It is with a heavy heart that we must suspend the Ruby Tuesday feature indefinitely. But fret not, gentle readers. We hope to resurrect the series in the not-too-distant future. Until then, enjoy that Lilac Time track while you can, because it’s coming down a week from now. D’oh.

Enjoying your XM radio that can also store songs you hear on the service and play them back in mp3 playlists? Excellent! Not so excellent for XM, however as the National Music Publishers’ Association is suing the company for “providing radios that allegedly let users reproduce and distribute copyrighted music without paying appropriate royalties.” If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The RIAA also filed a similar suit a while back. Per the article,

An XM spokesman said it pays royalties to writers and composers who are also compensated by its device manufacturers and that it was confident it would prevail and the lawsuit was without merit.

As Paul Westerberg once sang, “I hate music…sometimes I don’t.”

Well, the speculation is over. XM and Sirius satellite radio are going to merge into one company. The name of that company is as yet undetermined, and many feel the merger will meet with various resistance from the FCC and other factions. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Hopefully it will continue to be, but only time till tell.

Here’s a groovy recent interview with Ricky Gervais on Opie and Anthony’s XM show. Four parts in all. Dig it!

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Turning an about-face on its longtime strategy of attempting to drown radio listeners in a sea of aggressively bland, soulless, identical radio stations, Clear Channel has finally discovered the niche audiences that were there all along.

As part of a new initiative to be announced next week, Clear Channel intends to lock horns with satellite radio, rolling out new niche channels with names like Dank (”Hip Hop and Rock all rolled up into one big spliff”), Full Metal Racket (”It’s dark, it’s edgy, it beats, and it rocks”), and Mother Trucker (”a hearty serving of the best Southern Rock”). Clear Channel will also be expanding its HD radio service to 50 cities, from its current base of 28.

Can this old dog learn enough tricks to persuade people to shell out $200 for an HD radio receiver instead of signing on for satellite radio? Can the American public forgive Clear Channel for its numerous transgressions against music fans all across the country?

Stay tuned to find out.

David Lee Roth’s terrestrial radio show has been shitcanned and will be replaced by on-air gods Opie & Anthony. It’s a new move, considering O&A have an XM exclusive show, but now they will be sharing both the satellite and terrestrial airwaves. Can you dig it? I knew that you could.

Need proof that Hoo-Hoo Stern is a total prick when it comes to his overbearing and talentless ego? Then look no further to his statements regarding a long-rumored gag order against Opie and Anthony. Thanks for finally coming clean on one of many matters, Hoo-Hoo. Maybe you should also get some plastic surgery for your show, seeing how what you got done on yourself helped you none.

When Stern was asked by a caller about the gag order, he confirmed it by admitting, “That’s right. I believe in censoring anyone who is my enemy.” He also added, “I believe in censorship when it benefits me.”

O&A have also been pointing out what they call more hypocrisy by Stern for taking off certain Fridays, playing audio of Stern, Robin Quivers and Artie Lange discussing why it is important to be in the studio five days a week. “If you are not there on Fridays, then you are doing a disservice to your audience,” says Stern in the audio clip. “If you are going to do this job, then you show up every day and give it your best.”

Hoo-Hoo Stern is being sued by his former employer, CBS Radio. The giant conglomerate is saying Stern improperly used studio time to promote his move to Little Doggie Satellite Radio and therefore breached his contract. Hoo-Hoo had a little press conference on Tuesday trying to deflate the whole matter, but when you have $500 million, certainly paying CBS wouldn’t be too difficult, no?

Oh, Hoo-Hoo. Spend that money wisely.

And now, here’s a little video montage I created in tribute to XM’s greatest commodity, O & A. It originally aired on Sniff The Tip, but it now being shared for all at YouTube, and alas, here. Music by The Beastie Boys. Rock steady.

He still sucks! No, really, he does. He’s not worth half a billion for this kinda crap. And that’s not the Opie and Anthony fanboy in me saying this. It’s just…come on..,who cares? I guess the people who signed up for his huckster show do, so congrats on paying off his ripoff fee. Me, I’m drunk and call it like it is more than usual. No regrets. Hoo-hoo sucks.

Willie Nelson unveiled a gay-themed tune on Howard Stern’s show today. The track is called “Cowboys Are Secretly, Frequently (Fond Of Each Other)” and was written by Ned Sublette back in 1981. How many of Hoo-hoo’s fans secretly cringed, I wonder? Right, I know, Howie and his gang and fans are all for everyone. Hopefully Scott Stampp will record a similar tune and have all his Christian fans abandon him completely.

Continuing her quest for world domination, benevolent billionaire media tyrant Oprah Winfrey has signed a $55 million deal to produce a new satellite channel for XM Radio. Since Her Oprahness will undoubtedly be far too busy managing her TV shows, book club, magazine, web site, and Broadway play to produce much actual satellite radio content herself, the channel will rely on the Oprah JV Squad (e.g., interior designer Nate Berkus, diet guru Bob Greene) for the majority of its programming.

However, Oprah has not ruled out the possibility of an on-air smackdown in which she and Dr. Phil gang up on XM bad boys Opie and Anthony to demand that the young upstarts clean up their act, put some clothes on the ladies, and start giving back to society.

Shame those nice folks at Sirius went and spent a whole half-billion dollars to bring on that Fartman guy. While the satellite radio network’s initial subscription gains were highly encouraging, suggesting their astronomical expense might just pay out, some enterprising young whippersnappers may have thrown a wrench in the works.

Since the presumable goal of overspending on Howard Stern was to draw and keep paying subscribers for the long haul, that business model would be vulnerable if Stern’s program were instead made available to the masses for free, no satellite subscription required.

And that, dear friends, is exactly what has been happening. Since the very day of his satellite debut, pirated copies of Stern’s show have been made available via online file-sharing sites “just hours after he signs off,” according to the LA Times.

Enraged Sirius execs vow to “vigorously protect [their] intellectual property rights,” but so far have been unsuccessful in permanently squashing the online pirates. And, if past file-sharing furors are any indication, Stern’s new employers have a Sirius problem on their hands. These file-sharing pirates aren’t going to change their ways just because you ask them to.

Because, hey: Farts want to be free.

Ok, he’s not my hero, but after listening to him sit in on the Howard Stern show this week, I realize there is a lot more to Mr. Sulu than first meets the eye. I know it sounds like an odd combination, but Takei fits in well on the show. He has a great sense of humor, a velvet radio voice and surprisingly good timing.

But his best characteristic is that he’s a good sport. An Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator called into the show and, despite the fact that the Governator talked about how he’d like to take drivers’ licenses away from Asians just before asking George for a reach-around, Takei was blissfully naive, happy to have the opportunity to question Fake Arnold about his decision to veto the same-sex marriage bill in California. Fake Arnold finally agreed to sign the bill. After the segment, Takei was excited about the fact that history had been made that day. Howard let George go on and on, but before the show was over, he finally let Takei in on the joke. Takei took it in stride and admitted that he can be quite naive at times.

Howard has already mentioned having Takei back on the show after his week-long stint is over. He was set to be the show’s announcer (from Los Angeles) but having him in the New York studio has helped the satellite version of the show get off to a great start.

The Howard Stern show premiered on Sirius satellite radio yesterday. For those that have been living under a rock, Stern made the move to satellite because he was fed up with the restrictions of traditional terrestrial radio. The thought of uncensored Stern might frighten some people, but after listening to the first show, it really isn’t all that much different. Sure, instead of saying “the F-word,” he throws in the occasional “f*ck,” but Stern himself said that he doesn’t want the format to revolve around curse words, which just get boring with overuse.

The show’s new announcer is George Takei (Mr. Sulu on the original Star Trek), who will be serving as the “voice of the Howard Stern show.” Aside from being openly gay, Takei has a pretty good sense of humor and seems to fit in well with the rest of the cast.

The show had some technical difficulties early on, feedback and such, but after a few minutes, the show sounded fine. The content was traditional Stern – the highlight being the “revelations” – each member of the show admitted to one shocking thing they’ve done (or had done to them). Stern read the revelations and, in a week, he’ll reveal which revelation applies to which cast member. Considering some of the subject matter (cheating on your wife and getting caught, masturbating in a closet while family members go to the bathroom, waking up in the hospital after having your stomach pumped, only to find a same-sex acquaintance fondling your genitals) the revelations should provide some good material next week.

All in all, it’s good to hear Howard with the freedom he’s always wanted. Only time will tell if this move will be a good one for Stern, but so far, it sounds like he’s rejuvenated and energized, and ready to conquer a new medium.