Month: April 2006 (Page 8 of 16)

American Idol: Ace Not “Forever Young”

Good karma does count for something. Recently while drawing $20 from the ATM, a $50 bill came out and I did the right thing and returned it to the bank teller. Yes, my friends, Art Marley is a good person. Not only did the bank give me a cash reward, but last night Ace Young got kicked off “American Idol,” just as I had wished for a day earlier.

Of course, even though the show was thirty minutes long, we had to endure the agony of Ryan Seacrest trying to fill time and Rod Stewart performing. Actually the old man wasn’t so bad doing a rendition of “The Way You Look Tonight” from his latest collection of standards.

Then it was all business….Ryan divvied up the remaining seven contestants into groups of 3, plus one.
The plus one was Taylor Hicks, who was immediately told he was safe. I’m not stupid….the reason he was the first to safety was because he got the highest number of votes Tuesday night. Look out America, the fifth Idol just might have gray hair.

Then Taylor was asked to stand by the group he thought was safe…..Elliott, Kellie and Katharine…or Ace, Chris and Paris. He faked a move, shaking Chris’ hand, then moving to the other group…and he was correct. I guess Elliott really is going to keep hanging around….I mean, dude can sing his ass off, so it’s all good. But Kellie not in the bottom 3 after that awful showing Tuesday?

So then it was down to Ace, Paris and Chris and Paris was the first one of the three to be put back to safety. Then it came down to Chris and Ace….look, I didn’t count the votes but I can almost guarantee there was about a 10 million vote differential between Chris and Ace. Vocally at least, there is no comparison. America, you got it right.

Next week, the classically trained Italian pop singer Andre Bocelli will be guiding the Idols as they choose from the greatest love songs of all time. Thankfully we don’t have to see Ace sing a sappy ballad and watch Paula Abdul drool in her Coke cup. But more importantly, we’ve got a half dozen contestants left…..which means we’re only a handful of weeks from crowning our next Idol.

Wow, has this season been a blur? It has, and now we’re left with a final six of contestants that are all worthy of winning it all. Thankfully. See you next week my friends…

Marley, OUT.

K-Fed “forced” to torture us

Yes, our dear K-Fed claims he was basically forced to go into a music career by the US media. He says he’s “more than happy” to do it, but that “I don’t have a choice. It’s not like I can go and do construction, start building houses in Malibu (California).” Oh please, K-Fed. You have even MORE choices than that, if you’d only look around. C’mon no one really wants you to go into music, we just want to see you fail! If nothing else, we’d seriously love to see you flipping burgers or working at the car wash. Don’t you know how much more publicity a move like that would generate? But hey, we know you’re not very bright and you’re insanely delusional if you think anyone wants to seriously hear your tunes. Still, you have provided textbook examples of how to make the worst “rap” songs in the world thusfar, so maybe you are a bit of a valuable tool. Scratch that. You’re just a tool.

Nick Lachey revealed to be a big, whiny baby…on the next “Entertainment Tonight”!

Yes, in an interview with “Rolling Stone,” Nick Lacey finally opened up about the closing of his marriage to Jessica Simpson, and, more importantly to those who enjoy a bit of a giggle at someone else’s expense, started crying at various points during the interivew.

I haven’t read the interview yet…just the synopsis of it in this piece written by the fine folks at “Entertainment: Tonight” …but the description of the conversation actually makes you feel sorry for the guy.

He claims he found out his marriage was over when Jessica told him it was over…on the way home from the American freakin’ Music Awards, fer chrissakes!…and when he asked her not to make any rash decisions and to sleep on it, she apparently thought he said, “Sleep with someone else,” because when the next morning rolled around, her decision remained unchanged.

“I never wanted a divorce,” clarified Lachey. “I wanted us to be happy. I guess we differed on strategy.”

I guess.

I just know this is somehow linked to recent high gas prices

Word on the street is that Michael Jackson is recording his new album in Bahrain.

You know, I am about as sick of hearing about ol’ Wacko Jacko working on new material as I am of hearing Axl Rose make assurances that Chinese Democracy is coming out soon. He STILL hasn’t put out that damned Hurricane Katrina relief single; judging by the state of his finances, by the time it comes out, New Orleans will say, “Hey, Mike, why don’t you keep the proceeds? Looks like you need it more than we do.”

American Idol: Heh Heh, You Said “Rod”

For Mrs. Marley, it was a nightmare come true. She despises Rod Stewart like Red Sox fans despise the Yankees. Needless to say, I watched last night’s “American Idol” episode featuring Rod Stewart, alone.

But it wasn’t quite what I expected. The contestants didn’t sing Stewart’s hits or even his bad stuff (then again, those terms shouldn’t be mutually exclusive). Instead, like Stewart did on his latest album, they took on standards. And to the surprise of me, the judges, and probably all of America, the contestants really came alive last night. Well, most of them…..here is the recap:

THE GOOD

Chris Daughtry started things off with “What a Wonderful World,” and instead of trying to rock the song up, he stayed true to the melody and the mood, and it was a stunning rendition. The only thing that was weird was when he went to sit near the dude playing guitar on stage and almost looked like he was singing to the old guy. But Chris was still the man.

Paris Bennett sang “These Foolish Things” and, with her background in jazz, was totally in her element. But she still had to deliver a killer performance, and did just that. We all know Paris has good genes, but come on…..she’s really only 17? Wow. Simon said she was “terrific” and there’s not much more to say.

Taylor Hicks and Ryan Seacrest were yukking it up before he sang, about how “Saturday Night Live” was parodying Taylor the other night. But his performance of “You Send Me” was no joke……every week Taylor reminds us of why he’s still hanging around and is a serious threat to take home the big prize. It was a safe performance early, but as it went on and Taylor injected his personality…..let’s just say there is no stopping this gray haired wonder.

Katharine McPhee ended the night with a version of “Someone To Watch Over Me” and it was pretty frickin’ amazing. Simon said Katharine was in a different league compared to everyone else….I don’t know about that, but she sure as hell isn’t going to be in the bottom 3 this week.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Elliott Yamin was not mediocre, but a B-plus performance of “It Had To Be You” is not going to cut it at this stage of the competition. Simon hit it on the head…it was a good vocal, but lacked personality, at least compared to the others last night. Elliott, it might finally be time to go back to your day job of impersonating Abe Lincoln, or whatever it is that you do.

Ace Young was actually not bad for Ace Young last night. He cleaned up nicely, wearing a suit and slicking his hair back…..and Simon actually said his rendition of “That’s All” was “charming”……..the first real praise from Simon to Ace in weeks, but still it didn’t measure up to the four kickass performances last night.

THE BAD

As soon as I saw Kellie Pickler being coached by Rod Stewart, I thought of 2 things. One, Rod is probably wanting to throw her the Rod….and two, she’s not going to do very well tonight. I was right on at least one of those predictions…..Kellie sang “Bewitched” and to say it was pitchy would be kind to Kellie. She was just all over the place, and even claimed herself to have “butchered” the song.

It will be interesting to see how the voting turns out this week. Oh, and a word about voting….when Ryan Seacrest keeps telling America that they can’t complain about who gets kicked off if they don’t vote, I just want to jump through my TV and kick him in the nads…..dude, give it a rest…..every week like 40 million people vote, isn’t that enough for you? Or are 20 million of those you and Terri Hatcher hitting redial?

Based solely on performance, I think Kellie Pickler was the worst last night and should be going home…..however, she’s still way too cute, funny and generally talented enough for America not to give her another week or two. It’s probably going to be Elliott, because he’ s been near the bottom before and Simon’s comments about no personality may have cost him votes. I hope it’s Ace, because as far as I’m concerned he and Ryan Seacrest can both go take a long walk off a short pier.

Mrs. Marley will not witness Rod singing tonight, but she can forward through it later on TiVo.
Who will be going home? See you tomorrow for the results and commentary.

Marley, OUT.

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