Author: Captain Capm (Page 101 of 118)

That’s right. Even if his music sucks, you will pay, pirates! Two gentlemen are doing just that. Thanks to leaking Adams’ last album last August before it became commercially available, these men are looking upwars to 11 years in the slammer for copying Ryan’s disc and sharing. Gee, now if only he had released something recently that was actually worth getting in trouble over. As it is, however, his last one was certainly no better than a freebie.

Why? Because L.A. isn’t going to press charges against Scott Stapp for being publically intoxicated at their airport. What the hell kinda bullshit is this? Stampp should be strung up, nay, cruicified for his repugnant behavior! I for one have had enough of this man and his getting off scot free over and over again! Someone should pronounce this douche GUILTY and put him away for life so we no longer have to hear his music or see his ugly pug. Good day to you, sir!

It had to happen eventually. Michael Jackson’s Neverland has been ordered to close its doors. Jacko’s being sued $169,000 for failing to pay his workers or have insurance. Wow. Someone worked for that dude for nothing? And it’s about time, anyway. Neverland only seems to have three shitty rides. Once you’ve ridden them, what else is left to do? Ride Michael? HAR HAR! But seriously, folks. That guy needs a roller coaster or something. Oh wait, he already has one. It’s called “his life.” HAR HAR HAR HAR. Oh, Jesus. Let’s call it a day.

Don’t slop Christina Aguilera in with those current young stars! She’s better than them. Or so she claims, anyway. “I’m not naming names, but it’s more about the party scene with some of those girls than doing anything creative,” says Christina. Indeed. God knows how important it is to have her around being Serious and all and showing those younger starlets how an old lady like herself gets the work done. After all, Aguilera is already looking at the wheelchair years of a pop diva. What can she do to remain fresh and trampy? Only time will tell, along with whatever crappy hairdo and fashion statement she decides to unearth from the crypt next time she appears.

And the hot news keeps coming along! Our good old tardy boy Axl Rose is suing his ex-bandmates. Wow, and still no new music. Axl wants to make sure that Slash and Duff know that Rose has full ownership of all the jazz the band played so many years ago. Sadly, Rose does not have ownership of his own face, the original of which got hacked and chopped and sucked into a greasy plastic surgeon’s dumpster somewhere. In the meantime, all the old fans continue to kid themselves into thinking anyone will really give a damn about Chinese Democracy and that it will be released before they all turn geriatric.