I’ll believe it when it happens, but there’s a rumor going around that Johnny Depp is being considered for the starring role in a planned Michael Hutchence biopic.
Okay, I’ll buy it.
They’re also saying that Siena Miller, Eric Bana, Naomi Watts, and Rachel Griffiths are being considered for the roles of Paula Yates and Bob Geldof. That’s a shame. I’d love to see the screen credit that read, “…and Sir Bob Geldof as himself.”
Yes, ladies and gentleman, Spike Marley is a prophet.
Once again, I correctly chose who would go home this week on “American Idol,” Kellie Pickler.
But more than that, it was sweet vindication at the beginning of the show, when Ryan Seacrest asked the judges if they had any regrets about Tuesday night’s comments.
Simon Cowell admitted that he was wrong about Katharine McPhee’s performance…that it was in fact way better on tape than what it appeared. Hey, I know I don’t get paid the big bucks to sit in those judge chairs and sip rum and coke, but I heard Katharine sing her ass off Tuesday and I called it. Even sweeter was the fact that she was in the top 2 of the voting last night along with Chris Daughtry.
But I digress…..so first of all, Seacrest let us all know that America set a record with 47.5 million votes on Tuesday night. I’m convinced that dude gets some sort of bonus based on how many people vote. Really, does anyone care if it’s 40 million, 45 million, or 47.5 million? That’s just a lot of freaking votes.
Then, we got treated to the vocal performance of Andrea Bocelli, who sang “Because We Believe.” Holy crap, can that guy sing. I’m not a fan of opera, and dude is more of a pop/standard singer with opera training….and also, that kind of thing bores me to tears….but you have to respect his vocal ability.
Former contestant Lisa Tucker was in the house with her parents, and apparently Lisa landed an acting gig and will be appearing on tonight’s episode of “The O.C.” Good for her.
Then the contestants were divided into groups of 2, and the first to be declared safe was the group of Elliott and Taylor, who we later found out, were the middle vote getters. Since Katharine and Chris were the top 2, that left Paris and Kellie. Paris was less than compelling Tuesday night, but clearly Kellie is not in her class vocally and it was time for her to go home.
So, back in Bumfuck, North Carolina, or wherever the hell she’s from, they can get the calamari and the SAL-mon ready. Oh, and since Kellie declared her lack of a boyfriend on Tuesday night, she can be sure that about 20 million dudes will be lining up for a chance in the batter’s box. At least her Idol experience was good for something.
Who will it be next week? I’m looking into my crystal ball but it’s not clear yet….we’ll have to see how it plays out on Tuesday. Till then, Spike Marley is OUT.
Boy, ever since Natalie Cole and her father sung and appeared in the video together for “Unforgettable” we’ve had to be punished with similar matchups from beyond the grave. Coming soon to a TV commercial near you: Dolly Parton and Elvis Presley hawking Tennessee. This is the first time The King has ever appeared in a commercial with another celeb. The same cannot be said for Parton, who’s shared the spotlight with countless folks throughout her career, as well all know (the best one undoubtedly being Sly Stallone in Rhinestone).
Look, if you want to know all about Tennessee and are thinking about going there, why not ask your average joe who lived there for 28 years, like myself? Glad you asked. Let’s see. There’s the overrated tourist trap Pigeon Forge. There are a slew of TVA dams and parks. There’s the “sunsphere” still standing in Knoxville, that retarded contraption that was built for the crappy 1982 World’s Fair (the theme was ENERGY, people). There’s that downhome feeling where mixed couples still aren’t looked upon in a positive light. There are tons of southern baptists that preach my way or the highway. There’s the boring Atomic Museum in good old Oak Ridge, home of the atom bomb. Oh yeah, there’s also Graceland and Dollywood as well. Oh, and Nash Vegas, of course, which used to be respectable but has seen fit to only crank out Hollywood country crapola for years now.
Hey, I liked the place when I was living there (not for any of the given reasons, natch), but once I got out, let’s just say, I got to see what I was missing. A whole lot. And now I live in Pittsburgh. Hmmm. Yeah, Pittsburgh’s tons better. Come see us here instead.
Wow, is “American Idol” really only a few weeks away from the big finale? With six remaining contestants, the answer is a resounding YES. And we’re at that point in the season where the little things become more noticeable.
For one, Paula has a serious drinking problem. Anyone who saw her tear up after Elliott sang last night knows what I mean. Simon was even laughing, adding insult to the pathethic caricature that Paula has become. Secondly, Ryan Seacrest gets more annoying every week. He doesn’t have to do anything, because his act has just gotten tired. Dude, stop busting on Cowell….he brings way more to the ratings party than you ever will.
Okay, now it’s on to the competition. The contestants took on some great love songs last night, and had a little help from the legendary vocalist Andrea Bocelli and his producer, David Foster. More than anything, everyone really got some good advice from two very respected industry vets. But how would they fare live? Let’s check it out….
THE GOOD
I’m going to start with the really good, and that would be Chris Daughtry. Dude took on one of the most limp wristed songs of all time, “Have You Ever Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams. This song was from that limp-wristed movie, “Don Juan Demarco,” or something like that. But Chris’ performance was anything but limp-wristed. This dude can belt it out and make a wussy song have balls. Kudos bro, you are certainly in no danger of being kicked off this week.
Katharine McPhee sang Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing” and while the judges were lukewarm about it, I thought it was amazing. It really makes me wonder sometimes what the judges are watching…..yes, there is not another Whitney Houston and therefore Katharine took a big gamble, but come on…that was almost as good as the original. Of course, Katharine did her part to earn the male vote with a glorious display of cleavage.
Elliott Yamin sang “A Song For You” and this dude just continues to hang in there for one reason: he can sing like a mother. Not a mother in the true sense, but you know what I mean. Randy didn’t like the arrangement, which was kind of funny because David Foster made sure to chop up the song and make it different than the original. But even after Simon laughed at Paula’s water works, he admitted that Elliott’s vocal was “master class” material.
THE IN-BETWEEN
Paris Bennett took on Barbara Streisand’s “The Way We Were” and it was far from awful, but still nothing more than a B-plus compared to everyone else. Paula said Paris oversang it a bit, and there is some truth to that…wow, did I just agree with Paula Abdul? Lock me up. Anyway, there was a bit of fake something going on that I can’t pinpoint. Paris can sing her ass off, but still you don’t want less than a stellar performance at this stage.
Taylor Hicks is still my boy, but he’s in danger of getting kicked off after last night’s mediocre rendition of James Ingram’s “Just Once.” Come on dude, we know you can do better than that. Randy said it was the wrong song, Simon said Taylor looked “tight” up there, and that’s pretty much it. A good vocal, but it was boring as hell.
THE BAD
Kellie Pickler sang “Unchained Melody” and it was her second horrible performance in a row. Too bad for Kellie she doesn’t have Ace Young or Bucky Covington around anymore, because now her weaknesses are being exposed in a big way. Randy said there were pitch problems and that is being kind. If Kellie sticks around after this week, I’m convinced this thing is somehow rigged.
So let’s recap….Chris and Elliott are definitely safe. Katharine was great, but the fact that the judges didn’t like her performance puts her in danger of being in the bottom 3. Taylor is such a fan favorite but he also could be bottom 3 material this week…..Paris likely will be there and if Kellie isn’t, well then, see previous paragraph.
Also, let this be said…..we have to watch Andrea Bocelli sing tonight. I mean, dude has a great voice, but watching clips of him singing last night was kind of putting me to sleep. Am I alone in this thinking? In addition, David Foster might be a top-notch producer, but if he was my producer, I definitely would wind up decking him. I mean, calm down dude.
And Ryan….the more of Simon and the less of you, the better. Give the dude time to give his input before cueing the commercials.
Okay, i’m jumping off this soapbox now….see you all tomorrow.
Marley, OUT.
Jared Leto. Actor or musician? Who cares, I can’t stand him as either. Still he’s plowing forward with a new video from his band 30 Seconds To Mars. It’s apparently an homage to The Shining. Christ, not that borrowed idea again. Leto feels he can do some bragging, though, since his album’s sold a little over 130,000 copies.
“It’s nice to be seen as a legitimate example of how to do things the right way,” he said. “If the music is horrible, people won’t listen, but if it’s good some people will listen and will look beyond the stereotype.”
Ah, c’mon Jared, people are only listening for the novelty value, trust me. As far as the video is concerened,
The band is seen skateboarding through meandering hallways and performing at a 1920’s period ballroom party. When a member fails to stay away from a forbidden room, he is seduced by a ghostly apparition.
Eventually, the four musicians confront their alter egos as the video explores the idea of duplicity in a perhaps unintended parallel to Leto’s double career.
Let’s not get too deep here, people. It’s just a video that’s not even going to show up on Classic VH1 years from now.
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