Okay, over the years there have been innumerable concert tours featuring a variety of similarly-themed (or even not-so-similarly-themed) artists sharing a single lineup: Rockfest. Lollapalooza. Monsters of Rock. You get the picture.
The demand for these types of shows is both reliable and understandable. What is not so understandable, however, is why anyone thought it would be a good idea to trot out bland vanilla-pop white-boy wannabe soulsters Huey Lewis and the News, pair them with sappy overwrought overrated snooze-inducers Chicago, and send the whole boring kit and caboodle out on tour.
Never mind that the Boys of Blah will be launching fits of narcolepsy left and right all across the country, disappointing legions of the former forensics team captains and Glee Club members who used to listen to them. The real problem here is one of marketing: What do you call a tour this achingly, willfully, obscenely boring?
Many options come to mind. None of them, however, seem particularly encouraging with regard to drawing ticket buyers:
The Heart of Rock & Roll Is Not Here
Snoozefest 2006
Critters of Crap
Kings of the Wuss Frontier
Government-Approved Purveyors of Rocklike Auditory Modulations
25 or 6 to Snore
I’m sure you can come up with several better ideas than these. I’d love to hear them. Whoever submits the best suggestion will receive a free copy of Chicago’s “XXX,” or a bottle of Lunesta, whichever I can track down a free copy of first.
