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Yes, his rhythmic style is little more than a combination of Jay-Z and Snoop Dogg, but there is something charming about Kentucky white boy Kasper from the K (Timothy Hoggard to his mother). Maybe it’s the fact that he accepts that he’s a white boy, and forgoes the cliché hardcore gangsta scene in favor of sleazy club jams. And man, are these songs sleazy: there isn’t a moment on the Whatcha Gondo EP where Kasper isn’t talking or thinking about getting’ him some freaky. The super freak path is a slippery one, though; go too far, and you come off as a serial rapist, but Kasper is more fast-talking himbo than roofie-slipping perv. And with a calling card like the super-catchy, “Obsession”-cribbing title track, he is going to be up to his eyeballs in women for the foreseeable future. Isn’t that the primary reason why guys get into music in the first place? Sure, “Whatcha Gondo” might wind up as the “Boom Boom (Let’s Go Back to My Room)” of the new millennium, but as long as it helps him score women, we doubt Kasper will care much about his long-term legacy. (EO Music) |
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Holy Christ. Who even knew this dude was still making CDs? Look, plain and simple this is as bad as rap gets nowadays. Too $hort is still stuck in a bubble waxing about how great he is, what he has, and how he likes “big titties.” Yeah…go figure. Of course, what else to expect with tracks such as the stunning “Shittin’ On ‘Em” (”You a soldier, nigga I’m a vet, what?“) or how $hort embraces the English lexicon with the remarkable “F.U.C.K.Y.O.U.” (”Fuck you / Nigga, fuck you, too! / Nigga, F.U.C.K.Y.O.U.!“)? Yes, it’s all in a lazy, easy day’s work shitting out inconsequential track after inconsequential track and reaping the benefits of having absolutely no real talents and letting the record label pump money into your pockets. Must be real nice. But hey, who am I to complain when I can groove effortlessly to the sexy heat of “Pull Them Panties Down”? “Tryin’ to see you get naked,” exclaims Too at the beginning. Then the full-on erotica ensues: “Gotta see the pink now / G’wan pull them panties down” and “You need to let them panties leave ya ankles / Show ‘em you a bad bitch, fuck these stank hos.” Ready to pull out your wallet and let your money do the voting yet? No? Really? Why not? Doesn’t hearing $hort repeat “Gotta get a bitch and get my dick sucked” over and over on “Gangstas & Strippers” not get you horny, baby? Dayum! But really, who knew this dude was still making CDs? Yeesh. (Jive 2007) |
 Pop/rock band Augustana will release their new album, Can’t Love, Can’t Hurt, on April 29. And if you missed their performance at SXSW last week, fear not, because you can watch some of the show on www.crackle.com, or get there through the band’s MySpace page at www.myspace.com/augustana. The Samsung Sound Check series of free private concerts will kick off March 27 with Ne-Yo performing at House of Blues in New Orleans. Other acts in the series are Jimmy Eat World in Charlotte on March 30, Gym Class Heroes in Chicago on April 10, Paramore in Houston on April 29, and Sean Kingston in Las Vegas on May 14. A limited number of tickets will be available through radio promotions, street teams and online registration. In advance of their new album, Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings, Counting Crows will head out on tour (more…) Filed under: Rock and Pop and Alternative and Rap and Hip Hop and Country and Concerts Comments: None |
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Yes, we know that writing about music is like dancing about architecture (even if we’re not convinced that Elvis Costello said it first), but let’s be realistic: if you’re a music fan who likes to read, you can achieve a very special level of bliss when you get the opportunity to dive into a book about music. The Bullz-Eye staff knocked their heads together and came up with a list of 45 books that span several musical genres and include autobiographies and biographies, histories of record companies and music magazines, essay collections, and straight-up reference tomes. It’s not intended to be all-encompassing, nor would we presume to call it a definitive list of the best music books of all time. It’s simply a selection of some of our personal favorites, none of which would be out of place on a music fan’s bookshelf…and you can find it right here. We also got some of the authors in on the fun, as well as some of our favorite musicians, which resulted in enough responses from folks from Kyle Vincent to Henry Rollins to warrant Rock of Pages: Celebrity Edition. But we know: we’ve missed one (or more) of your favorites. We always miss one (or more) of your favorites. So call us out already and leave a comment. We can always use another addition to our Barnes & Noble shopping list… Filed under: Rock and Pop and Alternative and Rap and Hip Hop and Country and Jazz and Music Labels and Songs and News and Artists and Videos and External Music Comments: 4 Comments |
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Hollywood Week began last night on “American Idol,” and they are definitely changing things up this season. For one, by tonight, if someone sucked on their initial Hollywood audition, they would be given a second chance a few days later. Secondly, we went from 164 contestants down to 50 after some brutal, immediate eliminations. Thirdly, no group performances. Fourthly, they could play an instrument while performing. And finally, we will have our 24 finalists by tonight. Geez, that was fast. Anyway, in making short work of Hollywood Week, we were asked to give Fox an extra hour of our day, as it was a 2-hour episode, and tonight we go back to one hour. I’m not complaining, only telling you that there is a lot to summarize in short space here. So I’ll do it by telling you who looked great, who looked mediocre and who sucked and went home. Here we go…. Absolute finalists: David Hernandez—I don’t remember this guy from the initial rounds, but he sang “Love the One You’re With,” with a really cool arrangement to boot. He was really, really good and I would definitely peg him as top 24 material. Amanda Obermeyer, the biker nurse, threw another twist (more…) Filed under: Rock and Pop and Alternative and Rap and Hip Hop and Country and Lyrics and American Idol Comments: None |
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Say hello to Atlanta rapper Rocko, who has apparently spent years writing, producing and developing major label talent (though curiously, the press release does not name a single one of these artists). He makes his solo debut with a song called, no joke, “Umma Do Me.” The press release goes on to talk about how Rocko is at “the forefront of the new Southern movement in hip-hop where business acumen and consumer awareness reign supreme.”
Uh huh. So that’s why he spends the entire video throwing Monopoly money at the camera? Or up into the air at the club? Because of his business acumen? Which is it, Rocko, are you a savvy businessman and phony playa, or splashy pimp with no fiscal common sense whatsoever? You can’t have it both ways, dawg. Guys who make it rain in da club are clowns, and eventually, they’re broke clowns. As for consumer awareness, doesn’t that just mean that Rocko knows what sells, and is pandering to the lowest common denominator for a buck? In other words, he doesn’t stand for anything more than making money. That’s not an example of business savvy. It just means he’s willing to whore himself. Now, let’s talk about the lyrics. I’m no hip-hop scholar, but I’ve heard enough to know that this is lazy, lazy shit. “I’m from the old school, you’re from the new school / My old school costs more than your new school” I want to call up Chuck D and read these to him, just to see how angry it makes him. Here it is, bam! Chuck would say, “God damn! This is a wack jam.” Now for my favorite part: the following line repeats during every chorus: “Wanna see how’s it done? Watch me do me.” Is this song an ode to self-love? If he’s doing himself, is that slang for masturbation? Naw, dude, I don’t want to watch you do you. Ah, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the comments on the video’s YouTube page (embedding, sadly, is disabled). Check out these gold-star props Rocko has received from his fans: “nigga killed sayin u might wife her i one night her killin it. do what it do” “This song is da shit! I just do me all day everyday!!Baby just rep yaself and where you from dont worry bout all des otha haters. they jus bitches” I, on the other hand, will side with the following comment: “haha do yaself bra! junior varsity shit nigga” Enough of this phony gangster bullshit, already. No one’s impressed. Enjoy the moment while it lasts, Rocko, because your moment in the sun will be fleeting and unpleasant. For everyone. Filed under: Rap and Songs and Lyrics and Videos and External Music and Seen Your Video Comments: None |
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Last night’s “American Idol” was, thankfully, the last round of the initial auditions before we head to Hollywood. Seven cities in four weeks, and what they did last night was essentially filler–a few great auditions and a few nut jobs from each city that they saved for one episode. Whew. After about two or three of those first shows, I’m begging for them to speed things up and get to Hollywood. Thankfully, we’re there and things usually move quickly at this point. First, the freaks from last night… 26-year-old Luke was this really large dude in an even larger white T-shirt, and he sang George Michael’s “Faith” horribly out of tune. Simon said something about the “massive T-shirt” being too much, and he pretty much said what I was thinking. 21-year-old Tiffany McCampbell was a church choir singer who just shouted through her entire audition. Then there was Ashley, 19, along with twin brothers Chris and Corey. Ashley is this cute blond who was dating one brother and then now, the other..I’m still confused by the whole dynamic, and I’m even more confused at why the brothers still like each other. Anyway, they all auditioned. First the brothers, who did some rap (one the beatbox, the other the rapping) about why they were better than last season’s Brittanum twins. If it weren’t for the rapping dude forgetting the lyrics, it wasn’t all that bad, but not good enough for Hollywood. Then Ashley took her turn, after letting Paula and Simon hold her dog (what is she, Paris Hilton?)….Ashley thought she was talented, but as Simon correctly pointed out, it was “excruciating.” Simon added that Ashley is probably used to getting what she wants, and she even agreed. Next.. Jay Smoove, whose real name (more…) Filed under: Rock and Pop and Alternative and Rap and Hip Hop and Country and American Idol Comments: None |
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Last night, “American Idol” took their audition round for Season 7 to Charleston, South Carolina. It was humorous and disturbing at the same time to hear Simon Cowell ask Randy Jackson if they were on the “west coast.” And it was a pretty weak batch of auditions in all, with only 23 contestants earning golden tickets to Hollywood. For those of you doing the math, that’s 23 out of 10,000, or 0.23 %. Well, no one said it was easy to become the next American Idol. With that, on to the freaks….. Raysharde was the first audition, and with an afro that would make Tito Jackson jealous and a voice that he compared to Clay Aiken, you had the makings of a freak show. But then, dude wasn’t horrible, it’s just that he was TRYING too hard to be Clay Aiken. Think about that for a minute. Are you as frightned as I am? The judges were, too. DeANNA, who corrected Simon more than once about how her name was pronounced, was a 27 year old waitress from the same small town in North Carolina as Kellie Pickler. But while Kellie was a charming, naive, country girl; DeANNA was a bitter, shouting lunatic. The best part was her talking about how her customers drove her crazy on Sundays for “all you can eat day.” Crystal and Randy met online at the “American Idol” message boards (more…) Filed under: Rock and Pop and Alternative and Rap and Hip Hop and Country and American Idol Comments: None |
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You might think that Kris Kross’ legacy rests solely on one song or more importantly their style of wearing their pants backwards. But no, music fans, their true legacy lies within the “Make My Video” video game. Behold and cower in its glory.
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A publicist sent this to me yesterday, and I found it amusing on a number of levels. For starters, Pittsburgh Slim looks like Zach Braff in a do rag, and when they show him lip syncing “I like when girls kiss girls,” that low voice coming from this DJ Jazzy Trevor, it looks hilariously unrealistic. Second, the actual song, if you can call it that, is three keyboard squawks laid to a drum machine. Not a new trend, but it does amaze me how music-free music is slowly becoming. Lastly, I must confess, the girl, Penthouse pet Krista Ayne, does a damn good striptease. So yeah, the song has little to no redeeming value. But sometimes that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Filed under: Rap and Hip Hop and Podcasts and Songs and Videos and External Music and Seen Your Video Comments: None |
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Yes, in a move that will sure to be as “alarming” as when Jenny McCarthy posed for Candies shoes on the toilet, rap artist Nas’ new album is going to be called Nigga. Nas says people “shouldn’t trip on the album’s title; the songs are crazier than the title.” Still, it’s still caused an uproar with the likes of Jesse Jackson who said he wished Nas would use his talents to uplift and not to degrade. |
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“Nickel Bags” for your pleasure.
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Consider…bubble-goth.
Or, better yet, don’t. Especially not if it’s anything like the God-awful cover of Bauhaus’s “She’s in Parties” that’s been provided for your listening “pleasure” by Estonia’s latest export, Kerli. Filed under: Pop and Alternative and Rap and Songs and News and Artists and External Music Comments: None |
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Welcome to the first of a series of blog posts featuring great stuff spotted on MySpace Music. It can be good, bad, and ugly. Or, as we’re about to explain, worse.  The NFL’s investigating whether or not Pac-Man’s shield logo infringes on league trademarks. Poor Pac-Man Jones. He goes on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel to share his side of the story–translated loosely, in a few words, “I am not really remembering what Mr. Commissioner Goodell told me about keeping my nose clean. What was it he told me, again?”–and yet he just can’t seem to hold on to the headlines to save his life, because Mike Vick’s antihero PR machine is outflanking him at every turn. But he persists. Following in the steps of pro sports miscreants-cum-rappers Jim “Punky QB” McMahon, Allen Iverson, and Ron Artest, Pac-Man’s livin’ da streetz life with his National Street League rap label, a collaboration (coll-abortion?) with producer/henchman Spoaty. The raps are about–you guessed it–spending lots of money. “I spent a hundred grand all in one night!” they sing on the almost completely mindless “Yah Nah Mean.” Just like Pac-Man allegedly did in Vegas last winter after the NBA All-Star game, when the most notorious of his myriad suspicious activities went down. Witnesses claim Pac-Man took nearly that much money into a strip club and was “making it rain,” euphemism for throwing dollar bills around. Anyway, maybe if you’re a big rap fan and someone like Pac-Man is singing about poppin’ rubber bands off bundles of $100 bills, he comes across with some sort of street cred. Unlike a lot of rappers setting their stories to a rump-thumping beat, you know for sure that Pac-Man’s living his. The music doesn’t sound very good to us, but give Pac-Man some time. If he pops a few more rubber bands and buys some serious studio time, Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson prove that throwing the best technology at a recording really can help make a big hit, no matter what you’re starting out with. Of course, if he’s making records, that means he’s not working. And if he’s not working, the Titans certainly aren’t passing out more rubber-banded bundles of Benjamins. |
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A funny thing happened a couple days ago on VH1’s World Series of Pop Culture, and every record label in the world should be scared to death because of it. In a match-up between Almost Perfect Strangers 2.0 and Remo-Leen-Teen-Teen, the last two contestants, Almost Perfect Strangers’ Lucien and Remo-Leen’s Warren, faced off to decide which team would advance to the semifinals. The category was “Party Like It’s 2006,” and host Pat Kiernan would read a couple lyrics to a pop song, and Lucien and Warren had to name the artist. The songs were by artists like Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Shakira and Paris Hilton, all pretty big names. They didn’t get a single one right. Think about that for a second. Those songs are only a year old, and these guys, both very knowledgeable trivia buffs, had already forgotten every single one of them. And to drive the point home further, neither one of them was even embarrassed about it. In fact, after the third or fourth missed answer, Lucien laid it out on the table. “I don’t mean to sound like an old fogey, but today’s songs are terrible!” The audience erupted with applause. This, to me, is the most awesome thing that possibly could have happened. Blame illegal downloading all you want, music industry goons, but the real reason you’re losing so much money has less to do with downloading – after all, sales were never higher than when Napster was at its peak – and more to do with the fact that you’re not releasing music worth owning. A few other questionable business decisions also contributed to the decay, such as: - Allowing your product to be used as a loss leader in order to lure people into stores that don’t specialize in, and therefore place no real emphasis on, music Record labels survived the tough times in the past by having strong back catalogs that could pull in some extra coin when the current crop doesn’t pan out. If the labels think they’re hurting now, what do they think things will be like five or ten years from now, when the back catalog is Paris Hilton, R. Kelly and Fall Out Boy? By missing every question in that category, Lucien and Warren inadvertently summed up everything that is wrong with music today: simply put, the music industry lost respect for its own product, and eventually, so did everyone else. |
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