We had originally planned on doing a piece for Bullz-Eye on the best music videos of all time, but apparently a slew of other sites were tapping our phone lines, because before we could even begin tallying votes, Slate or one of those sites assembled a near-perfect list, bastards.

So, since the Spotlight Kid has stolen OK Go and the Art of Noise off of my list, I feel I must strike now, or forever hold my peace.

1. Fatboy Slim: “Weapon of Choice”
You’ve all seen it, you all love it. Christopher Walken busts out the soft shoe in a hotel lobby. Walken said in an interview that the second day of shooting, which is when all the wire work took place, was one of the most painful things he’s ever done.

2. Avalanches: “Frontier Psychiatrist”
How do you make a video for a song that samples everything under the sun? You put every single thing they sample on a stage together. The spooky choir goes up top next to the cowboys, and the woman smacking the whinnying horse goes in the middle. If you can listen to the song a couple times before watching the video, it’ll make the video look even better.

3. Blur: “Coffee & TV”
How about that, a video that tells a story, remember those? Blur guitarist Graham Coxon has gone missing, and the milk carton that has Coxon’s “Have you seen me?” shot on it decides to track him down. Impossibly cute, with an ending that will bring you to tears.

4. Kenna: “Freetime”
You have to love a video that’s shot entirely from the knees down. The setup: a guy gets in a fight with his girlfriend, and goes out to blow off steam. He pretty much gets his ass kicked from then on, but to say how would spoil the fun. As an aside, Kenna’s record New Sacred Cow was woefully underappreciated.

5. Supergrass: “Pumping on Your Stereo”
Everybody loves muppets. Supergrass should have their own Saturday morning TV show, based on this video alone.

6. Nine Inch Nails: “The Perfect Drug”
The Spotlight Kid will surely gag when he sees this entry, but this video, directed by the peerless Mark Romanek, is Trent Reznor’s finest, for my money. Love the shots of that vulture, and that sequence during the drum breakdown is stunning.

7. Gnarls Barkley: “Gone Daddy Gone” (YouTube) (Windows Media) (Real Player) (Quicktime)
Heatseeker, New Entry. A publicist just dropped a link to this vid in my mailbox, and damned if it isn’t one of the coolest clips I’ve seen in ages. Picture the members of Gnarls Barkley as fleas and ticks, and singer Cee-Lo has a crush on the lady of the household, who obviously doesn’t return his affections. Silly, clever, and in the end a little sad. And dig that “Fight Club” tribute.

8. Madonna: “Oh Father”
The best video David Fincher directed that no one talks about. The shadow work in this is chilling, especially that slo-mo funeral procession.

9. Jamiroquai: “Virtual Insanity”
The band may have since dropped off the radar since this song’s peak, but its video still kills. The walls have wheels.

10. Duran Duran: “Burning the Ground”
Is this the world’s first mash-up? This clip of the medley of Duran singles compiled for their 1989 best-of Decade is impossibly well-edited, synching up the original clips to the mash-up despite any differences in beats per minute. The amusing part now is the ending, with then-members Sterling Campbell and Warren Cuccurullo filling out the quintet to enter the next decade. Campbell would leave the band after one album.

How’d I do, Kid?