Author: Mike Farley (Page 58 of 63)

For Mrs. Marley, it was a nightmare come true. She despises Rod Stewart like Red Sox fans despise the Yankees. Needless to say, I watched last night’s “American Idol” episode featuring Rod Stewart, alone.

But it wasn’t quite what I expected. The contestants didn’t sing Stewart’s hits or even his bad stuff (then again, those terms shouldn’t be mutually exclusive). Instead, like Stewart did on his latest album, they took on standards. And to the surprise of me, the judges, and probably all of America, the contestants really came alive last night. Well, most of them…..here is the recap:

THE GOOD

Chris Daughtry started things off with “What a Wonderful World,” and instead of trying to rock the song up, he stayed true to the melody and the mood, and it was a stunning rendition. The only thing that was weird was when he went to sit near the dude playing guitar on stage and almost looked like he was singing to the old guy. But Chris was still the man.

Paris Bennett sang “These Foolish Things” and, with her background in jazz, was totally in her element. But she still had to deliver a killer performance, and did just that. We all know Paris has good genes, but come on…..she’s really only 17? Wow. Simon said she was “terrific” and there’s not much more to say.

Taylor Hicks and Ryan Seacrest were yukking it up before he sang, about how “Saturday Night Live” was parodying Taylor the other night. But his performance of “You Send Me” was no joke……every week Taylor reminds us of why he’s still hanging around and is a serious threat to take home the big prize. It was a safe performance early, but as it went on and Taylor injected his personality…..let’s just say there is no stopping this gray haired wonder.

Katharine McPhee ended the night with a version of “Someone To Watch Over Me” and it was pretty frickin’ amazing. Simon said Katharine was in a different league compared to everyone else….I don’t know about that, but she sure as hell isn’t going to be in the bottom 3 this week.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Elliott Yamin was not mediocre, but a B-plus performance of “It Had To Be You” is not going to cut it at this stage of the competition. Simon hit it on the head…it was a good vocal, but lacked personality, at least compared to the others last night. Elliott, it might finally be time to go back to your day job of impersonating Abe Lincoln, or whatever it is that you do.

Ace Young was actually not bad for Ace Young last night. He cleaned up nicely, wearing a suit and slicking his hair back…..and Simon actually said his rendition of “That’s All” was “charming”……..the first real praise from Simon to Ace in weeks, but still it didn’t measure up to the four kickass performances last night.

THE BAD

As soon as I saw Kellie Pickler being coached by Rod Stewart, I thought of 2 things. One, Rod is probably wanting to throw her the Rod….and two, she’s not going to do very well tonight. I was right on at least one of those predictions…..Kellie sang “Bewitched” and to say it was pitchy would be kind to Kellie. She was just all over the place, and even claimed herself to have “butchered” the song.

It will be interesting to see how the voting turns out this week. Oh, and a word about voting….when Ryan Seacrest keeps telling America that they can’t complain about who gets kicked off if they don’t vote, I just want to jump through my TV and kick him in the nads…..dude, give it a rest…..every week like 40 million people vote, isn’t that enough for you? Or are 20 million of those you and Terri Hatcher hitting redial?

Based solely on performance, I think Kellie Pickler was the worst last night and should be going home…..however, she’s still way too cute, funny and generally talented enough for America not to give her another week or two. It’s probably going to be Elliott, because he’ s been near the bottom before and Simon’s comments about no personality may have cost him votes. I hope it’s Ace, because as far as I’m concerned he and Ryan Seacrest can both go take a long walk off a short pier.

Mrs. Marley will not witness Rod singing tonight, but she can forward through it later on TiVo.
Who will be going home? See you tomorrow for the results and commentary.

Marley, OUT.

Last night America got a taste of big dollar advertising and how it influences TV. Forget 5 hour Super Bowls and 4-plus hour World Series games. The one-hour results show of “American Idol” ranks right up there and probably commands similar $$ for those precious commercials. But for those of us who just want to know who got booted off, the wait was excruciating.

First, the remaining contestants performed more Queen music, doing a medley. But it was hard to watch with a video montage occuring on a split screen. One of the medley songs was “Killer Queen,” making me wonder why no one attempted that one on Tuesday night.

Then they showed video of each of the contestants’ parents…mildly interesting, but mostly boring.

After that they announced next week’s theme: the music of Rod Stewart. Mrs. Marley almost vomited on command because she loathes Rod Stewart about as much as she loathes root canal.
I guess I’ll be watching next week’s episodes alone.

Then Ryan Seacrest went one by one with the contestants, showing them more video of their parents and families before letting them know if they were safe or in the bottom 3. 20 minutes later, he had declared Taylor, Katharine, Chris and Kellie safe. Then Elliott was the first bottom 3 victim, and he was asked to sing for everyone. After more commercials, Ace was also relegated to the bottom 3 and was asked to sing. Are you kidding me? You want real entertainment? Get Kellie and Katharine to start making out.

Then it was down to Bucky and Paris, with Bucky going to the bottom 3 and Paris going to safety. Of course, then we had to endure Bucky singing again before finding out who went home. And as the Buckster was singing “Fat Bottom Girls” again, it occurred to me: this dude really needs to go home. Lucky for me America felt the same.

Now, people of Bumfuck, North Carolina…..you can go change the population sign from 42 back to 43.
Your Bucky is back.

Ace Young, I think you may be next…especially if you try something stupid like “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” Actually seeing what the contestants choose to sing is half the fun. See you guys next week.

Marley, OUT.

So last night’s “American Idol” featured the songs of Queen, one of the greatest rock bands of the last 3 decades. Though Freddy Mercury passed away and jurassic rocker Paul Rodgers took his place in the band, Queen’s music is still legendary. But how would the contestants measure up to the great Freddy Mercury, and sing songs that were obviously more difficult than anything they have tried yet?

Let’s go to the videotape…..

THE GOOD

Ladies and gentleman, Kellie Pickler is peaking at the right time. She may not understand Simon’s British accent through her hillbilly ears, but she took on “Bohemian Rhapsody” and gave a performance that no one expected. Not me, not the judges, not America. Kellie looked like Lita Ford and sang with a rocker growl she hasn’t really shown yet.

Gray haired boy Taylor Hicks may have appeared “drunk” to Simon Cowell, but to me he was the best performer last night. He took on “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” which might seem in itself to be a safe choice. But dude rocked it out and never veered off key….he was entertaining and to me at least, kicked everyone else’s ass.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Chris Daughtry sang “Innuendo” and while Simon at the time said it was the best vocal of the night, I also agree with his assessment that it was a poor song choice. Not everyone knows the song, and Chris could have picked something more familiar and made a statement. Instead, he probably wasn’t in the top 3 of voting last night.

Katharine McPhee sang the ballad “Who Wants to Live Forever” and though it was Celine Dion-ish at times in power, Katharine seemed to shout and didn’t quite put the necessary feeling into it. She’s been in the bottom 3 before and I’m not sure she wont’ be back there again tonight.

Elliott Yamin sang “Somebody To Love,” which is probably as difficult to sing as “Bohemian Rhapsody” but he proved why he is still hanging around at this stage. Dude can bring it vocally, but he still wasn’t as entertaining last night as Kellie or Taylor.

Paris Bennett sang “The Show Must Go On” and while I agree with Simon that it was a little strange seeing this innocent young girl in black leather singing a power ballad, she still has what it takes vocally and could go all the way.

THE BAD

Bucky Covington, you are a karaoke machine. You proved that again last night with your countrified rendition of “Fat Bottom Girls.” Randy even used the word “karaoke” in his remarks, and that’s really what it was. You can sing, sure, but you are not going to be a star.

Side note: the funniest moment of the night was when Ryan Seacrest asked Bucky what it was like to sing Freddy Mercury, and Bucky replied, “He’s not somebody you want to get behind.” Ryan then answered, without missing a beat: “You can say that again.” All I have to say is, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that…”

Ace Young is so full of himself, and he may just be losing votes because of that. He took on “We Will Rock You” and it was, as Simon said, “a mess.” What’s more, he tried to get Brian May and the boys to change the arrangement of the song just for him. Thankfully they declined. But in response to Simon, Ace said “I think I rocked.” I’m glad you did, dude, now just go home.

So who will it be? Bucky, Ace, Katharine, Elliott? Maybe even Paris? Well, if America wants to redeem itself, it will vote off Bucky or Ace because let’s face it, they are not Idol material.

Tonight there is an excuciating one hour episode for the results show…..I wonder what will be in store to fill all that time. Will they bring back Barry Manilow, Stevie Wonder, Kenny Rogers and Brian May to form a supergroup? Will the big gay Mexican priest return again? Will Darrell and Terrell return in orange jumpsuits? Will Ryan Seacrest propose to Terri Hatcher? Okay, that’s enough from me today…see you for the results.

Marley, OUT.

It is a sad day here at Marley World Headquarters. Yes, Mandisa was voted off of “American Idol.” Sad not just because we thought she had the goods to go all the way, but because tools like Ace and Bucky are still hanging around. What gives, America?

Well, in all fairness, Mandisa was not very good the last few weeks. And let’s face it, when Simon made the comments very early on this season that the stage might not be big enough……let’s just say America already has one extremely overweight Idol and you don’t see much of Ruben Studdard anymore. And every time you do see him perform, he’s soaked in sweat and out of breath. That may not be fair but I am quite sure appearance was somewhat of a deciding factor.

The show started with the new face of Kenny Rogers….seriously dude, it’s okay to look like an old man!
Anyway, he performed his new single “I Can’t Unlove You” and sounded great….Simon even
commented beforehand that even though he doesn’t like country music, he is a Kenny Rogers fan.

Then after another really stupid Ford commercial (it’s not even worth getting into) they broke the remaining contestants into groups of 3, with one of those being the bottom 3. I thought for sure the group of Katharine, Ace and Bucky was it but I was wrong…it was Elliott, Paris and Mandisa. Paris….are you kidding me? Please, people…don’t vote her off before Ace or Bucky…show me that you have some semblance of hearing left.

So now we are left with the elite 8: Taylor, Kellie, Chris, Elliot, Paris, Ace, Katharine and Bucky.
I guess I’m sticking to my guns here and saying Chris is my favorite to go all the way. But has anyone noticed that Taylor keeps hanging around and hasn’t been in the bottom 3 yet? Neither has Kellie….hmmm. Stay tuned, it’s gonna get interesting.

Next week the contestants perform the music of one of the greatest rock bands ever, Queen. Ace will use his falsetto to hang on, but Bucky doing Freddy Mercury? Start packing your bags, dude.

Marley, OUT.

So last night’s installment of “American Idol” taught us a few things. One, idols can’t sing country music very well. Two, Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell don’t like each other. Three, Randy Jackson shouldn’t wear a shiny red vest—dude, I can’t get the glare out of my eyes today.

All of the above pretty much sums up the storyline, but it’s worth noting that there is some real bitterness between judge and host and it keeps growing. After Simon made a comment about a contestant being dull and boring, Ryan responded by saying “Just like your love life, Simon.” Simon didn’t immediately respond, but later on made reference to Ryan’s 5 O’Clock shadow, saying that he was going for the “Desperate Housewives” look….taking a backhanded jab at the fact that Seacrest is said to be dating Terri Hatcher. Look, I like Simon and can’t stand Seacrest, but if he really is dating Terri Hatcher, he’s got scoreboard on the old man.

Then, to make things more interesting, Ryan later made reference to the fact that some of the judges were acting strange, and wondering aloud if there was a flask being passed around. We all know Paula has a problem, but are things that tense on the set that all of it is coming out before our very eyes? Stay tuned, this can only get uglier. But for now, pass me the flask, because if the performances are as boring next week as they were last night, we will all need to be drunk to figure out who is best.

Kenny Rogers was a guest on the show, and he spent some time coaching each contestant as they got ready to sing a song from the country music genre. Oddly, none of them picked a Kenny Rogers song. In fact, some of the song choices last night and this season in general have been, to use a Simon term, “dreadful.”

THE GOOD

Kellie Pickler was the best performer of the night, and no one should really be surprised that she can sing country. She sang “Fancy” and while Randy said it was great, Simon said he hated the song but loved the performance. But the fact that she was the best of the night should tell you all you need to know about everyone else.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Taylor Hicks kicked things off with John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” and it was about as bland as a piece of tofu. (To my vegetarian readers: “Not that there’s anything wrong with that”). Simon said the performance had no personality. It didn’t suck, but it was just boring.

Mandisa sang “Any Man of Mine,” and even though she hails from Nashville she couldn’t pull it off. It was boring and off-key in spots. We all know she’s capable of doing much better.

Elliott Yamin sang Garth Brooks’ “If Tomorrow Never Comes,” and while Randy said it was “hot,” Simon said it was a safe and mediocre performance, and I agree. Have you noticed I don’t usually note Paula’s comments? That’s because she gushes over everyone through that drunken haze. Besides, who really cares what Paula Abdul thinks?

Paris Bennett attempted LeAnn Rimes’ “How Do I Live” and it was just okay, once again not what we’ve come to expect from this little dynamo. Paula actually said she didn’t connect with the audience and Simon disagreed and said it was “excellent.” Maybe Paula passed Simon the flask?

Ace Young sang “I Wanna Cry,” maybe trying to cater to the soft side of all his female fans. Randy said it was boring and I agree. Simon actually said it was “very good” and Paula, well, Paula has a chick woodie for this guy.

Chris Daughtry is my hero….he may even be my new favorite to go all the way. But last night, he nearly put me to sleep singing Keith Urban’s “Memories.” The judges thought it was cool seeing a different side of Chris, instead of the rocker everyone has come to recognize. He can sing, but needs to show a bit more of that flare again to keep it going.

Katharine McPhee sang “Bringing Out Elvis” and with a bluesy choice like that, I really expected her to bring it. But she really kind of brought a boring rendition. She wasn’t bad, but she wasn’t great. And the fact that she was in the bottom two last week makes me wonder if this is the last we’ll see of Katharine.

Bucky Covington sang “Best I Ever Had,” and I don’t know who remade it into country but to me, that is a Vertical Horizon song. You would think Bucky could really show us something this week, right? Um, no. Bucky started off so bad, I thought America would vote him off right there on the show, but he got better as the song went on. Still, dude has got to be sweating like a cow in line at McDonald’s.

THE BAD

Okay, there was no one that really sucked last night. So it’s going to be hard to even predict the bottom 3. I’m going with Ace, Katharine and Bucky, because they’ve all been there before and there’s no reason to believe America won’t put them there again. But who will go home? My gut says Katharine, but I don’t think that would be right….so I’m hoping America picks Ace, because I really think the time is right for him to ride off into the sunset, or into Paula’s bed.

See you tomorrow with the results!

Marley, OUT.