim pickings.

Awww yeah, boieee. Meds, get in touch with the dude’s PR people because K-Fed is ready to drop his album in August! I cannot wait! This is the best news I’ve had all year, and nothing could possibly top it. The thing’s gonna be called Playing With Fire. Ooh! Get ready to be burned, all you hatas! Once this shit drops, you know K-Fed’s goin’ straight to the top! No more dumpster diving behind Taco Bell with cheap hookers for Mr. Spears! This is gonna be the Sgt. Pepper of 2006! I see many sales and Grammys coming K-Fed’s way! Exclamation points!!!

Come on, you remaining undead Beatles, give it up already. Ah, they won’t listen. The holier than thou Beatles are going to court against Apple Computers over its logo. Gimme a friggin’ break. Whenever I see Apple Computer’s apple logo, I don’t think of Apple Corps, and vice versa. Does anyone? Are Macca, Starr, and Ono that paranoid? Maybe Apple Computer should go back to using the multi-colored logo and then there would be no question. So a note to everyone out there” THE BEATLES WILL SUE YOU IF YOU USE A PICTURE OF AN APPLE IN YOUR BUSINESS LOGO. Stop being complete morons and just get your damned CDs remastered already. That would be a much better thing to do than wasting your time with this nonsense.

Well, she may not be dropping her drawaz anytime soon, but Jessica Simpson is looking to adopt some kiddies. Citing Angelina Jolie as an influence (“I think Angelina Jolie has done amazing, amazing things, and the international adoption rate just since her has skyrocketed”), Simpson says she wants to adopt kids before she has any the natural way. Right. That would totally put a crimp in her style. Let’s hope she gets knocked up by someone with at least an average IQ, lest those kids be doomed to stupidity. Hopefully she’ll adopt some baby geniuses who will tell her to just stop already.

OK, what the hell? First I reported that the Gorillaz were going to have their own cartoon, but now we have news of a split? Come on guys, make up your minds. Either you’re really sick of each other, or you’re not. It’s nice to know that back in the good old days a band like The Monkees could get sick of each other, put out more than two albums, have a TV show that lasted a few seasons AND a feature length movie. But I suppose this is what happens when you’re a cartoon band. Still, even the cartoon Beatles and cartoon Jackson 5 seem to have more longevity than this bunch.