You know it’s a slow news day now, kids. Lisa Marie Presley went and got married again. This time to some guitarist named Michael Lockwood. It’s the fourth marriage for Lisa. Frankly, I don’t think this one will last, either. There’s just something very unsexy about a chick who looks like Elvis. And that damn sneer would just make me wanna slap her silly after about five minutes. I think she should start pounding barbiturates and fried peanut butter samitches to make up for the personal deficits, but that’s just me.