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Well it is finally here. Howard Stern made his debut on Sirius satellite radio today. We’ve already discussed my alliance with XM, so I can’t tell you if it was any good or not. But hey, Howie is promising listeners stripper poles and live sex on his show. OK, is it just me or is listening to people have sex about as unoriginal as it can get? And who can see stripper poles on radio? Nice, Howard. How about something new and refreshing instead of boobs? I certainly don’t need to pay 13 bucks a month to hear the same old “Oh wow…look at those. And those are real? Oh honey those are perfect. Turn around and show us your ass…oh yeah. You got a couple stretch marks there, but I’d still do you. If only my penis wasn’t so small.” Still, Howie seems bitter. As per the article: On Monday, caller after caller wished Stern luck — and he reacted with annoyance. “I’ve been doing years and years of shows but I get irritated when people wish me luck,” he said. “You should have wished me luck 25 years ago.” Yeah that’s good. Get pissy with all the folks giving you money. Assclown. |
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Never mind the rampant, royalty-free downloading going on via myriad unauthorized web sites. Forget about how iPod culture has made buying actual CDs obsolete. Those issues are old news. The fresh new worry wrinkling music executives’ foreheads is the new satellite radio receivers being produced by XM and Sirius, which will allow users to record satellite broadcasts, manage song inventories, and create playlists–much like Apple’s popular iTunes software. The key difference? Labels get significantly lower compensation for music played on satellite radio than they do for songs sold on iTunes or purchased on a CD. Thus, the black hole draining the music industry of its revenue widens a little further…and sales of Zantac and Excedrin rise a little higher. |
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So Howard Stern is having his last day on regular radio today and have a parade and all that great crap. Big deal. For those not in the know, and well you should be, the real entertainment value on satellite radio is on XM. “Shock jocks” Opie and Anthony have been kicking out the jams for over a year now over on the XM network (they’ve had an illustrious radio history pre-XM as well, which you can read about on their site). Their show is hilarious, and has the feeling of hanging out with a few of your best pals and having a good time. Howard Stern, on the other hand, has ceased to be funny for years now, and all this media hype is all for nothing. Sirius has lagged behind in the satellite radio biz since its inception, and there’s no way this is going to make that much difference, especially when they have to foot a $500 million invoice for Hoo-Hoo. The other day on O&A, Anthony said it best. Strippers on the radio stink like shit on ice. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been channel surfing and every time I’ve gone by Howard’s show on E! he’s had another stupid bimbo talking about her tits and wanting to know if she’s hot enough to be a centerfold for Playboy. Who the hell cares? Howard’s only other shtick is to talk about his lack of penis length and oh boy, isn’t that side splitting comedy right there? Hardly. His crew are a drag, his guests are never interesting, and having the big idea to weigh some guy on the show’s bowel movement is about as retarded as any radio - satellite or regular - as it can get. So if you need to make a decision, go with O&A. Li’l Jimmy Norton’s there, Stalker Patti, Big A, Rich Vos, Bill Burr, Patrice O’Neal, and plenty of others that have the funniest four hours of radio on the planet. And if that’s not enough, you also get Ron and Fez on right after ‘em. God bless XM. God bless O&A. Howie can keep on measuring his penis and other peoples’ crap and try to come up with half a billion dollars’ worth of funny. This dude’s allegiance lies where it’s at, however. |
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OK, so I wake up this morning and turn on the tube and flip through the channels, and when I land on VH1, lo and behold there’s the new INXS. Does anyone wanna place bets on how soon this stinky new version of the group ends up in the bargain bins or on the shelves of your favorite used store? This is definitely one case where the band shouldn’t have played on. I didn’t keep up with their search for a new singer when it was on TV, but all I can say is that new guy (even if I remembered his name, he’d still only be worthy of the name “new guy”) reeks. The other day on the Opie and Anthony Show on XM radio, new guy and INXS did an interview, and new guy sounded like the most retarded “Man, I’m so mellow, and I really feel the music” kind of dude I’ve heard in a long time. It was obvious just from that that the guy isn’t in his element and this whole thing is pointless. INXS would be smart just to put itself to bed and completely forget this chapter. Ah, but I s’pose it’s just like Queen trotting out a fellow dinosaur as of late to replace Freddie during some concerts and people gettin excited about that. The baby boomers really are starving for those good old daze, aren’t they? |
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