Last night’s “American Idol” featured the final four contestants: Melinda, Blake, Lakisha and Jordin. And the guest mentor was Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees, giving the finalists a wealth of great pop material to choose from. Some of the song choices were weird, but some of them were perfect. It was not a night where anyone completely pulled away from the pack, but it likely has given us an indication of who the final two will be.

On to the recap….

MELINDA DOOLITTLE
Melinda sang “Inside and Out,” and made some comment about being the first solo artist to attempt that song. Um, wrong Melinda, Feist did it on her first major label album, and it’s an awesome cover. But that’s beside the point. She started out kind of slow and boring but it got better throughout the song. Randy said it was solid, Paula said her vocals were “spot on,” and Simon said it wasn’t incredible, and that it was like a backing vocalist performance. Ouch. Then later on, Melinda took on “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?” and the second half of the song was nothing short of spectacular. Randy said it was much better than the first performance, Paula said she’s still waiting for that huge performance from Melinda, and Simon said the second half of the song probably put her in the semi-finals. Folks, Melinda isn’t going home.

BLAKE LEWIS
Blake started with “You Should Be Dancin’” and did lots of his trademark beatboxing. It was a cool arrangement but something got lost in the shuffle–namely, Blake’s vocal ability. Randy said the beatboxing didn’t work this time, Paula said it was pitchy, and Simon said it was “unique but terrible.”
Then later, Blake did “This Is Where I Came In,” a more obscure Bee Gees song and one on which he could go nowhere but up from the first performance. Randy said it was better, but that even with minimal beatboxing he just needs to tone that down, Paula said Blake is a “contemporary rebel,” (uh, whatever), and Simon said it was completely tuneless and that Blake didn’t have a good night. Yes, he will be in the bottom two for sure.

LAKISHA JONES
Lakisha started off with “Stayin’ Alive” and it was a bit of a different arrangement but I thought she did a good job. Not great, but good. Randy said Lakisha didn’t need to change the arrangement so much, Paula said she took the tempo down too much, and Simon said Lakisha was back to her shouting again and that it was “scary in parts.” Later on, Lakisha sang “Run To Me” and it was, again, just pretty good. Randy said it was much better than her first song, Paula said Lakisha is “still a champ” (again, what?), and Simon said it was better than the first song but that he thought both Lakisha and Blake were vulnerable. Yeah, pretty much.

JORDIN SPARKS
Even before Jordin took the stage for her first song, “To Love Somebody,” I had a feeling it was going to be awesome. And it pretty much was. Randy said it was the best vocal of the night so far, Paula agreed, and Simon said it was the best song choice and best performance of the night. Later on, Jordin sang “Woman in Love,” a song recorded by Barbara Streisand. It was very good but not as good as the first performance. Randy said it was pitchy and not her best, Paula agreed, and Simon said it was “old-fashioned and pageanty” but that, well, Jordin is only 17. The judges seem to be amazed by that fact every week, but it bears repeating. Jordin is only SEVENTEEN. And she’s probably going to be battling Melinda on the next to last episode of this season.

So you already know my bottom two, if there is one: Blake and Lakisha. But if there’s a bottom three, throw Jordin in there too. My choice for heading home tonight is Lakisha, if only because all of the little girls voting for Blake all these weeks will continue to do so. Plus, both of them have been at the bottom before. Regardless, this is a competition between Melinda and Jordin, and has been for weeks….well, at least until we all breathed a sigh of relief when Sanjaya was kicked off.

See you all tomorrow with the results….

Last night’s “American Idol” featured two eliminations, because the big shocker last week during “Idol Gives Back” was that everyone was safe. So it was back to business, as host Ryan Seacrest said. So after some weird banter between Seacrest and Simon, it was on to the show. Does anyone out there understand that creepy banter?

Since the results show is now typicall an hour long, with an extra performance other than by the “mentor” of the week, we were graced with Robin Thicke, who has a hit song right now called “Lost Without U.” Um, people, I have to tell you, I just don’t get it. Any schmuck could sing that song in the same falsetto he did, and it kind of put me to sleep. Let’s put it this way….including Jon Bon Jovi, there were seven better singers on the stage last night. More, if you count the backup singers.

Okay, then it was finally on to business. Melinda, Phil and Lakisha were brought to the center of the stage. Melinda was the first to safety, then Lakisha, sending Phil home in a “Blaze of Glory.” My wife cried–she really did. Simon rejoiced on the inside as another bald contestant was sent home.

Then throughout the show, they brought back former champs Ruben Studdard, Fantasia and Taylor Hicks to ask for more money to help the kiddies.

Then it was Bon Jovi’s turn. They did the single from their forthcoming album, “(You Want To) Make A Memory,” and it wasn’t exactly the rocker you’d expect after the way Jon coached the contestants. Still, it’s a really good song….the kind that I think has the potential to be one of their biggest hits.

Then it was down to Jordin, Blake and Chris. Jordin was safe, leaving best buds Blake and Chris to swap hugs and kisses before Chris was sent packing. I mean, we all knew that was coming, didn’t we?

So it’s down to Blake, Lakisha, Melinda and Jordin–or, Blake and three divas. I still think this is coming down to Jordina and Melinda, but Blake and Lakisha showed this week that they have the potential to win it all as well. It’s going to get interesting, that’s for sure….starting with what I think Ryan Seacrest called “boogie week” with mentor Barry Gibb. Which of course means that no one will be favored. See you next week…

We knew going in that none of the remaining contestants on “American Idol” were rocker types. Gina Glocksen was long gone and I can’t for the life of me think of anyone else from this season that fit the mold. But there was Jon Bon Jovi and his keyboard player to help coach them and watch them perform his songs. Surprisingly, many of them brought their A game, and some of them to the point where it may have saved their ass from elimination based on last week’s holdover votes. Here are yesterday’s performances ranked, and after that we’ll have to have some fun with math to figure out who is going home:

1. Blake Lewis was ranked last here a week ago and I thought he was in serious danger after that horrible sensitive-guy-on-stool rendition of “Imagine.” But yesterday he broke out the beat boxing again, and somehow put together an awesome arrangement of “You Give Love A Bad Name.” I was skeptical, but dude had to know he was in danger based on last week, and he connected on the long ball last night. Randy said it was the most original arrangement ever on the show, Paula said Blake really put himself out there and took a chance, and Simon said it was brave and should keep him around another week.

2. Lakisha Jones sang “This Ain’t A Love Song,” a rare Bon Jovi track that has a bit of soul. Meaning, it was the perfect song for her. And I had Lakisha at #5 last week, so she also may have saved her own ass because she was incredible. Randy said it was pitchy at the start but that Lakisha brought it around, Paula said she did her thing, and Simon planted a wet kiss on Lakisha’s LIPS afterward. That was awkward, creepy and entertaining all at the same time. But what that meant is Simon really dug it.

3. Melinda Doolittle was great as usual, but she was slightly overshadowed by Lakisha and Blake last night. Melinda sang “Have a Nice Day” and I was thinking she gave it the Tina Turner treatment. Then Randy and Simon both said the same thing. Randy admitted it wasn’t Melinda’s best, but still great. Paula said Melinda is a rock star, and Simon said Melinda is still in a different league vocally than everyone else.

4. Phil Stacey kicked things off with an awesome rendition of “Blaze of Glory.” I mean, this was his best performance yet and really suited his voice. But the problem is, Phil was still out-performed by three others last night and could be in danger. Randy said it was Phil’s best performance to date, Paula said it was the best opening song of the season so far, and Simon said it was “just okay,” and that he feared Phil could be going home.

5. Jordin Sparks sang “Livin’ On a Prayer” and it was not bad, but she really took on a difficult song to sing. Jon Bon even admitted that. Randy said Jordin isn’t really a rock girl, and that the verses were rough; Paula said Jordin “went for it” but that the song was out of her range; and Simon said it was like something out of the “Addams Family,” because Jordin tried to rock out her hair style to fit the song, and it didn’t exactly work. He also said it was “shrieking” and “terrible.” That is not a good sign.

6. Chris Richardson is the obvious choice for elimination. He sang “Wanted Dead Or Alive,” and while he threw a little of his R&B flavor in, it just was very mediocre due to the fact that Chris followed Blake. Randy said Chris did his thing, Paula agreed, and Simon said Chris did as much as he could possibliy do, but that it may not be good enough. I couldn’t have said that any better.

Okay, so last week’s rankings looked like this:

1. Melinda
2. Jordin
3. Phil
4. Chris
5. Lakisha
6. Blake

Adding up the places I’ve come up with, here is the average placement of the 2 weeks’ performances:

Melinda 2
Phil 3.5
Jordin 3.5
Lakisha 3.5
Blake 3.5
Chris 5

What this means is Melinda is unequivocally safe, and Chris is the first to leave. But otherwise, this thing is completely up in the air. The other one going home, I’m thinking, is Phil. Even though he was great last night, Lakisha and Blake were that much better, and Jordin was too awesome last week.
I guess we’ll find out tonight. No two hour Idol Gives Back, just one hour of the regular fluff and results, and Bon Jovi!

While there is still no official word on when Guns N’ Roses will release their Chinese Democracy album, there is word that some of the band’s tour dates overseas have been postponed. Bassist Tommy Stinson has a wrist injury that has forced the band to pull out of shows in South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and Japan that were to begin tonight.

The original members of the legendary Spinal Tap are reuniting for the Live Earth show at London’s Wembley Arena on July 7. The band even has a new single called “Warmer Than Hell,” to fit the global warming theme of the event.

With an appearance on “Dancing With The Stars” scheduled for May 1 and other numerous national TV gigs in the coming weeks, Meat Loaf is already in promotion mode for his upcoming “Three Bats” tour that kicks off July 18 in New York City’s MSG Theatre. Here are Read the rest of this entry »

Last night’s “Idol Gives Back” results show started off with Ryan Seacrest claiming that this would be the “most shocking result” in the history of the show. Surely he didn’t mean Melinda was going home? Or Jordin Sparks, after that awesome performance on Tuesday? I have to admit, I was scared.

Then they cut over to Ellen DeGeneres, who was the satellite co-host to a plethora of musical artists, and there was an otherwise star-studded group of guest performers and visitors. It was a long show, and I promise you I’ll try to sum it up in as few words as possible.

Musical guests who performed live: Earth, Wind & Fire, Il Divo, Rascal Flatts, Josh Groban with an African children’s choir, Kelly Clarkson with Jeff Beck, Celine Dion with the ghost of Elvis, and Annie Lennox. EWF was awesome, Josh Groban makes me irritated and I’m not sure why, and Kelly Clarkson was as good as I’ve ever heard her….and proved that she could still blow away anyone else who’s ever won this thing. Oh, and a word on Il Divo…I’d never seen these guys before….but really, who wants to watch four opera singers doing pop? Big freaking yawn-fest.

They also showed the judges visiting various places like Africa, and battered parts of America such as New Orleans….it was all heartfelt, riveting and frightening at the same time. But then, the show on this night was a telethon so this is what they had to do.

Quincy Jones and Bono both had their chances to work with the Idol contestants. Jones wrote a song specifically for this show, and the Idols performed it…and it was, as you would expect, really great. Bono coached them but they didn’t show him until the end of the show, and they performed another group song as the show ended. (And for the whole show, the contestants were dressed as the Good Humor Man…what was that all about?).

Meanwhile, other folks who made random appearances were Ben Stiller, who gave us a terrifying rendition of The Little River Band’s “Reminiscing” in various segments, trying to raise millions of dollars in the process. Dude also gave a shout out to Pure Prairie League….oddly enough, I am that band’s publicist. Ben, the check is in the mail.

They showed both Madonna and Carrie Underwood in Africa, with Underwood performing The Pretenders’ “Stand By You” to a bunch of kids there. I’m not sure why, but it was mildly disturbing.

Jack Black got up on the main stage and sang Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose,” and then asked for the judges to honestly critique him. The best was Simon, who said it was better than Sanjaya, but then it got funnier. Seal was actually sitting next to Randy Jackson! That was probably the highlight of the show…sorry, Elvis.

There was also a video of a bunch of celebs singing “Stayin’ Alive,” including Teri Hatcher, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, Hugh Grant, and that’s about all I remember.

Okay, now for the shocking results. Throughout the show, the contestants were brought to safety one by one. First, Melinda. Big sigh of relief. Then, Blake. I was surprised there. Then, Phil. Good for him. Then, Lakisha. Uh-oh. That left Chris and Jordin. And all of a sudden, my wife says, “maybe the shocker is that no one gets eliminated.” Why, yes, that’s it! I agreed and knew it was coming, and that’s what happened. Chris was safe, leaving Jordin, but then Ryan said Jordin was safe too. Which means the votes are carried over and we have double elimination next week.

I think they said they raised like $30 million by the end of the show, and I’m sure that at least doubled by the end of the night. Good for them, as that much money really has to make some kind of difference somewhere.

But now back to reality, and back to the competition……Phil, Blake, Chris, Lakisha…….you’ve got a 50/50 chance next week of being eliminated. So bring your A game. See you all then…

Tonight’s “American Idol” was a bit of a prelude to the bigger show tomorrow, which is a 2-hour “Idol Gives Back” episode. Basically a portion of the voting proceeds tonight will go to charity, namely to help needy communities both here and in places like Africa.

Ryan Seacrest started out the show by saying he was excited to have Bono as this week’s mentor, but then I didn’t see Bono in any of the segments with contestants. So either Seacrest was mistaken, or Bono didn’t want to be filmed. Hmmm. Well, being that this was a show for charity, I’ll reserve judgement and just get to the performances, in order of my own power rankings.

1. Melinda is still the champ until someone knocks her off that perch. She sang Faith Hill’s “There Will Come a Day” and, as you would expect, it was phenomenal. Like, in another league, again. Randy said it was “so dope,” Paula said it was magical, and Simon said the best part was that it wasn’t a “copycat” performance, but rather that Melinda made it believeable and that it was like a “vocal master class.” Yeah, pretty much.

2. Jordin went last, and used the pimp spot to her advantage. Jordin sang “You’ll Never Walk Alone” and though it started out just a tad pitchy, she delivered the song with a conviction you may never hear a 17-year-old match again. Jordin is the only one in this competition that comes close to Melinda, and may even have enough talent and charisma to win it all. Randy said it was her best vocal, and one of the best in the competition ever (not sure about that), Paula said it was an amazing song and a “lovely job,” and Simon said it was fantastic.

3. Phil took advantage of the fact that he may have found his niche with country music, singing Garth Brooks’ “The Change.” It wasn’t exactly twangy, but more like a Michael Bolton-esque performance.
I thought it started good but got a little boring–however, the judges loved it. Randy said Phil is “back again” with a nice vocal, Paula said Phil has found his comfort zone and that it was his best vocal, and Simon said it was a good choice and that Phil could wind up going really far here.

4. Chris went first and sang Eric Clapton’s “Change the World.” I thought it was just okay, but that Chris helped himself with some nice vocal acrobatics toward the end. Randy said that Chris was “in it to win it,” Paula said she was proud of him, and Simon said that he’s feeling like the competition is just starting and that it was a great way to start the night (i.e., Simon shares my sentiment that he’s just glad Sanjaya is off the show).

5. Lakisha once again took on another former Idol champ, singing Fantasia’s “I Believe.” Comparing Lakisha to Fantasia really only shows Lakisha’s flaws and that is a problem. It wasn’t quite as bad as when she tried to sing a Carrie Underwood song, but it was still just okay. Randy said it was a great song choice but that it’s hard to match up to Fantasia, Paula said it was great but not quite Fantasia, and Simon said it was an emotional performance but that some it was shouted.

6. Blake sang John Lennon’s “Imagine” and I’m going to come right out and say it. It was BORING. Like, really boring. Randy said it was a good choice but just “aight,” Paula said it was beautiful and simple and she liked it, and Simon said it’s hard to pick a song like that and make a great performance out of it. In other words, Simon was saying that Blake didn’t destroy it, but he didn’t really separate himself from the pack with it, either. I think Blake separated himself the wrong way and may be going home.

So that’s it. Six remaining contestants took on songs that had inspirational connotation and some were awesome, some were really good, and some were just okay. Consider that this is a competition between Melinda and Jordin, and you shouldn’t be surprised to see any of the other four make an exit from here on out. I think Lakisha and Blake have a similar chance of going home, but that Blake was less inspiring and therefore may have punched his ticket first.

A 2-hour show tomorrow? A star-studded lineup including Carrie Underwood’s legs? Will there be more leg than Haley Scarnato? Will Underwood sing as nasally as she always does? Will Bono actually make an appearance? Will 2 hours be too long? Well, I can certainly answer that last question with a resounding “YES.” But I’ll be watching with the rest of you. See you then…..

Christmas came early last night, as Sanjaya finally got booted off of “American Idol.” I have to admit, I didn’t see it coming and that made it even sweeter. Dude obviously sucked even more than usual on Tuesday night, and he couldn’t overcome the fact that everyone else in this competition is light years better than he is, stupid hair and stupid mustache or not.

But just like last week, we were tortured with a one-hour results show. The group song was first, “I’m Alright,” and for some reason it was more bearable than usual. Then the first guest artist (is this becoming a trend with multiple guests?) was Fergie, who, if you can get past all the weird performance techniques, is really quite a good singer.

Then Ryan Seacrest launched into more about next week’s “Idol Gives Back” episode, promising more stars than originally announced. Here is what scares me: the show will probably be a 3-hour marathon.

Finally, the contestants were broken up into three groups: Sanjaya, Lakisha and Blake; Phil, Jordin and Chris; and Melinda. Ryan told Melinda she was safe, and then promptly asked her to join the group she thought rounded out the top 4. Melinda did the politically correct thing (did you expect anything else?) and just sat in the middle of the stage. Ryan then told her to move toward the Phil/Jordin/Chris group and we had our bottom 3 of Sanjaya, Lakisha and Blake. I knew Lakisha would be there but I was surprised with the other two–I expected Sanjaya would keep his charade going longer, and while I thought Blake underachieved Tuesday night, the judges disagreed with me. But there he was.

After a shameless promotion for “Shrek 3,” Martina McBride performed and was as awesome as she always is. There is no flash, no performance technique, no fluff with Martina….she just sings her ass off every time. Then her daughter jumped up on stage and had some banter with Seacrest and the contestants, and let’s just say the girl has a future in comedy.

The first to be sent back to safety was Blake, and it was down to Sanjaya and Lakisha. I really thought Lakisha was going home, but when Ryan said the words, “Sanjaya, you are going home tonight,” I had that same feeling I got when the ball rolled through Bill Buckner’s legs, or when Scott Norwood’s field goal attempt went wide right. Yeah, I’m still a New York homer, but I digress…..Sanjaya is finally off this show, and now we have a real competition.

But folks, I’m here to tell you that this will be a two person race of Melinda and Jordin…..the next four eliminations can go any way they will, because it will still come down to those two. Or, maybe someone will totally surprise us the next few weeks. That’s why they play the games, and that’s why having Sanjaya off this show is like fog lifting from the airport.

Rock on, America, and see you next week…..

Last night “American Idol” went country. And being that there are no Carrie Underwoods, Bucky Covingtons or Kellie Picklers among the remaining seven contestants, it was, for the most part, a big train wreck. Martina McBride was the coach this week, and she was a good choice because she may be the best female singer in her genre. So without further adieu, here is last night’s recap:

THE GOOD

Jordin Sparks sang “Broken Wing” and as she was singing, I turned to my wife and said, “Jordin could win this thing.” She just gets better every week, and it’s almost like she still hasn’t shown us what she’s really capable of. Randy said it was “the bomb,” Paula said it was fantastic, and Simon said it was the first time that he believed Jordin could win the whole thing.

Melinda Doolittle was awesome as usual, but she’s got to be looking in her rear view mirror at Jordin now. Melinda sang “Trouble Is A Woman” and as always it was completely believable. Randy said it was another solid performance, Paula said it was the right song choice, and Simon said it was a fantastic, Tina Turner-esque performance but that Melinda should lose the whole, “I’m surprised you like me so much” thing. Amen to that.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Phil Stacey sang Keith Urban’s “Where the Blacktop Ends” and it was pretty forgettable. The judges, however, disagreed with me. Randy said Phil could have a career in country music, Paula said it was good from the beginning, and Simon said he finally saw some personality in Phil’s performance.

Chris Richardson sang “Mayberry” and he was also pretty boring. Randy said Chris showed no emotion, Paula said the joy and love didn’t come through, and Simon said he heard a “non-descript, nasally, tinny vocal” that was “insignificant.” Wow. I didn’t think it was that bad, but the judges’ comments may push Chris out the door this week.

Blake had the pimp spot and sang Tim McGraw’s “When the Stars Go Blue,” but he was pitchy and didn’t really do the song justice. I think I would have liked Phil to do this one instead. Anyway, Randy said Blake picked the right song, Paula said he is the whole package, and Simon said he wasn’t jumping out of his chair. I have to agree with Simon, it was just okay.

THE BAD

Lakisha Jones sang Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take The Wheel,” and I really thought she was going to take a big swing and hit the ball out of the park, showing up former Idol champ Underwood in the process. But all I felt was the wind from Lakisha whiffing at the pitch. The verse was fine but when she launched into the chorus it was painful to watch. Randy said there were pitch problems and that he expected more, Paula agreed with Randy, and Simon said it was disjointed, like “eating a hamburger for breakfast.” Personally I don’t have a problem with a hamburger for breakfast, but I see his point. Lakisha has been awesome but she may be leaving this week.

Sanjaya reverted back to his sucky self, singing Bonnie Raitt’s “Something To Talk About.” He wore a bandana on his head and was just ridiculous in every way. But lucky for him, and I do mean LUCKY, this kid has the support of Vote for the Worst, Howard Stern, and the rest of America who are trying to turn the show into a joke. Randy said it was like karaoke and added, “What are we doing here?” EXACTLY. Paula said Sanjaya loves adversity (what?) and Simon said it was utterly horrendous. When Ryan Seacrest rushed to Sanjaya’s defense, Simon rightly said, “Shut up, Ryan.” Cowell added that it was worse than anything we saw, even in the initial auditions.

So your bottom three this week…….Phil, Chris and Lakisha. America still loves Blake, and as you all know, strangely loves Sanjaya. Since he’s been in trouble before, I’m going with Chris this week, but wouldn’t be surprised if it was Lakisha either. This thing is shaping up to be a final four of Melinda, Jordin, Blake and Sanjaya. Are you scared yet, America?

See y’all tomorrow with the results…..after another excuciating hour long show.

I’m not referring to the show losing viewers or voters, but last night “American Idol” lost the sexy legs of Haley Scarnato. Before we get to the results, I’m going to bore you with an hour of crap the way Fox did….

First, there was a horrid Latin group performance of an Enrique Iglesias song that I won’t even attempt to spell. Sanjaya even screwed up the words which was pretty awesome.

Then, Ryan Seacrest interviewed a bunch of the shows’ fans outside a farmer’s market. Wow, they are really stretching, aren’t they?

Then there was a performance from Akon, who must have heard everyone wondering aloud why he was on the same stage as Gwen Stefani a few weeks ago. Turns out dude CAN sing. He wasn’t too bad, and it was fun to watch his DJ guy with the Sanjaya hair style.

Then they showed footage of Simon Cowell in Africa again, and in one of the funniest moments the show has ever seen, some African kid drew a picture of Simon with man boobs. Now, THAT is good television.

Then they did some spoof with Tony Bennett where the judges treated the old man like a real contestant. That was pretty dumb and self-indulgent for the AI producers.

Finally, each contestant was asked to stand as Ryan announced who was in the bottom 3. Phil Stacey was the first into the lower tier, then Lakisha, Jordin and Melinda were all declared safe. Haley was also sent to the bottom 3, leaving Blake, Sanjaya and Chris. Blake and Sanjaya were safe, leaving Chris to enter the bottom 3 and America to wonder just how long it has to endure Sanjaya. Top 4? Top 3? Top 2? Gasp.

Then Jennifer Lopez sang some song in Spanish that I have never heard, but she looked and sounded awesome as usual. But before that, Chris Richardson was sent back to the pack, leaving Phil and Haley. No surprises so far, right?

Finally, it came down to the verdict, and it was Phil that was safe. Dude seemed as surprised as anyone in the theater. So it was Haley and her legs, which were hidden tonight but covered in painted-on pants. But it was her time to go home, and America definitely got it right. Next week it will likely be Phil, and then it’s going to get real interesting.

Till next week…..

Tonight’s “American Idol” Elite 8 show featured Jennifer Lopez and the contestants all singing Latino songs. Not surprisingly, most of this very un-Latin bunch chose songs by pop artists Gloria Estefan and Carlos Santana. Also not surprisingly, the level of performances was not very good. It was almost like the best performance was a 7 out of 10 and everything else filtered down from there. Here we go with the recap:

THE GOOD

Did you notice there was no “VERY GOOD” category this week? That’s because there were no very good performances, not even from the always flawless Melinda Doolittle. Tonight Melinda came crashing down to earth, but still she was far from horrible. She sang “Sway” and Randy said it wasn’t her best but was solid. Paula said Melinda was sultry and subtle, and Simon said he didn’t like it and that it lacked personality. He added that he had been waiting to offer some criticism to Melinda for weeks and he didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

Chris Richardson sang the Santana hit “Smooth” which was originally sang by another white pop singer, Rob Thomas. Chris actually did well with this, but if you think about it, it really was a good song choice for him. Randy said it was very cool, Paula said it was a “hot” performance and that Chris was sexy (uh-oh, Paula’s got the googly eyes again), and Simon said it was the best vocal of the night to that point (Chris went third). Let’s also give props to that guitar player from the band. I mean, holy crap….what mad skills.

Jordin Sparks sang “The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” and while there were some karaoke moments, it was really pretty good overall. Randy said the performance was great and had the “yo” factor, Paula said it was authentic and that Jordin looked adorable, and Simon said it was just “okay” and that the performances were not getting better as the evening progressed.

Blake Lewis sang Marc Anthony’s “I Need To Know,” and I’m not sure if he did it to impress Anthony’s wife or not. But it was definitely a good song choice for Blake. What wasn’t a good choice was that hat he came out wearing. Blake could easily have been performing at a South Florida retirement community wearing that hat (Del Boca Vista?). Anyway, he sang really well and he’s in no danger of being eliminated. Randy said it was the best song choice of the night, Paula said Blake captured the essence of the song, and Simon said it was the best song choice AND best performance of the night.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Lakisha Jones sang “Conga” and it was pretty much disjointed from the start. There were too many syllables and too much movement in the song for Lakisha to keep up with it. Still, it wasn’t awful. Randy said she was having fun and that it was “hot,” Paula disagreed and thought it was a safe performance, and Simon agreed with Paula. He added that Lakisha appeared to have fun but he’s not sure the rest of America had fun watching it. Well said, Cowell.

Phil Stacey sang another Santana song, “Maria Maria.” I thought it was decent but there were a few moments when Phil’s voice cracked and that might spell doom for him. Randy said it wasn’t Phil’s best and he didn’t connect with the song, Paula said she thought it was a real good vocal, and Simon said Phil is a nice guy who chose a good song but it lacked originality.

Sanjaya is not even in the bottom group tonight, because he really had one of his better performances. I mean, dude is the only contestant who could pass for a Latino and he chose a good song, “Besame Mucho,” as well. Randy said it was really good, Paula said Sanjaya was on pitch and smooth, and Simon, though he admitted he couldn’t understand a word and that Sanjaya sang like a 14-year-old, said that the performance “wasn’t horrible.” We already knew we’d see more of Sanjaya and I think he just guaranteed himself another week.

THE BAD

Haley has been hanging by a thread for weeks, and she didn’t help her cause tonight. Well, with her outfit, she did try. Once again those legs were putting on a show of their own, and once again Haley’s voice didn’t match them. She sang “Turn The Beat Around” and it was all-around pretty freaking weird.
Randy said it was “really karaoke,” Paula said Haley looked like she had fun, and Simon said that Haley keeps wearing little clothing every week to hide her vocal skills, which aren’t as good as the other remaining women. Yeah, what he said. I mean, if Haley doesn’t go home this week I’ll be extremely surprised.

So your bottom 3 America……Haley, Phil and Lakisha. Sanjaya will once again rise above to safety. And if it’s not Haley, it will definitely be Phil. But either way both of them are next to go.

Tomorrow we have an hour long show, and it’ll be worth watching just to see how they fill up that much time for a results show. Me? I’ll be drinking beer at a hockey game. That’s what TiVo is for.
Until then, Adios Amigos. Oh, and Dirty Sanchez too.