 That Van Halen reunion tour…? According to RollingStone.com, it’s already over before it even began.
Why…? Well, no one seems to know for sure yet - or if they do, they ain’t talking - but here are our best guesses: 1) David Lee Roth and Eddie Valen Halen got into one of their inevitable arguments, it led to hair-pulling, and when Eddie pulled off DLR’s toupee, Diamond Dave started crying and left. 2) David Lee Roth’s vocals are nowhere near what they were in the band’s heyday, and Eddie couldn’t kid himself anymore that they were gonna suddenly get better. 3) Gary Cherone’s schedule, originally packed, suddenly opened up, allowing the classic Van Halen III line-up to return to achieve the greatness that was so cruelly denied to them in the past. Come on, #3…!!!
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You’d think they’d pull it together for the $$.
It’s time for them to just roll over and call it a day permanently. Roth should go work the Borscht Belt comedy club circuit. Certainly some old timers in their wheelchairs could actually find some of his retarded jokes amusing.