Category: Lists (Page 17 of 19)

Leif in the pen again

To no one’s surprise, Leif Garrett’s going to the pokey once again. This time he’s received 90 days in the clink and three years probation for quitting his junkie program. This would all be better news if the fucker hadn’t been given a new lease on popularity thanks to that stupid episode of “Behind The Music” a few years back, which of course led him to also having talking head bits on “I Love The ’70s” and a cameo in the shit fest that was “Dicky Roberts.” Anyway, Leif’s looking more and more like Paul Giamatti and Mark Hammil’s demon spawn every day.

Worst, albums, ever

Q Mazagine just unveiled their list of the 50 worst albums of all time. Here is a small sampling of some of the more notable entries:

50. Beck – Midnite Vultures (a little harsh, methinks)
46. Oasis – Standing on the Shoulders of Giants
28. Rolling Stones – Dirty Work
23. Alanis Morissette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
21. The Clash – Cut the Crap
15. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band soundtrack
13. Bruce Willis – The Return of Bruno
10. Tin Machine – Tin Machine II
4. Lou Reed – Metal Machine Music (Spotlight Kid will surely have something to say about this one.)
2. All of the Spice Girls solo albums (something that will surely have the Mayor of Simpleton in an uproar, since he loves his Mel C)

And the Worst Album of All Time?

Duran Duran – Thank You

And as a diehard Duran Duran fan, all I have to say is: Goddamn right. Save the cover of “White Lines,” the album was abysmal.

Best of the ‘90s, a second look: The singles

Before I had the awesome job of writing for ESDM, Premium Hollywood and Bullz-Eye, I ran Dizzy Heights, which was effectively an email list. A guy I know named Brian helped build a web site for me, but after a while I let it fall into complete disarray. I can’t even find my own site anymore. (Seriously, I tried finding it on Google, and it doesn’t come up.)

At the turn of the last decade/century, I decided to assemble lists – because that’s what I do, make lists – of my favorite albums and singles of the ‘90s. In order to spread the love around, I tried to limit certain albums to either the Singles list or the Albums list. There are exceptions to this, obviously, but I didn’t want both lists to be mirror images of each other.

In retrospect, this decision resulted in some highly questionable selections.

Top 20 Singles of the Decade
20) “We Let the Stars Go,” Prefab Sprout (1990).

Oh, dear. I still love Jordan: The Comeback, but there is just no excuse for this.
19) “Female of the Species,” Space (1997).
This still gets regular play Chez Chauffeur, but wait until you see the list of songs I left off the list to make room for this one. You’ll want to slap me.
18) “Water from a Vine Leaf,” William Orbit (1993).
Ugh. What in the hell…
17) “Creep,” Radiohead (1993).
At last, one that doesn’t totally embarrass me.
16) “April Fools,” Rufus Wainwright (1998).
I still love this song, but my obsession with Wainwright, I hate to say, is waning. Enough with the show tunes already. Get back to writing pop songs, you big girl.
15) “Been Caught Stealing,” Jane’s Addiction (1990).
One of the coolest things at my wedding was when we played this. “I’ve been caught stealing, once” – everyone holds up a finger – “when I was five” – everyone holds up five fingers. It’s the little things in life.
14) “Enjoy the Silence,” Depeche Mode (1990).
The dude from Linkin Park recently remixed this (and did a mighty fine job, I might add), and all I could think was, “If Linkin wrote songs this good, I might actually like them.” As it is, they don’t, so I don’t. Now if only Depeche Mode themselves could write songs this good anymore.
13) “Driving,” Everything but the Girl (1990)
I loves me my Tracey Thorn. The first half of the ‘90s was a rather emotionally turbulent one, meaning that Everything but the Girl was very much the soundtrack of my life. I don’t miss those days, though I miss Everything but the Girl. Come back, guys, please.
12) “Block Rockin’ Beats,” The Chemical Brothers (1997)
Boom shacka lacka lacka lacka. With the Chemicals, once again you know it’s on.
11) “Unfinished Sympathy,” Massive Attack (1991)
I love Mezzanine and all, but Massive Attack will never again make anything as good as this.
10) “Setting Sun,” The Chemical Brothers (1996).
When they talked about dance music being the new rock & roll, this is what they meant. Pity that whole “new rock” thing began and ended with this song.
9) “The Rockafeller Skank,” Fatboy Slim (1998).
Fuck. I’m an idiot.
8) “Paranoid Android,” Radiohead (1997).
I read that some people did a study by playing Radiohead songs to a group children and asking them to draw. Everything the kids made said “SAD SAD SAD.”
7) “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” Propellerheads (1997).
I really, really miss these guys.
6) “Song 2,” Blur (1997).
Come back, Graham. The band needs you more than they’ll ever admit.
5) “Connection,” Elastica (1995).
Why is it that only the good bands make two records and break up? Pssst, Linkin Park: here’s your chance. Go out while people still give a damn about you. Please?
4) “Common People,” Pulp (1995).
Good enough for William Shatner, good enough for you.
3) “White Lines,” Duran Duran (1995).
Should have put “Ordinary World” here, like I originally planned.
2) “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Nirvana (1991).
15 years on, and I still crank the ever loving shit out of this song whenever it comes on.
1) “Cowboys and Angels,” George Michael (1990).
Betcha didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Back to that whole slapping-me-silly part. Here are the songs I left off the list to make room for Prefab Sprout, Space, and William freaking Orbit:

“Bitter Sweet Symphony,” The Verve
“There She Goes,” The La’s
“Getting Away With It,” Electronic
“Laid,” James
“Step On,” Happy Mondays
“Soon,” My Bloody Valentine
“Papua New Guinea,” Future Sound of London
“In Yer Face,” 808 State
“Linger,” The Cranberries
“Frozen,” Madonna
“Black Hole Sun,” Soundgarden
“Battersea,” Hooverphonic
“Me and My Big Ideas,” Tears for Fears
“Constant Craving,” kd lang
“The Emperor’s New Clothes,” Sinead O’Connor
“Geek Stink Breath,” Green Day
“Something’s Always Wrong,” Toad The Wet Sprocket
“Killing In The Name,” Rage Against The Machine

Like I said, I’m an idiot.

Coming soon: Albums of the ‘90s. Nowhere near as embarrassing as my Singles list, though I should be chained and tortured for my #2 album.

Deep Cuts: Tom Petty

My love affair with the music of Tom Petty began in 1989 when I saw his video for “Free Fallin’” on MTV. Like many in my generation, the song really struck a chord with me and I ran out to buy Full Moon Fever, which goes down as one of the best CD purchases I’ve ever made. Much like U2’s The Joshua Tree, which I talked about as part of my U2 Deep Cuts article, Full Moon Fever has absolutely no weak spots – every song is good. Two years later he and the Heartbreakers released Into The Great Wide Open, and after hearing “Learning To Fly,” I knew I was hooked. I started to explore Petty’s back catalog a bit more and found familiar Heartbreaker tunes like “American Girl,” “Breakdown” and “Refugee.” Luckily for me, in 1993 the group released its first Greatest Hits compilation, which still serves as a fantastic introduction to the band.

As time went on, Petty released the terrific Wildflowers and contributed all of the tracks to the She’s The One soundtrack, which was completely overlooked. It was during these years that Petty cemented himself as one of my all-time favorites, a moniker that he and his band will continue to hold as long as I draw breath.

1) “The Wild One, Forever” – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
This Springsteen-esque track was actually written with the Rascals in mind during a break in the recording of “Breakdown.” It has a great melody over the initial guitar riff that carries the song until the chorus, which really shows how much potential Petty had in 1976.

2) “Insider” – Hard Promises
Producer Jimmy Iovine wanted Petty to write a song for Stevie Nicks’ Bella Donna, which Iovine was also producing. But after Petty finished “Insider,” he said “it really hurt me when I did the track” and he couldn’t give the song up. Nicks understood and even sang harmony on the beautiful ballad. Nicks ended up using the Petty’s “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” instead.

3) “A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me)” – Hard Promises
The Heartbreakers’ usual bassist, Ron Blair, was drifting away from the band during recording sessions for Hard Promises, so Petty brought in one of his heroes, Duck Dunn (Booker T & the MG’s), who plays an exquisite bass line while Petty moves through the vocals. The song then explodes from the soft verse into the chorus. Petty feels that the single would have received much more airplay if not for the Heartbreakers’ appearance on his duet with Stevie Nicks, “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around,” which was released as a single at the same time.

4) “Change of Heart” – Long After Dark
When asked about this track, Petty has said, “I was trying to write an ELO kind of song. I think the inspiration was ‘Do Ya.’” This influence is obvious as the track starts off with a crunchy guitar. While Petty only refers to “Change of Heart” as a “good rock song,” the track shows Petty’s considerable versatility within the rock genre.

5) “Straight into Darkness” – Long after Dark
This track didn’t really work in the studio until Petty decided to turn it over to the piano. Once the Heartbreakers heard the pretty piano intro, they knew how to play the track. Even though it wasn’t released as a single, Bruce Springsteen once pulled Petty aside and told him what a great song it was.

Be sure to check out Bullz-Eye.com’s full list of Tom Petty Deep Cuts, and then read more about the aritst with their list of Tom Petty Essentials, an entertainer page, and a book review of Conversations with Tom Petty.

10 fabulous lines by Lou Reed for any occasion

Use any of these classy lines/lyrics by Uncle Lou next time you want to spice up a dull conversation.

1. “You want to make love to the scene.”
2. “Gimme an issue, I’ll give you a tissue. You can wipe my ass with it.”
3. “Ooh ooh wee! Son of a B!”
4. “I said, ‘If I ever see Sharon again, I’m gonna punch her face in.'”
5. “I guess that I’m dumb ’cause I know I ain’t smart, but deep down inside I got a rock and roll heart.”
6. “A little sugar with my coffee, how’s your tea?”
7. “Disco…disco mystic. Disco…disco mystic.”
8. “I wanna be black. I wanna be like Malcolm X and cast a hex over President Kennedy’s tomb…and have a big prick, too.”
9. “So we both shared a piece of sweet cheese and talked of our lives and our dreams.”
10. “When they shoot you up with thorazine on crystal smoke you choke like a son of a gun.”

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