Last night “American Idol” went country. And being that there are no Carrie Underwoods, Bucky Covingtons or Kellie Picklers among the remaining seven contestants, it was, for the most part, a big train wreck. Martina McBride was the coach this week, and she was a good choice because she may be the best female singer in her genre. So without further adieu, here is last night’s recap:

THE GOOD

Jordin Sparks sang “Broken Wing” and as she was singing, I turned to my wife and said, “Jordin could win this thing.” She just gets better every week, and it’s almost like she still hasn’t shown us what she’s really capable of. Randy said it was “the bomb,” Paula said it was fantastic, and Simon said it was the first time that he believed Jordin could win the whole thing.

Melinda Doolittle was awesome as usual, but she’s got to be looking in her rear view mirror at Jordin now. Melinda sang “Trouble Is A Woman” and as always it was completely believable. Randy said it was another solid performance, Paula said it was the right song choice, and Simon said it was a fantastic, Tina Turner-esque performance but that Melinda should lose the whole, “I’m surprised you like me so much” thing. Amen to that.

THE IN-BETWEEN

Phil Stacey sang Keith Urban’s “Where the Blacktop Ends” and it was pretty forgettable. The judges, however, disagreed with me. Randy said Phil could have a career in country music, Paula said it was good from the beginning, and Simon said he finally saw some personality in Phil’s performance.

Chris Richardson sang “Mayberry” and he was also pretty boring. Randy said Chris showed no emotion, Paula said the joy and love didn’t come through, and Simon said he heard a “non-descript, nasally, tinny vocal” that was “insignificant.” Wow. I didn’t think it was that bad, but the judges’ comments may push Chris out the door this week.

Blake had the pimp spot and sang Tim McGraw’s “When the Stars Go Blue,” but he was pitchy and didn’t really do the song justice. I think I would have liked Phil to do this one instead. Anyway, Randy said Blake picked the right song, Paula said he is the whole package, and Simon said he wasn’t jumping out of his chair. I have to agree with Simon, it was just okay.

THE BAD

Lakisha Jones sang Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take The Wheel,” and I really thought she was going to take a big swing and hit the ball out of the park, showing up former Idol champ Underwood in the process. But all I felt was the wind from Lakisha whiffing at the pitch. The verse was fine but when she launched into the chorus it was painful to watch. Randy said there were pitch problems and that he expected more, Paula agreed with Randy, and Simon said it was disjointed, like “eating a hamburger for breakfast.” Personally I don’t have a problem with a hamburger for breakfast, but I see his point. Lakisha has been awesome but she may be leaving this week.

Sanjaya reverted back to his sucky self, singing Bonnie Raitt’s “Something To Talk About.” He wore a bandana on his head and was just ridiculous in every way. But lucky for him, and I do mean LUCKY, this kid has the support of Vote for the Worst, Howard Stern, and the rest of America who are trying to turn the show into a joke. Randy said it was like karaoke and added, “What are we doing here?” EXACTLY. Paula said Sanjaya loves adversity (what?) and Simon said it was utterly horrendous. When Ryan Seacrest rushed to Sanjaya’s defense, Simon rightly said, “Shut up, Ryan.” Cowell added that it was worse than anything we saw, even in the initial auditions.

So your bottom three this week…….Phil, Chris and Lakisha. America still loves Blake, and as you all know, strangely loves Sanjaya. Since he’s been in trouble before, I’m going with Chris this week, but wouldn’t be surprised if it was Lakisha either. This thing is shaping up to be a final four of Melinda, Jordin, Blake and Sanjaya. Are you scared yet, America?

See y’all tomorrow with the results…..after another excuciating hour long show.