RIYL: Drowning puppies

Al Jourgensen is a liar, an asshole, and a washed-up, no-talent hack.

He’s a liar because even though he said he was breaking up Ministry in 2008, after the release of The Last Sucker and the covers compilation Cover Up, here he is with a “new” album. He’s an asshole because the said “new” album is nothing more than a hastily thrown together hodgepodge of lazy covers and re-recorded versions of Ministry songs. And he’s a washed-up, no-talent hack because it all sounds like shit, the obvious work of a lazy pig who hates his fans, throwing together a collection of compost just for a quick paycheck.

The covers on Every Day Is Halloween: Greatest Tricks are atrocious. While the covers on Cover Up took elements of the originals and incorporated them into an industrial sound, here Al just grabs some classic rock tunes (and Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab”), throws some distorted guitars over them, cranks the drum machine to 11 and calls it a day. The cover of “Strangehold” sounds like the cover of “Iron Man” that sounds like the cover of “Paint It Black” that sounds like a pile of dogshit. He even manages to ruin “Thunderstruck,” which is pretty damn impressive if you think about it.

Even worse are the re-recorded tracks. New versions of “N.W.O.” “Stigmata,” “Every Day Is Halloween” and the other unfortunate Ministry classics that are assassinated here either sound too similar to the old versions, or radically different in all the wrong ways. What’s most noticeable on all of them is that Al can no longer sing, scream, howl or growl with any kind of intensity. Either that or he just doesn’t give a shit about Ministry anymore. And I’m right there with him. (Cleopatra Records 2010)

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